Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Do I Really Need to Mingle With Other Catholics?”

Q: I am a new convert, having completed RCIA last year. After going through what I call the honeymoon period, where I loved all things Catholic, I now find myself wanting to be alone in my faith, rather than mingling so much with other Church members. In other words, I want to go to Mass, be pleasant, and then come home without having to engage in all the hugging, kissing and talking. Frankly, it annoys me. Am I able to do this and still be a “good” Catholic? -T.L.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Welcome to the Church! It is good to hear that you love all things Catholic. Perhaps a few observations can help you.

First, Catholicism is a blend of private and public acts. We have a private prayer life, but we also have a public prayer life (this includes the liturgy). We have moments alone with Christ, but we should also have moments in community with fellow believers.

Catholicism is not merely a “me and Jesus” religion. In fact, one of the sure signs that we are growing in love for God is that we grow in love and concern for our fellow man. “Whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God* whom he has not seen” (1 John 4:20).

So you might want to see how much your faith is being expressed in an ecclesial and social way. That is, Catholicism lived well is Catholicism that reaches out to help people. It doesn’t close in on itself.

Now, this reaching out to helping people isn’t the same as “hugging, kissing and talking.” Your reference might be to the socializing that goes on between the end of Mass and the exit of the cars from the parking lot. That’s not the kind of reaching out I have in mind. I’m thinking of the kind that gets people involved in charity projects, youth work, visits to shut-ins, helping out at pro-life agencies – that kind of thing.

Another important aspect of growing in our Catholic faith consists of fellowship. As Christians, we cannot grow if we take a Lone Ranger path. God likes to work in our lives through other human beings. We need faith-based friendships, people that we connect with who share our faith. This kind of fellowship can be relatively formal (joining a Bible study or a men’s or women’s group at the parish, for example, or getting involved in an ecclesial movement). Or it can simply consist of a small group of Catholic friends who make a point of spending time together and encouraging one another to keep growing in holiness.

You might want to see if you can complement your life of prayer and sacraments with some kind of apostolic work and fellowship. Perhaps there is a group at your parish that needs help. The possibilities could be endless.

Such charitable work will help to reinforce your faith, not detract from it. We often receive much more than we give, when it comes to works of charity. (By the way, if you are interested in a good book about the particular needs of the Church at the parish level, see Forming Intentional Disciples.)

Maybe this is a topic you will want to take to prayer. Spend time with Our Lord in the tabernacle. And keep an eye on the horizon that he might be inviting you to see. Loving all things Catholic includes loving Catholics, after all.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Is There Guilt by Association?”

Q: This topic deals with being involved with someone who might be guilty of sinning but without you knowing for sure. If we take a personal relationship between a man and woman as an example, let’s say a man has reason to suspect that a woman he’s involved with might be committing fornication. Would that man be held accountable in God’s eyes if that woman is indeed doing wrong without his knowledge? Same deal with, say, a business partner: If a business partner is doing something shady without the other partner’s knowledge, would the innocent partner be held accountable for the other partner’s wrongdoings? -M.H.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: The short answer is, ultimately each person is responsible for his own sins. We can’t be directly responsible for another’s sin if we have no knowledge of the sin.

The longer answer is: There might be culpability if someone had strong suspicions but kept quiet. An example would be a husband whose wife is cheating on him. If he has strong suspicions that she is involved with another man, but says nothing, he might be negligent in the sense that, as a spouse, he should be looking out for the spiritual good of his wife. He should not be indifferent to her possible infidelity. Where it gets more complicated is if his suspicions are just a hunch. For him to confront his (possibly innocent) wife might cause all sorts of problems in the marriage.

If a man is dating a woman who he suspects of fornication, he would have to pray and use his wits. The relationship would likely unravel on its own. He doesn’t have the same responsibility to look out for her well-being, but ideally he should be concerned with the state of her soul, and see what he could do to help her. Also, he would have to ask himself about the influence the woman would have on him. If she is fornicating, might she lure him into the same activity too?

If a business partner is doing something shady without the other’s knowledge, the other wouldn’t be immediately responsible for the evil acts (at least not morally; whether he would be financially liable is another matter).

Here, though, one would want to see if the upright partner was following good business practices. For instance, was there a system of regular audits, etc., in place? Business people have a general obligation to try to ensure that their business is following ethical practices. If there are little or no checks and balances in place, then the “innocent” partner could have some culpability if things go awry. I hope this helps.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Am I Beyond Hope?”

Q: I have despaired toward God and feel that he has given up on me and has already decided that I will not make it to heaven. I am very concerned that I am now beyond hope, by fearing that I am guilty of having committed the unpardonable sin. Please let me know whether or not I am beyond hope. As with all my sins, I am sincerely sorry for this despair and I do repent of this sin and dearly love God with all my heart. -D.L.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC A: First, it is good to remember that you are a beloved son of God. He only wants the best for you, and that means your holiness and happiness. Any thought that he has given up on you is not coming from God – it is coming from the devil. The only unpardonable sin is when someone stubbornly rejects God’s mercy. The Catechism in No. 1864 says: “’Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.’ There are no limits to the mercy of God, but anyone who deliberately refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit. Such hardness of heart can lead to final impenitence and eternal loss.” My guess is that you haven’t committed an unpardonable sin. You might have doubts about the extent of God’s mercy, but that is a different matter. If you are Catholic, then you might consider just going to confession and leave all your sins in God’s hands. That is what the sacrament of confession is all about: It gives us a tremendous sense of peace to know that our sins have been absolved and that we can move on. Jesus certainly doesn’t want us to spend all our energy lamenting the past. If we need to confess something, we should confess it and move on. It might help you to simply spend time contemplating God’s goodness and love. This kind of meditative prayer can be hard to get into, but it is essential for our spiritual growth. You might want to explore the retreat guides that we offer here at RC Spirituality. These are designed to help people engage in the kind of prayer that not only instructs us about our faith, but also promotes an environment in which the truths of our faith can penetrate our souls more deeply. For example, you may want to look at “Troubled Hearts” and “Trouble with Trust“. For further reading on the topic of hope, you might consider Pope Benedict XVI’s encyclical Spe Salvi. For further reading on God’s mercy, see Pope St. John Paul II’s encyclical Dives in Misericordia. I hope some of this helps. Count on being included in one of my Mass intentions.

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Invisible Allies | A Regnum Christi Retreat Guide on St. Micheal with Fr. John Bartunek, LC

Invisible Allies: A Retreat Guide on St. Michael and the Angels

Angels are not human beings who have died, gone to heaven, and earned their wings. The classic Frank Capra film, It’s a Wonderful Life, got that part wrong. Angels are purely spiritual beings, which means they don’t have bodies; they are entirely immaterial. But it also means that their spiritual powers of intelligence and will are not limited by their dependence on the five senses, as human intelligence and will are. In the whole hierarchy of God’s creation, from atoms to rocks to plants to animals to human beings to angels, angels are the most superior creatures, the ones closest to God in their very nature.

But when God through the incarnation became man in Jesus Christ, the relationship between humans and angels changed. Angels still have the superior nature, but we have been given the grace of a more intimate friendship with God, a sharing in God’s divinity, through grace, that even the angels don’t enjoy.

In this Retreat Guide, Invisible Allies: A Retreat Guide on St. Michael and the Angels, we will explore, a little bit, how God wants the angels to be involved in our Christian journey, and what role they are called to play in the dramatic history of our salvation.

  • In the First and Second Meditations, we will reflect on the Church’s two liturgical celebrations dedicated to angels, and try to draw spiritual lessons for ourselves from those appearances.
  • And in the Conference, we will bring some clarity to the often ignored, exaggerated, or misunderstood reality of the fallen angels—the devil and his demons, and how they try to tangle up human affairs.

Let’s begin by quieting our souls and turning the attention of our hearts to God, who is eager to spend this time with us. Let’s ask him for all the graces we need, especially the grace of a deeper insight into God’s plan for our invisible allies, the angels.

Video

Audio

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: May I Accompany My Child in the Confessional?”

Q: This is a delicate question, but you are really the only one who can answer it. I am an abuse survivor, but I do not want to abandon the Catholic faith for another religion. My question is, for a survivor who has young children and has obvious difficulty with trust, can the parent be present in the confessional during the young child’s confession? I could see myself doing this until the child seemed mature enough to understand, and agree that I would be right outside the booth, and he/she would know to immediately leave and report anything inappropriate, etc. I apologize for the question, but it’s hard to ask your own parish priest this question in person. -L.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I am sorry to hear that you have suffered abuse in your past. You are a beloved daughter of God, and this was not part of his plan for your life. It is good, though, that you haven’t left the Catholic faith; Our Lord wants to give you many graces through the Church, especially the sacraments.

A: I am sorry to hear that you have suffered abuse in your past. You are a beloved daughter of God, and this was not part of his plan for your life. It is good, though, that you haven’t left the Catholic faith; Our Lord wants to give you many graces through the Church, especially the sacraments.

Your concern for your children is understandable. In regards to the sacrament of reconciliation, the best and most practical way of ensuring your children’s safety would be to find a church that has either a closed confessional with a wall and screen between priest and penitent (each being in a separate, closet-like compartment) or a confessional room with glass walls, so that you could easily see what is going on. (In some parishes, for example, the “crying room” doubles as a makeshift confessional room.)

If you want to wait nearby outside a confessional, that is fine. Frankly, it would not be a good idea to try to enter a confessional room along with a child. The child has a right to privacy when confessing sins. Moreover, it is not likely that a priest would tolerate a third party being present. The last thing we would want is to turn the sacrament into an arena of conflict. And that wouldn’t help your children.

If your parish is the only practical option for confession, and you aren’t comfortable with the arrangements in the church (say, if it only has enclosed confessional rooms), then perhaps you could ask the pastor for a different venue. Perhaps a kneeler and screen could be set up in a visible area (such as the sanctuary) that is out of earshot of other people.

A positive development in recent years is that clergy have been required to undergo special training in the area of abuse prevention. And there is certainly a heightened awareness within parishes and schools about the need to be on the watch for suspicious behavior and attitudes. All this can contribute to producing a culture of alertness that helps protect anyone who might be vulnerable. I hope that some of this helps. God bless.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: May I Go to Communion If I’m Not Living Chastely?”

Q: My question relates to sex. I confessed having sex, since I’m not married, and the priest doesn’t make a big deal out of it as I thought he would. The other day during the Mass the priest said that those who serve should receive Communion because that is what makes the Mass so special. Am I allowed to receive the body of Christ, even though I’m having sex? -C.P.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Thanks for your note. Sex between two unmarried people is the sin of fornication.

The Catechism in No. 2353 says, “Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.”

That phrase “gravely contrary” means that it is objectively a mortal sin. One should not receive Communion without having gone to confession first.

Valid confessions require, among other things, that we firmly resolve to make amends – in this case, to avoid fornication again. That the priest might not have treated the sin of fornication as a “big deal” in the confessional might be because the sin is so common nowadays. Also, he is there as a minister of mercy, not condemnation. That doesn’t make the sin any less serious, however.

His exhortation that everyone should receive Communion should not be interpreted as some kind of blanket absolution. To receive Communion in mortal sin is itself a mortal sin.

It might help to study about the nature and purpose of sex and marriage, such as theology of the body. Christopher West is among the writers who have dealt with the topic in popular form (see here). I hope some of this helps.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Why Were Verses Dropped From the Douay-Rheims Bible?”

Q: I am a Christian, but I am non-Catholic. I was doing some research into Bible versions throughout history. I was skimming through the Douay-Rheims (I believe the 1899 version), and verses that are commonly removed or called into question are present. For example, Matthew 17:21 is included in the DR as well as in the King James Version (and all other English-language Bibles at that time). The same is the case with Acts 8:37. Most newer versions, such as the New Jerusalem Bible and the Revised Standard Version, remove Acts 8:37, Matthew 17:21, and a handful of other verses. I realize this is based upon the fact that older manuscripts were discovered. My question is: Did the Catholic Church at one point in history consider these “missing” verses to be inspired and preserved? Are they no longer considered as such, after finding the older manuscripts? What would you say to a Catholic or Christian who reads the Douay-Rheims Bible: Should he leave that version and opt for a newer translation? -J.B.

Answered by Father Devin Roza, L.C.

A: Regarding Acts 8:37 and Matthew 17:21, there is very strong evidence that these verses were late additions, added in at some point. There have been many manuscripts discovered since the time of the King James Version and the Douay-Rheims, as well as a great deal of study done regarding the history of the manuscripts.

While both of these verses where included in St. Jerome’s Vulgate, they have both been dropped from the Nova Vulgata, the current official Latin translation of the Church.

While the Church specified at the Council of Trent that the canon of the Bible includes what was found in the Vulgate, this was meant primarily to defend the inclusion of the seven books which Protestants had rejected from the Bible (often called “deuterocanonicals”), as well as to make sure that some poor alternative Latin translations not be used. It was not meant to exclude the possibility that serious study could improve on words or even verses of the books included in the Vulgate, bringing them closer to the original Greek and Hebrew texts.

In fact, Pope Pius XII explained in a 1943 encyclical, Divino Afflante Spiritu, No. 21:

“And if the Tridentine Synod wished ‘that all should use as authentic’ the Vulgate Latin version, this, as all know, applies only to the Latin Church and to the public use of the same Scriptures; nor does it, doubtless, in any way diminish the authority and value of the original texts. For there was no question then of these texts, but of the Latin versions, which were in circulation at that time, and of these the same Council rightly declared to be preferable that which ‘had been approved by its long-continued use for so many centuries in the Church.’ Hence this special authority or as they say, authenticity of the Vulgate was not affirmed by the Council particularly for critical reasons, but rather because of its legitimate use in the Churches throughout so many centuries. …”

So, again, the Church backed the Vulgate for use by the Latin (Roman rite) Church and for public uses (such as liturgy), without implying that every word or verse in the Vulgate was “the last word,” so to speak. The Church was mindful of the ongoing work of biblical scholarship and improved translations.

There is no prohibition against anyone reading the Douay-Rheims. Readers just might want to be mindful that there are more recent and accurate translations based on better manuscripts.

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!