Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: How Can I Help My Agnostic Sister?”

Q: I seem to be having a dark night of the soul. I asked my sister if she has prayed about her rather difficult situation, and she said she doesn’t believe in prayer. This hit me pretty hard because I thought, even though she has been away from the Church for years, she still prayed to God. Since I learned this, I would call her an agnostic. She is a nurse practitioner and highly intelligent and can be condescending. During our conversation, I mentioned the topic of near-death experiences that to me had seemed compelling and might be indicative of the afterlife and God’s existence. But now I’m quite skeptical after talking to my sister. She believes near-death experiences are nothing more than the result of brain activity (hallucinations) and have nothing to do with life after death. Also, my sister believes God is just energy and not a person. Please pray for us. I am horrified at the possibility that the God of the Bible doesn’t exist and there is no heaven. I hope this spell passes as it is an awful feeling. Please give me your best feedback. – K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: You mention that your sister is highly intelligent. Perhaps she is very good at being a nurse. One of the qualities of professionals in any field is that a person doesn’t stray outside his bounds of competence. In that case, your sister might know a lot about nursing, but her judgments about the existence of God and the power of prayer are a bit outside the bounds of medical science.

So I don’t think you need to worry about God not existing. He exists, all right, and he created everything we see around us.

Heaven exists too. It is simply the state of being with God. It is perfect happiness, perfect bliss — what all of us dream for.

It sounds as though your sister has lost, at least for now, whatever faith she had. I won’t try to guess why. You mention that she is going through a difficult situation. Perhaps this situation has wreaked havoc on her spiritual life.

What I would recommend is that you put her high on your prayer list. Faith is a gift, and as a gift it can be lost through neglect. But it can also be regained with the grace of God and lots of prayer. The key thing is that you might need to do the praying for her for the foreseeable future.

I can’t speak much about these near-death or life-after-death experiences. Perhaps God gives certain people a grace to experience something supernatural. That is his prerogative. But it is not a matter of formal doctrine, per se. It might be what we call a private revelation — if it helps people, it helps them. But it isn’t the core of Catholic teaching.

In the meantime you want to be sure to guard your own faith. If we spend too much time with people who are irreligious or anti-Christian, their influence can wear off on us. You don’t want that to happen.

Your relationship with God is the most important one of your life. This doesn’t mean that you cut off your relationship with your sister. On the contrary, you want to help her as best you can.

But if a simple conversation with her is enough to shake your own faith, you need to keep a healthy distance from her.

Guarding your own faith will a way to help her. For that reason you might to make time for prayer each day. Frequent the sacraments if you are Catholic. And take time to study the faith. Helpful here would be the Catechism or its Compendium.

Perhaps your sister might be open to reconsidering her own ideas. Perhaps she would be willing to listen to Peter Kreeft’s Faith and Reason.

Or she might be interested in Eben Alexander’s Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife, which explains how these “life after death” experiences can’t be just brain activity. The author used to be an atheist.

These works might be available through a local library system.

Above all, keep praying for your sister.

 

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Love One Another | A Regnum Christi Retreat Guide on St. Therese with Fr. John Bartunek, LC

Love One Another: A Retreat Guide on St. Thérèse’s Little Way of Charity

Written by Fr. John Pietropaoli, LC and presented by Fr. John Bartunek, LC, SThD Christ’s great commandment is that we love one another as he has loved us. Inasmuch as we live that out, we are Christians in name and in fact. But we encounter an obstacle: our own weakness and sinfulness. Luckily, God has given us the saints, friends who can guide us along the narrow path that leads to eternal life. St. Thérèse of Lisieux is such a friend. St. Thérèse offers us a Little Way of Love which we can follow no matter where we are in our spiritual journey. And in this Retreat Guide, Love One Another, we will explore that Little Way in the following stages:

  • In the First Meditation, we will reflect on the background of St. Thérèse’s Little Way and how it fits in with our call to holiness, which means greatness in love.
  • In the Second Meditation, we will delve into Christ’s great commandment to love one another as he has loved us.
  • In the Conference, we will unite the two meditations by looking at how St. Thérèse lived that great commandment in her own life, and we will draw out some practical conclusions.
Retreat Guide Video Update! Here is what is new and improved:
  • The introduction and meditations are now available as ONE video. Pause at anytime or click ahead to watch the next meditation.
  • The Personal Questionnaire/Group discussion questions are available in the Companion Guide Book or Small Group Companion Guide. Either download the PDF Companion Guide Book or purchase it. The Companion Guide Book is available for purchase from Amazon. Pause the video at any moment to go to the Companion Guide Book or continue to the next meditation.
Let’s begin by turning to the Holy Spirit, and humbly asking him to guide us in this Retreat.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Can the Morning-After Pill Cause Abortions?”

Q: My boyfriend and I have been discussing issues regarding marriage, and he told me that the emergency contraceptive pill Plan B doesn’t cause an abortion. Is this true? – N.V.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Plan B (the “morning-after pill”) can possibly cause abortions because it prevents the blastocyst, a tiny human life, from implanting in the uterine wall.

A review of scientific research has shown that the possibility of an abortion by the use of levonorgestrel, the key ingredient in Plan B, cannot be ruled out (see further HERE).

Depending on when levonorgestrel is taken, there is a 3 to 13 percent chance that it would prevent implantation in the womb, according to some doctors.

In such cases the drug doesn’t prevent the union of sperm and ovum that leads to the start of a new human life; rather, it acts as an abortifacient by preventing the natural development of an already existing human life.

By the way, an Internet search will show lots of websites that deny the abortifacient possibilities of the morning-after pill.

You might want to have some a heart-to-heart talk with your boyfriend if you are seriously considering marriage. In any case, contraceptives are morally illicit since they frustrate the meaning of the marital act. If you want to understand why this is the case, you might be interested in the work of Janet E. Smith, such as the posting HERE.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Divorced, Alone and Feeling Guilty for Not Pursuing the Priesthood – What Can I Do?”

Q: I am in my 70s and am not at peace about my vocation in life. I have never had a passion about career. In my Catholic education, and it came up all the time, we were asked to pray for vocations to the priesthood. Somehow the message had been delivered wrong, or I have received it wrong. Anyhow, for some reason, I feel uneasy, even guilty, that I have not responded to the request. The guilt will not go away. I wanted to be married, but found out that was a disaster. My divorce really brought things to clarity, and the annulment process answered a lot of questions. I now see how my family of origin helped develop who I am. And it pains me to watch my adult children do some of the same things that I have done. There are serious family disconnects that I cannot change. I am single now and living life to the best of my ability. I have no desire to be a priest; I just don’t have that calling. I understand the shortage of priest and appreciate those that are called. My problem is how to deal with my guilt and not being at peace with a calling that I don’t have. Thanks in advance for your support. – B.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It is good to hear that at least you understand yourself better and the impact your family might have had on your upbringing.

It would also be good at this point of your life to be realistic. What is done is done. You can’t change the past. But you can learn from past mistakes and then move on.

The best way you could spend your life now is the apostolate of prayer, including the rosary and the Liturgy of the Hours. Pray for your children. Pray for their conversion if need be.

In this way you can continue to be their dad. You can continue to show a father’s love by your concern for their salvation.

It would be good to complement your prayer life with a rich sacramental life, such as daily Mass and Communion. You might also consider getting involved in volunteer work. Helping others is a great way to put our own problems in perspective.

As for the priesthood, if you realize that you “just don’t have that calling,” then don’t worry about it. If you want to help promote the priesthood, then you might look into organizing Eucharist adoration for vocations. You could speak with your pastor about this. There are resources online, such as http://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/prayers-and-devotions/adoration/holy-hour-for-vocations.cfm.

By adopting some of the ideas above you can make the most of the time you have left. It certainly is much better than lamenting a past that cannot be changed.

Remember that the goal of life here on earth is to live in a deeper and deeper communion with God. This is the path of spiritual growth, the path leading to holiness. Deep communion with God requires a committed prayer life, growth in self-knowledge, the sacraments, and a sincere effort to imitate Christ and do God’s will in our daily lives.

All those things are possible for you. And it sounds like the Lord himself has actually been giving you some light and strength.

Continue to seek holiness. Live each day with a desire to know God more clearly, to follow him more closely, and to love him more deeply. That will give great meaning to your life and allow the Holy Spirit the space he needs to keep working in your soul. (Our online retreat guides at https://rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com/retreat-guides/ might help you.)

By the way, the devil loves to get us stewing about the past — the things we did wrong, the possibilities we let slip by, the what-if’s that hang over us like a sword of Damocles.

You don’t want to burn your energy worrying about past. Look toward the future — and that possibility that your prayers and sacrifices now can help all your family make it to heaven. That wouldn’t be a bad way to spend your remaining years.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

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Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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A Virgin's Courage | A Regnum Christi Retreat Guide on St. Kateri with Fr. John Bartunek, LC

A Virgin’s Courage: A Retreat Guide on St. Kateri Tekakwitha

In most parts of the world, the Church is right now undergoing “difficult moments.” And so, our pursuit of holiness is right now “even more urgent.” This Retreat Guide on St. Kateri Tekakwitha, A Virgin’s Courage, is designed to help us renew and persevere in that pursuit.

  • The First Meditation will highlight lessons from the first part of St. Kateri’s remarkable life, the years in which she lived with her Mohawk tribe in what is currently Upstate New York.
  • The Second Meditation will reflect on the last three years of her life, when she lived in the St. Francis Xavier Mission village, near Montreal, Canada.
  • In the Conference, we will take some time to unpack the Church’s teaching regarding non-Christian religions and how we should think about them.

Let’s ask Our Lord for all the graces we need: most especially, the grace to be strengthened by the inspiring courage of the Mystic Virgin of the North American wilderness, St. Kateri Tekakwitha.

We are excited to share with you an improved version this Retreat Guide. It is now available for purchase as a booklet on Amazon. The booklet journal includes the entire text for each meditation, conference, and reflection questions by Fr. John Bartunek, LC along with space for taking notes and journaling. We hope it helps to further open your heart to Christ.

 
Retreat Guide Video Update! Here is what is new and improved:
  • The introduction and meditations are now available as ONE video. Pause at any time or click ahead to watch the next meditation.
  • The Personal Questionnaire/Group discussion questions are available in the Companion Guide Book or Small Group Companion Guide. Either download the PDF Companion Guide Book or purchase it. The Companion Guide Book is available for purchase from Amazon. Pause the video at any moment to go to the Companion Guide Book or continue to the next meditation.

Let’s begin by turning to the Holy Spirit, and humbly asking him to guide us in this Retreat.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: May I Attend Protestant Services to Appease My Kin?”

Q: I converted to the Catholic faith from Protestantism, but sometimes my family wants me to attend the Protestant church with them. I feel this is wrong, since the Catholic Church is the true Church of Christ, but I don’t want to offend them, so wanted to see if it was OK to go and occasionally worship with them. – T.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Congratulations on entering the Catholic Church. I hope that you are discovering its many treasures, among which the most valuable is the Eucharist.

The Eucharist, the very body and blood of Christ made present among us, is at the center of the Mass. That is why the Catholic Mass is a unique form of worship. It is the highest form of prayer we can offer to God.

It is also in a class by itself. This means that no Protestant service can substitute it. So if you are thinking of going to a Protestant service in lieu of Sunday Mass, the answer is no. The Protestant service would not fulfill the Sunday (or holy day) obligation.

Now, if you are thinking of accompanying a family member to a Protestant service occasionally to build family unity, but without skipping your Mass obligations, then there might be some flexibility.

Nevertheless, you would want to be aware of the possible pitfalls. You obviously shouldn’t participate in the communion that is offered; to do so would send the signal that you are in accord with that denomination’s beliefs.

You would also want to be prepared to hear things that aren’t in accord with the Catholic faith. Protestant views of the Eucharist and the papacy and the Blessed Virgin Mary could be radically from the Catholic view. How might those non-Catholic stances affect your own faith if you heard them year after year?

Then, too, you might want to ask how your attendance at Protestant services is being perceived within the family or among friends. Would a young niece or nephew get the impression that Catholic Masses and Protestant services are pretty much the same, since Uncle X goes to both? These are the kinds of issues you might want to take to prayer.

For the record, it is good to mention that you shouldn’t worry about offending your relatives by not attending a Protestant service. Witnessing to your Catholic faith is one of the best things you could do for them.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

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Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If God’s Will Is Too Hard to Discern?”

Q: I’ve just come up against a huge hurdle in my spiritual life. I am thinking about doing the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius because I feel discernment is important. I thought I had discerned God’s will for me in a task which came my way at work one day. The task failed, in a sense. It was a pretty hopeless task from the outset, in that the likelihood of success was low. But I really felt I had discerned God’s will to do it. My reaction to its failure is this. If I failed to discern God’s will (I had been to confession the previous few weeks and was doing all I could to lead a good life), then God’s will is too hard for me to discern; it’s too subtle and there’s no point trying anymore. If it was God’s will, why did it fail? What’s the lesson for me here? At the time, and still now, I don’t feel I failed to discern God’s will. It just seems to be that God’s will was for me to fail. Or otherwise there is no God and trying to discern his will is superstitious nonsense? A friend at work once said praying to God for good outcomes is the most useless thing one can do. What do I do now? – A.H.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Without knowing what this task was, I could only caution that discernment involves something deeper than just “picking the right curtain,” as in a TV game show.

First, you might want to take that friend’s advice with a grain of salt. There is nothing wrong with praying to God for good outcomes. Petitioning the Almighty is a perennial form of prayer. The thing is, God doesn’t also answer as quickly as we would like, or in the way we expect. But if we pray, God has a way of giving us what we really need.

If you feel drawn to do the spiritual exercises (Find a silent retreat), then that might be what God had in mind. Perhaps you wouldn’t be considering doing them right now if it hadn’t been for that failure. This could be where God is trying to give you what you need, not necessarily what you thought you wanted.

It is not unusual for God to let us feel let down as regards something we ask for. If he gave us everything we wanted, we could easily think of him like a vending machine. Insert the prayers and the candy bar pops out. But God isn’t like that. He works at a much different level.

Perhaps this failed venture left you a little more humble. That’s good. For humility is the first step toward real holiness. When we realize that God has his own plans for us, we learn to slow down and take life more at his pace.

And in that sense, there was no “failure.” It might precisely be part of God’s plan for you.

Besides, if God’s will really weren’t discernible, if it remained unknown to us, then we wouldn’t have to worry about following it.

(For more on what “God’s will” really entails, you might find these short articles HERE by Fr. John Bartunek interesting: . For more on discernment, listen to Father Timothy Gallagher’s series HERE.)

So think about doing those exercises. But go in with an open mind. God might have lots of surprises in store.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Is It OK for a Guy to Go Shirtless?”

Q: Hello, I had a question regarding modesty for guys. Would it be considered immodest for a guy to have his shirt off? I know the comparison is often used that a guy shirtless is no different from a girl in a bikini. If you could clarify the Church’s position on this it would be appreciated. – L.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: The Church doesn’t publish dress codes as such. It does, however, teach principles that promote modesty.

Modesty in practice can mean different things in different contexts. What might be considered OK at a beach or in one’s own back yard would be out of place in a shopping mall, for instance. What might be acceptable in a Western country, for instance, might not go over well in a more traditional society in Asia or Africa.

Two principles that could guide a person in this area deal with dignity and charity.

First, as sons and daughters of God we should choose clothing that reflects that high dignity.

Second, we should dress in a way so as not to come across provocatively to others. Charity should animate us here, since we are called to love others in a Christian way. And that means we should be doing things that help other people get to heaven. To dress provocatively or immodestly could be a source of temptation and grave sin for others.

As for the shirtless young man vs. the bikini-clad young woman, I think there are similarities, depending on the context. However, given the nature of men and women, the case could be more easily made that bikinis are generally inappropriate except in the most private settings, whereas a shirtless man, say, on a typical beach wouldn’t be immodest.

When in doubt as to what is modest, you might try discreetly asking someone whose moral behavior you esteem.

At a spiritual level, cultivate a devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. She will help you to live and love modesty.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!