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“Ask a Priest: What If I Intensely Dislike My Brother-in-Law?”

/ Ask a Priest
Q: I have one sister that I am very close with. However, I severely dislike her husband, and I am finding it increasingly difficult to be around him and to have my children around his inappropriate behavior even if only for few hours at family functions. I love my sister very much. She does not seem bothered by her husband’s behavior at all, so talking to her doesn’t help. I know we are called by God to love. My question is, how do I love my brother-in-law while at the same time disliking him so much? What does that look like practically for everyday life? – K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Your question touches on a key distinction. Jesus commands us to love one another. But he doesn’t command us to like one another.

Love — Christian love — deals with a theological virtue. Love in this sense means wanting the best for the other person and being willing to help and pray for the person.

We do this because the person is made in the image and likeness of God. We do it because the person is someone for whom Jesus died on a cross. Each soul is precious to God. Ideally, we should look at each person through the eyes of Christ.

If you dislike your brother-in-law, then for the moment just accept that. But realize that it need not block you from loving him in the deep sense of the word. That sounds a bit paradoxical, but that’s life.

On the other hand, you mention “inappropriate behavior.” I’m not sure what this behavior is, but as a mom you have a right to shield your children from offensive things under a family roof. And as a Christian you have a general responsibility and right to apply fraternal correction to someone in the family.

“If your brother sins [against you], go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses’” (Matthew 18:15-16).

So how might you apply this in practice?

First, you might try approaching your brother-in-law discreetly. You might start off by pointing something you appreciate in him: his devotion to your sister, his hard work to support his family, etc. Then try to ease into just one issue that you have with him. Be specific and give an example of the behavior you find offensive, without being accusatory.

For instance, instead of saying, “Your language is crude,” try something like, “Joe, you know my kids look up to you and hang on your words. They apparently were scandalized last Sunday when you made that comment about X. They asked me about afterward. It makes an impact on them when they hear something bad like that.”

Or, if you feel wary of bringing up the matter, you might nudge your husband to approach Joe.

If Joe doesn’t get the message, you might approach him a month or so later, this time with another family member (your husband, or you with your husband if he does the talking the first time). If Joe hears the same thing from two people, it might make an impact.

If it doesn’t, then you might do your best to limit the time your kids spend around him. You might want to counter Joe’s behavior as best you can, explaining to your kids the rationale why you favor different behavior.

Before doing any of this, it would help to pray for Joe. Ask the Holy Spirit for help. Ask your guardian angel to communicate with Joe’s guardian angel, so that his heart is open to what you want to say.

And keep the long term in sight. It takes time for people to change. But change they can. Keep being a loving sister and a loving sister-in-law as best you can be. Prayer and charity are the fertile ground for God’s grace to work wonders.

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Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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Eight Characteristics of a Missionary Leader

/ Weekly Message Blog

At the historic 2017 Convocation of Catholic Leaders, the American bishops encouraged the Church to become missionary disciples, and to embrace the call to missionary leadership, the art of being true apostles who live leading others to Christ.

The convocation encouraged all those who are serious about leading others to Christ to deepen in eight characteristics of a missionary leader:

1. Leaders are people of prayer. They are intimately in tune with God’s voice that speaks in silence and finds time to imitate the Lord, who “went up on the mountain by himself to pray” (Mt 14:23). They receive the Sacraments of Reconciliation and the Eucharist frequently.

2. Leaders are conscious of the mission field around them. They are willing to go beyond their comfort zones to embrace and engage others. They act with intentionality and an open heart for all God’s people, not only those who are already active in the life of the Church.

3. Leaders actively seek out the lost, like the shepherd who left the ninety-nine and went in search of the lost sheep (Mt 18:12-14, Lk 15:3-7). They go out to those who are hurting and wounded and bring them “home” to the Church.

4. Leaders are well-formed for the work of ministry: pastorally, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and culturally, among other areas.

  • Pastorally, they speak the language of the faith in a manner their audience can understand in order to engage them.
  • They are emotionally mature, demonstrating the capacity to listen and understand different perspectives, form relationships, mentor others, and collaborate on a team. They have habits of compassion and empathy.
  • They have a solid intellectual understanding of Scripture and the Church’s teaching in order to proclaim the Gospel (kerygma), as well as knowledge of other disciplines that are necessary for their work.
  • Spiritually, they have a prayer life that is foundational to their work, regularly participating in the sacraments and the life of the Church.
  • They are interculturally competent, with the attitudes and skills necessary to engage well with people from all cultural families and backgrounds. In addition to these personal qualities, missionary disciples follow a four-step journey as leaders: encounter, accompany, community, and send.

5. Leaders should regularly reflect deeply on their own experience of encounter with Jesus Christ through prayer, the sacraments, adoration, Scripture, works of mercy, their families, the life of the Church, and so on. With an awareness of their own story, leaders can help bring others to encounter Christ as well.

6. Leaders accompany others on their journey toward Christ by walking with them and supporting them, especially in their struggles. As Pope Francis said, “Often it is better to simply slow down, to put aside our eagerness in order to see and listen to others, to stop rushing from one thing to another and to remain with someone who has faltered along the way.”(EG 35) This accompaniment should communicate love, and support a gradual assimilation of truths and change. This requires patience and understanding on the part of the leader.

7. Leaders find support and ongoing formation in the community, parish life, apostolic movements, diocesan and national networks, and small faith groups. Leaders work to make the community a place of welcome, hospitality, fellowship, catechesis, and solidarity—a place everyone would be willing to invite others into.

8. Leaders are sent to evangelize. They have been given a mission by the Church to go outside the walls of their communities and churches and to seek those who are lost. Missionary disciples also send others, especially those they have journeyed with, into their own mission field, wherever the Lord may be calling them.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Am I Wrong to Forgo Marriage After the Death of My Beloved?”

/ Ask a Priest
Q: There was a girl who I was in love with, but unfortunately I lost her to a brain tumor. Since then I took a decision of not getting married to any other girl. I am also not holy enough to be a priest. I just want to stay a bachelor for the rest of my life. I still believe in God and love him. I sometimes even pray so that I don’t get married. Will it be right if I did this? Is there anything wrong or sinful in what I am doing? – J.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It must be heartbreaking to lose this young woman whom you loved. May God rest her soul.

It is understandable that your first reaction is to want to retreat into a life of solitude. You need to go through a period of mourning. It would help a lot to intensify your prayer for the repose of your friend’s soul; in this way you could continue to show your love for her. With time your heart can heal.

Looking ahead, it is good to remember that God has a mission for you. It is not something that you need to shoulder alone, for the Almighty will be there to give the grace you need to carry out the mission.

You speak of “not getting married to any other girl.” You also mention that you are “not holy enough to be a priest.”

Perhaps in the first case you think that you are incapable of loving anyone else. In the second, you seem to think you are unworthy of a life of special service to the Church.

Let’s start with the priesthood first. The priesthood is a vocation, a call from Christ. It isn’t a backup career for someone whose hopes at marriage seem to fade. Rather, it is a call to participate in the priesthood of Christ to serve and help sanctity the people of God and to preach the Gospel. If Christ calls someone to the priesthood, he will give the man the graces necessary to follow the vocation.

At a deeper level, perhaps, your comments about marriage and priesthood are two sides of the same coin: You feel inadequate for both.

In one sense you are right. Certainly, none of us priests are adequate for the priesthood on our own. Similarly, the demands of marriage and parenthood can push anyone’s abilities to the breaking point. What empowers priests to be good priests, and spouses to be good spouses and parents, is divine assistance.

And that’s what you might remind yourself of now. You can do a lot with your life if you stay close to God and let the Holy Spirit strengthen and sustain you.

With God’s grace you can learn to see all the events of your life things through his eyes – even the tragic events. “We know that all things work for good for those who love God” (Romans 8:28).

What this can mean in your current situation is this: The love this young woman inspired in you is meant to grow, not wither. Part of your mission now is to spread love to others around you, in a way that is proper to each person.

This doesn’t mean that you must get married. But you don’t want to give up on life, either. Your own experience of heartbreak can make you more sensitive to the needs of others. That is a trait you want to cultivate.

Some of this might take time. During your period of mourning, when the strong experience of loss might be overwhelming, it would be good to avoid making a lifelong decision not to marry. Stay open to wherever God might lead.

Again, you need to go through a stage of mourning. But do it with the hope that your friend is with Jesus.

And remember that Our Lord has something wonderful in store for you. To discern what that might be, it would help to seek out a good, regular confessor or a spiritual director. Your friend would no doubt want you to find out what Jesus wants for you.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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Camp Kodiak: Sons and Dads Find Fun and Faith Together

/ Weekly Message Blog

If you are looking for a summer camp for your kids you likely won’t have to look long or travel far to find something of interest.

Our Kids, an online directory to camps, lists many camps band breaks them into categories such as: sports, education, art, day, overnight, boys, girls, families, religious.

Each category has sub-categories.  For instance, sports camps are available for everything from baseball to cheerleading to sailing to wakeboarding.

There are specialized camps for cancer patients, the disabled, weight loss and the autistic.

There are old-fashioned camps where kids canoe, swim, hike and sing songs around the campfire.

Then there is a camp that doesn’t really fit into any of these categories and probably doesn’t show up on websites alongside the park district soccer camps and weeks in a tent with the scouts.

We’re talking Camp Kodiak Alaska, where Legionaries and lay Regnum Christi men offer boys and their dads two weeks of true adventure and hearty doses of the Catholic faith. This is the place for boys to be boys, men to be men, and both to find the bonds of manhood so often lacking in our culture.

Camp Kodiak began in 1996, when Fr. Kermit Syren, LC, had a dream of combining outdoor adventure with faith formation. Fr. Kermit grew up in Anchorage, Alaska, and wanted boys and their dads to experience together what he had enjoyed as a boy: the Catholic faith and the beauty of God’s natural creation.

Fr. Kermit’s dream was aided by the 40 acres he owned near Wasilla (30 miles from Anchorage) before joining religious life – and which he had donated to the Legion. It was the perfect place to base his dream.

That first year there were just six boys involved. Camp Director Ray Arsenault got involved and in 1998, they built a cabin on the property – and later a second cabin on a smaller property near Wrangell/St. Elias National Park in McCarthy.

While other camps offer various programs in everything from computer science to swimming, Camp Kodiak’s “special sauce” is a remarkable blend of faith, family, and fun.

FAITH

Legionary priest and brothers are involved in all phases of the camp. There is daily Mass (even on a rafting trip or during inclement weather), Rosary, opportunities for confession and spiritual counseling and evening gospel reflections. Religious piety is observed.

“It’s the perfect combination of God and his creation,” Father Syren told the National Catholic Register in a recent article.

“I remember growing up in Alaska and being out in nature,” he recalled. “It’s about as primordial as it gets.”

FAMILY

Camp Kodiak isn’t a camp for men, boys or entire families. It is a camp where boys attend with their dads.

“Everything is done together,” camp director Arsenault explained. “We weave faith and fun adventure together – nobody get bored. Boys see their dads praying and that has an impact. Dads see their sons participating in exciting activities and that has an impact.

“We often see men who have been away from the sacraments or weak in their faith come back.”

FUN

Camp Kodiak isn’t about arts & crafts, video games or urban gardening.  This camp’s activities are serious guy stuff: sea kayaking, glacier climbing, rafting, fishing, hiking, archery, exploring, and shooting. Survival and camping and wilderness first aid skills are taught. The exciting fun is carried out with an eye on safety – and the presence of the camp doctor. The camp has a full-time cook and local guides who lend a hand.

“The fishing is remarkable,” Arsenault said. “Imagine boys catching salmon and having their fish for dinner…along a river with the mountains in the background, with their dad.”

And, of course, the physical environment is part of the magic.

Camp Kodiak offers boys a true taste of the Alaskan wilderness. Breathtaking views of glaciers, mountains and wildlife, all in an environment untouched by commercial development, providing the perfect backdrop for approximately a two-week camp session for adventure-hungry boys.

Targeting and attracting boys of high integrity and potential, the camp makes a significant impact on its participants. Rubbing shoulders with world-class leaders, the boys learn powerful tools. And, as Kodiak alumni begin to establish alliances and develop relationships, these tools are reinforced throughout life.

Camp Kodiak’s activities are geared to produce human, intellectual, cultural, and spiritual formation in a setting of adventure.

Fr. Kermit explained that in today’s culture there is a crisis of fatherhood. Dads don’t know how to model manliness and have trouble connecting with their sons. The camp is a beautiful opportunity to alter that equation.

“Sadly, we live in a world where men don’t know how to be men,” Fr. Kermit said. “And as a result, boys don’t see the men in their lives being real men. That isn’t what happens at Camp Kodiak.”

This year’s camp runs from July 7-21, with 40 participants. But even though it is too late for the 2018 edition of the camp, it isn’t too early to be thinking about 2019. Camp Director Ray Arsenault will be happy to talk with you. And you can expect him to be enthusiastic.

Having been part of Camp Kodiak from the start, Ray has seen the benefits of the program in others and in his own family.

His son has participated in the camp four times: Fr. Todd Arsenault, LC.  This year Ray will be taking his grandson to the camp for the fourth time. Ray beings an interesting – perhaps unique – perspective to the camp.

He and his family operate a dairy and saw mill on Prince Edward Island, Canada. That is at the far eastern side of North America.  The camp – near Anchorage – is at the far western side of North America. The campers come from across the continent, so it is an international effort that brings together boys and their dads from an immense area.

Fr. Kermit and the other Legionaries are the glue that hold it all together. Ray explained: “Imagine you celebrate Mass on the shore of an unspoiled river. You raft down the river, stop and catch dinner, then enjoy a meal with the mountains in the distance. You are with other men and boys and you are all sensing the presence of God and his remarkable creation.

“Who doesn’t have faith at a moment like that?”

Camp Kodiak: Sons and Dads Find Fun and Faith Together Read More »

Deacons Share Their Experience

/ Weekly Message Blog

In recent weeks, a number of Legionaries have been ordained deacons. Some Regnum Christi members are also deacons. Two of these deacons share what it means to be a deacon.

Legionary Deacons

Patrick O’Loughlin, LC, is one of 10 Legionaries recently ordained to the transitional diaconate in the United States. He was ordained on May 19th in Syracuse, along with fellow Legionaries Nathan Wayne and Eric Gilhooly, as well as his own father, Terrance O’Loughlin,  one of several men ordained to the permanent diaconate for the Diocese of Syracuse. (Another member of the family, Patrick’s brother Benjamin O’Loughlin, LC,  has already been ordained a priest).

On July 7 in Houston, several more Legionaries were ordained to the transitional diaconate: Deacons John Studer, Christopher Vogel, Samuel Tan, Nathan Torrey , Jerek Scherber, Jared Loehr and Justin Prigge, all Legionaries of Christ.

Speaking to us from Rome, where he returned after his ordination, Deacon Patrick O’Loughlin, LC, described his experience of the ordination ceremony. During the Liturgy of the Word, he says, “I looked up and saw, right across from me in the side aisle of the Cathedral, there was a statute of St. Joseph with the words, ‘Give me your heart’ above it. That meant a lot because Joseph has been one of the saints who has most accompanied me.” The two most powerful moments of the ceremony were the moment when the bishop laid hands on him and the ordination prayer as he knelt before the bishop.

It really strikes him when someone asks him to bless them or to read the Gospel at Mass. Although he often served as the master of ceremonies for Masses before his ordination, being a deacon is different. “Being there at service to the brothers has meant a lot,” he says.

Deacon Patrick appreciates the way the Church has renewed the spirit of the diaconate since Vatican II. It’s not simply a step to the priesthood but a distinct ministry of service. “In the ordination prayer, there is a real connection between the deacon and the Holy Spirit. In my preparation, I thought a lot about how, during this year as a deacon, I’m supposed to be close to the Holy Spirit and [to] detect when He’s asking me to do something, always along the lines of serving.”

Being sent out in ministry this July gives him a concrete opportunity to serve others. The Acts of the Apostles contains a number of examples of deacons serving the new Church, which are the model for his own diaconate, Deacon Patrick said.

Regnum Christi Deacons

Deacon Steve Nguyen of Kansas City, Kansas, is one of several Regnum Christi members who live out the joint vocation of being both Regnum Christi members and permanent deacons for their dioceses. One of two deacons at his parish in the Archdiocese of Kansas City, he also has a full-time job as an IT manager at the USDA.

Describing his first year as a deacon, Deacon Steve said, “Being a deacon has been such a blessing—to be the servant of Christ going out and ministering to people.” He described the spirituality of the diaconate as “understanding the servant heart of Christ.”

Deacon Steve feels that being a deacon lets him bring his of Regnum Christi formation to a whole new level. He told how once, while giving spiritual direction to a parishioner, he ended up just sharing the program of life he learned in Regnum Christi.

The diaconate also helps him in his life in Regnum Christi. “Being a deacon helped me open up to a different type of spirituality,” he explained. “Now I pray the Liturgy of the Hours [and] I bring that into my Regnum Christi prayer life. This has been enhancing to me in my interior growth.”

He sees both Regnum Christi and the diaconate as ministries of service to the Church, to the people, and to Christ.

Deacons Share Their Experience Read More »

Regnum Christi 2024 General Convention Rome Italy

July 7, 2018 – Fasting and Feasting

/ Podcast, Press Release

Saturday of the Thirteenth Week in Ordinary Time

Matthew 9:14-17

The disciples of John came to him, saying, “Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but your disciples do not fast?” And Jesus said to them, “The wedding guests cannot mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them, can they? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast. No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old cloak, for the patch pulls away from the cloak, and a worse tear is made. Neither is new wine put into old wineskins; otherwise, the skins burst, and the wine is spilled, and the skins are destroyed; but new wine is put into fresh wineskins, and so both are preserved.”

Introductory Prayer: Lord, I come to you in this meditation ready to do whatever it is you ask. Left to myself, I often take the easy and convenient path; yet I know the way of a Christian is through the narrow gate. In you I find the reason to abandon the easy path for a more perfect mission of love. I’m ready to learn the meaning of your command: “Follow me.”

Petition: Lord, help me to value the place of fasting in my life.

  1. Creating Hunger for God: Fasting has its place in the life of holiness. Like the precept of poverty, fasting is the purposeful privation of a natural good to make the soul more sensitive to the supernatural goods of the Spirit. It is the silencing of the flesh in order to feel more intensely a spiritual hunger for God. Just as the Israelites had to grow hungry in the desert before they could worthily receive the bread from heaven in the gift of manna, so in our life there is place to put aside the distractions of what is good for that which is holy. In the practice of self-denial, we will find the spiritual receptivity of a new wineskin that will not burst when, through prayer, God pours in the new wine of the Kingdom. 
  1. Respecting the End: The practice of piety is not an end in itself. Rather, it is oriented to the ultimate end of the spiritual life: union with Christ. Christ must unweave John’s disciples from an excessive rigor in their spiritual life, one that has lost God as its proper object. Spiritual pride can grow subtly in persons who take upon themselves forms of devotion or asceticism for their own sakes. In all things, even in the spiritual, we have to look at the end. If some spiritual practice does not lead us to live God’s will and his presence in a more loving manner, then it is of no use to us.
  1. Fasting and the Passion Lead to Spiritual Feasting: The moment of the Passion will come; the days of mourning will arrive. The fasting that the disciples lived and that the Church lives is one of uniting ourselves to the suffering Christ. Self-denial in order to do God’s will becomes a participation in Christ’s Redemption. Christ’s closest friends will want to share his sorrow, suffer his privations and make his holocaust visible to others through their sacrificial way of life. May I be ready to live union with Christ, embracing periodic acts of self-denial and the ongoing crosses of my duty for love of souls and his Kingdom.

Conversation with Christ: Lord, help me practice true devotion and sacrifice. Renew in me a holy desire to seek you above all things, so that all I possess in my life is ordered to serving you better and glorifying your name.

Resolution: I will make a special sacrifice to fulfill a duty of my state in life, uniting myself more to the suffering Christ.

July 7, 2018 – Fasting and Feasting Read More »

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If My Pals Like to Tell Dirty Jokes?”

/ Ask a Priest
Q: I am a 24-year-old who struggles with scrupulosity a lot. I have two close friends who invite me to socialize, but often there are many foul jokes and conversations (coming from them). I laugh, despite myself, while present. I have been trying to avoid hanging around with them since I am worried that this would constitute a near occasion of sin (additionally because I am also struggling with impure thoughts). I don’t know how to handle these friendships with this going on. My friends are both Catholic and we go back to early childhood. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. – J.B.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: This doesn’t sound like a case of scrupulosity. It sounds as though your friends are genuinely a bad influence on you.

Scrupulosity can cause us to miss the forest for the trees. We can get bogged down in minor details but neglect the big picture.

Catholics who traffic in foul jokes aren’t witnessing to their faith. By any standard it is very juvenile behavior.

This might be a good moment to step back and re-evaluate your relationship with them.

There seem to be a few options, among them: 1) do nothing and let the situation take it course; 2) make a conscious effort to change the topic of conversation or even walk away if need be; 3) challenge your friends and ask them whether they think the jokes are dignified fare for the group; 4) if all else fails, think of finding new friends.

There comes a moment in life when we need to be serious about our faith and helping those around us.

Sometimes it might be necessary to cut ties with people, even longtime friends, who are going in a different direction. Real friends help each other get closer to God.

Perhaps you might look to get involved in volunteer work that will put you in contact with people whose conversation and sense of humor run at a higher level.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If I Only Really Love My Pet Rabbits?”

/ Ask a Priest
Q: I am married, with children; by all accounts I have a reasonable happy and normal life. I never had any major upsets in my life. However, recently I have been troubled by some thoughts about love; the subject our Lord Jesus has put so much importance on. What troubles me is almost any love I see around me is partially a “transaction.” For sure, my wife loves me, but I am also a provider of financial and emotional stability for her; in that sense her love is not unconditional. Should I become, say a drug addict or a dropout, her love would probably diminish. Likewise, my mum loved me too, sure, but she also had certain expectations of me; that I should go to university and get a nice job and visit her in her old age from time to time. When I didn’t live up to her expectations, I didn’t feel her love so much. I guess there is nothing wrong with that, that’s how life is, but the troubling thought is that in that sense, to be brutally honest with myself, the only pure love I have in life is for my two pet rabbits. There is nothing transactional about that; I try to provide them with the best life possible, feed them, clean them out, take them to the vet and — this is the key point here — I don’t expect anything in return. My love for them is unconditional. The event that really brought these thoughts out was the death of my father after a long struggle with cancer. He was a good father, and while I felt sadness, I did not cry. Then years later when my pet rabbit died, I did cry, and I feel I grieved more deeply for her than I did for my father. Is this how it is? Is this the mystery of love? – L.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Thanks for your note. It’s good that you can at least honestly articulate your concerns and recognize your attachment to the rabbits.

To address that point first, it might be worthwhile to quote from the Catechism, No. 2418: “It is contrary to human dignity to cause animals to suffer or die needlessly. … One can love animals; one should not direct to them the affection due only to persons.”

What you mention about human relations has some truth to it. Many relationships are tinged by self-seeking.

Part of our spiritual growth — that is, part of what Jesus calls us to — is a purification of our affections for others. We are called to love as Christ loved, to seek only the glory of God and the good of souls. This is a high ideal. But since Jesus calls us to it, it’s not impossible to achieve.

As for your wife and your mom and whether they would love you less if you didn’t measure up: That is precisely the moment when Jesus is beckoning you to maintain your level of love for them. That is how your heart can become more like Christ’s. That is how your love becomes unconditional.

Perhaps three points are worth considering.

First is to understand the Christian definition of love. Love is an act of the will. It isn’t necessarily accompanied by warm, fuzzy feelings. Rather, it is a conscious decision to look for the best for other people and to be willing to sacrifice for them.

Here it might help to remember that we are serving Jesus when we serve others. “‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me’” (Matthew 25:40).

A corollary to this is that, properly speaking, we shouldn’t and can’t love animals in the same way we love people. Animals aren’t persons made in the image of God. They are his creatures, but they don’t have intellects or immortal souls. By nature they won’t complement us as we need to be. This lesson comes through clearly in Genesis 2:

“The LORD God said: It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suited to him. […] The man gave names to all the tame animals, all the birds of the air, and all the wild animals; but none proved to be a helper suited to the man.” [italics mine]

It’s possible that the rabbits have become a kind of refuge for you. They don’t trouble you. They don’t make big demands. They don’t complain. In a word, they are easy to get along with. If only humans were the same way!

On the other hand, since the rabbits don’t make big demands, you might not be growing in the same way you could otherwise. When people annoy us, they give us a chance for our hearts to grow and for our patience to deepen. Stick with only the rabbits and you might not progress very far in the spiritual life.

Also, an important aspect of authentic love is mutual knowledge. A healthy love between human beings has the potential to be much more satisfying than our love for pets, precisely because another person can actually know us, and being deeply known is one of the deepest needs of the human heart.

Second, let that “unconditional love” for the rabbits be the ideal you want to apply to the people in your life. If you can give without expecting things in return, that’s great. Lavish that kind of generosity on human beings. This is what is means to be a Christian.

Third, it might be helpful to meditate on the passion and death of Christ. See the love with which he endured his suffering amid the insults of his persecutors. Then recall that he did this for love of you and for your redemption. He didn’t wait for you to return the love. Rather, Jesus did it to carry out his Father’s will and to show his love for you and me and every other human person.

It’s helpful to recall that Jesus also died for your wife, your dad, your mom and everyone else you know. That means each person is special to Our Lord. If Jesus can see something immensely valuable in each person, that might be a good lesson to take to heart.

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Instaview of the life of a Consecrated Woman of Regnum Christi

/ Weekly Message Blog

The average person could only guess at the daily activities of a Consecrated Woman – that is, until last Wednesday, when Maria Knuth “took over” the Regnum Christi English Instagram page, @regnumchristi_english.

Maria chronicled her day through pictures and videos, from first thing in the morning until the end of the evening. Hashtagged #adayinthelifeofrc and #iamrc, the takeover was the second time a Regnum Christi member chronicled how they live their mission. (You can also look at the first time, with Fr Stephen Dyas, LC.).

Takeovers by other Regnum Christi members — Legionaries, Consecrated and lay members — are planned for the future, to give people an opportunity to see what the call to Regnum Christi means in daily life.

Thousands of people, some familiar with the life and others curious about it, tuned in all day to get glimpses into the life of this Consecrated Woman, who lives in suburban Cincinnati and was directing a Challenge Camp in Kentucky at the time of the takeover.

Beginning and ending the day in prayer with her viewers, Maria Knuth chronicled various “Regnum Christi moments” from prayer, from her own apostolate, and from others who were helping to form girls in a Challenge camp.

Maria Knuth began by: introducing herself as a consecrated woman for 18 years. She explained that Regnum Christi is not about what we do – because that changes – but how we do it. Then she invited viewers to join her for prayer.

 

 

She talked about where she prayed:

“Here is where I prayed this morning! I am on an ECYD Challenge Camp, and this is our little temporary chapel here to help the girls build their friendship with Jesus and experience one of the loves of ECYD and Regnum Christi — Love for Christ. You can see it is still set up from a time of prayer last night with the girls. So, this morning in my prayer, I was just trying to open my heart to Jesus. I have this thing for the Sacred Heart. I am not a very devotional-type person, and I actually don’t consider it a devotion to the Sacred Heart. I guess you could call it a passion for the person of Jesus Christ ‘condensed’ in his heart. During this month of June, the month of the Sacred Heart, in my prayer I have been asking [for] the grace to penetrate more into different characteristics of his heart and asking him to hide me there and to make my heart like his.”

Maria doesn’t just pray on her own: but shows other young women how to pray. Here she is praying the ECYD prayer with them in the morning.

 

 

 

She continued the theme of prayer by taking an artistic shot of her rosary for her “Mary time.”

 

 

 

 

While Maria prayed, the young women engaged in messy Olympics. She notes how they show the joy characteristic of ECYD and Regnum Christi.

 

 

 

Regnum Christi is lived in a team, so Maria shows her team meeting for a “work lunch” and organizing some other parts of the camp.

 

 

 

Regnum Christi carries its mission person to person, so a lot of effort is put into personal dialogue. Maria Knuth spent much of the afternoon mentoring teens one-on-one, then conducted a Q & A panel to meet young women where they are.

 

 

Later in the day, Maria and all the girls at camp attended Mass. She shared how beautifully all of them sang during Mass.

 

 

 

All Consecrated Women live as part of a community.  Maria had dinner with her community and explained, “I was happy to go up for dinner to have a brief reconnect with some of the members of my community of consecrated women.”

 

 

“I think, for me personally, one of the things I most appreciate about community life is sharing the mission together — each one of my sisters in Christ giving of themselves in their unique way to love Jesus and become an expression of his love. There’s something powerful in the witness of a community of apostles. Happy to be serving alongside these women.”

In the evening, there was a festival, and Maria showed one of her special skills: making balloon animals. Each one of us in the movement has unique gifts we can share.

 

 

 

Maria ends her day where she started: in Jesus’ heart in the Eucharist. She prays for all of us, and thanks us all for these posts.

 

Instaview of the life of a Consecrated Woman of Regnum Christi Read More »

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!