Q: A while back I went to a Church retreat and learned about vocations and how we should pray to discern our vocation. I prayed about discerning my vocation and had a dream one night where I was told God wanted me to be a priest. For a while I tried to forget about it. I have always wanted to have a wife and family and do not wish to be a priest. However, I don’t want to be doomed to hell because I have chosen to follow the path of marriage. This has been on my mind a lot, and I become overwhelmed by the question of whether I can instead choose the path of marriage over priesthood. I would appreciate it if you could help me understand what is OK. Thank you. – J.S.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Whatever God’s perfect plan might be for your life, he wants you to respond out of love, not out of fear.

Now, the fact that you are asking about the priesthood is significant. This isn’t to say that you definitely have a vocation; this takes time to discern, in tandem with the Church.

A few observations are worth mentioning.

First, if you feel drawn toward marriage and having a family, that shows you are normal. That’s good. Normality is one the first qualities a man needs to be a priest.

Second, if God calls someone to the priesthood, he will give the grace it takes to answer the call and live the life.

If you think that the priesthood is beyond you, you’re right. It’s beyond all of us. What sustains priests is the grace of God.

The same goes for marriage. A happy marriage doesn’t depend all on you. You would need God’s grace for this way of life, too.

My short advice is to be open to whatever God might be asking of you. The best way to see what God wants is to test your call. This means taking steps forward.

You might try talking with your pastor or confessor or a vocation director.

If you do indeed have a vocation, things will start to look different over time. If you don’t have a vocation, that will become apparent eventually.

In any case, a vocation is an invitation, not a demand. The path that God wants for all of us will be the easiest path to holiness because his tailor-made grace will sustain us.

But again, try to see all this in terms of love, not fear.

For now, you might want to intensify your prayer life and sacramental life. A helpful book might be To Save a Thousand Souls, by Brett Brannen.

I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers.