Q: Recently there was a memorial Mass for a deceased family member. My 40-something son attended and received Communion. He does not regularly attend Mass. I don’t know the last time he attended. Did I commit a sin by not telling him he shouldn’t go to Communion? There are so many these days who just casually attend Mass and receive Communion. This is concerning to me. – Linda
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: It’s good that you are concerned about the worthy reception of Communion. We owe it to Our Lord to receive the Eucharist in a state of grace.
Heaven knows how Catholics in a state of objectively grave sin line up for Communion: spouses who use contraception; people who watch pornography and explicit shows and movies; gossipers who destroy reputations; consumers who idolize money and property; and, yes, those who frequently skip Mass.
St. Paul’s warning is as relevant today as in apostolic times: “Whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will have to answer for the body and blood of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:27).
Nevertheless, God alone knows the heart and mind of each person. In the case of your son, a few considerations are worth pondering.
It is possible that he made a good confession shortly before attending the memorial Mass?
Was he taught the faith well when he was young? Many Catholics who received poor catechesis now live in semi-ignorance of basic Church teachings.
Still, your concern for your son is admirable.
As for your question: Did you sin by not approaching him before the Mass?
That is hard to say. How much contact do you have with him day by day? Was there ample time to approach him? Did you feel a strong inspiration from the Holy Spirit to say something?
In any case, your son is an adult, so the onus is on him to discern whether he should receive Communion.
If you feel the need to broach the subject with him, you might look for a discreet way of reminding him about the requirements for receiving Communion.
You might want to pray about it first. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and to open your son’s heart.
You might even want to add some sacrifices to your prayers. Your motherly love is still needed.
