Q: For many years I have been tormented by the thought of hell, so much so that I have started to rationalize the possibility that it doesn’t exist. It has ruined my life, frankly. I just can’t understand how hell exists if God is love. Couldn’t he figure out a way to save all of us, even in the afterlife? And honestly, I have experienced how unfair the world is, in that some people have better conditions for holiness in this life, such as good holy parents, while others were dealt with many things that didn’t support a holy lifestyle and so they might struggle with sin. So, we don’t all get an equal chance. And how God can even give us free will to sin? I get that it’s because he “wants us to love him freely,” but it doesn’t make sense to me. If I had a child and I knew they were going to do something evil like kill someone or take drugs, I would stop them if I could and they would probably be thankful later on. If God is a loving father and knows everything, how can he just sit back and watch us mess our lives up? How can he expect us to be perfect? Even though confession exists and we can always repent, still, some are not lucky to do so or have something that prevents them from doing so. While I still believe in a hell (more out of fear I guess), I just can’t fathom it. And I am also terrified I will never live a holy life because of what I struggle with. I don’t even know if it’s worth trying anymore. The odds are against me if the Church is right. – Karen
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: Certainly, you raise good questions.
The line between God’s grace and our free will is a fuzzy one that theologians have wrestled with for centuries. And the question of why a good God allows so much evil in the world was a puzzle to the ancients, too (see the Book of Job).
It’s helpful to remember a few principles.
First, God “wills everyone to be saved” (1 Timothy 2:4).
Second, “God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Third, Jesus is quite clear about the eternity of hell. “These will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life” (Matthew 25:46). We disbelieve Jesus at our own risk.
Now, God alone knows the heart and mind of each person. And he knows that he hasn’t given the same gifts to everyone.
And as for folks who didn’t have a lot of advantages growing up: God takes all that into consideration. He is merciful … as well as just. And that is why “Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more” (Luke 12:48).
Use of our talents hinges on free will. People can use that free will to sin. God won’t force his love on anyone.
The sobering consequence of all this is that hell is a possibility for those who die in mortal sin.
None of this is the fault of God. He sent his Son to redeem us and gave the sacraments to sustain us.
If ever we feel the urge to blame God, we fall into in the same trap that the devil set for Adam and Eve.
He tempted them to think that the Almighty was cramping their style by barring them from eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
And when they fell, Adam’s reaction is to shift the blame to God. “The woman whom you put here with me — she gave me fruit from the tree, so I ate it” (Genesis 3:12).
So, beware of the temptation to blame God for the faults of humans. Be doubly wary of any discouragement settling in. Discouragement can corrode the spirit.
If you have difficulty with these teachings, take them to prayer. Try to see yourself as the beloved daughter of a heavenly Father. Ask the Holy Spirit for a deeper faith.
And seek out a solid, regular confessor or spiritual director. You might need to confront other issues lurking under the surface.
