Q: Is it a sin to be ugly or physically unattractive? I’ve never been seen as attractive by guys, and I have a very asymmetrical face. I know beauty is one of the transcendentals and that beauty is largely objective, but that makes me feel so awful because I know I’m ugly and I’m worried that it’s somehow a sin. My friends say that I should get plastic surgery as soon as I can save up for it, but I don’t really want to. I was raised to believe that the way someone acts/someone’s inner virtue is what we should focus on. But ever since becoming Catholic I’ve been wondering if being pretty is important too. Thank you for your help. — Natalie
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:
“Ugliness” is not a sin.
I put that in quotes because beauty (and hence, ugliness) means different things to different people.
The beauty of a woman is found most profoundly in her loving heart.
The Old and New Testaments attest to this truth.
“Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting,” says Proverbs 31:20; “the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
Then there is the advice 1 Peter 3:3-4 to wives: “Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God.”
Closer to our own day, Pope St. John Paul echoed similar wisdom.
“[I]n giving themselves to others each day women fulfill their deepest vocation,” he wrote in his 1995 Letter to Women. “Perhaps more than men, women acknowledge the person, because they see persons with their hearts. They see them independently of various ideological or political systems. They see others in their greatness and limitations; they try to go out to them and help them.
“In this way the basic plan of the Creator takes flesh in the history of humanity and there is constantly revealed, in the variety of vocations, that beauty — not merely physical, but above all spiritual — which God bestowed from the very beginning on all, and in a particular way on women.”
(For related reading on plastic surgery, see this Catholic Answers post.)
Your focus on inner virtue is correct. God, too, looks beyond surface beauty and sees the heart.
It would be good to keep working on those inner virtues through prayer and frequent recourse to the sacraments.
And look to get involved in volunteer work. Lots of people, no doubt, would appreciate your help.
And they would likely see your inner beauty soon enough.
