Q: What does it take to feel God’s presence? I have been hoping and praying to God for 10 years that I could feel his love, but I’ve never felt anything. It feels like no matter what I do (going to Church, reading the Bible, going to Bible study, praying, reflecting, asking questions), I just feel nothing. I am so jealous of the people I see who seem so fulfilled and satisfied with God’s presence. I so desperately want to believe in God with all my heart, but my relationship, if it exists, seems so completely one-sided that it doesn’t feel like a relationship at all. I have no idea how to continue my faith at this point. – Bobby
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:
It might sound odd, but having a close relationship with God doesn’t necessarily involve warm, fuzzy feelings about his presence.
God’s presence in our lives can be more subtle than that.
This might sound odd, too: The fact that for the last 10 years, despite the lack of feelings, you continue to go to Mass, pray, read the Bible, etc., indicates that you are growing in your relationship with God.
Just imagine: If prayer always brought warm feelings, the whole world would probably be praying.
Prayer is tougher when there are little or no warm feelings. Indeed, prayer is a “battle of faith” (Catechism, 2573).
Prayer that comes harder for us might be a sign that our prayer is purer — we are doing it for God’s glory and not because we are immediately “getting anything out of it.”
An analogy might help.
When does a mom show her love more? When her children are perfectly behaved and the house is quiet? Or when she is up at 2 a.m. taking care of a sick baby?
She might not have a lot of warm feelings at 2 a.m. Yet it’s at that moment when she shows the true love of a mom; she is up in the wee hours for the sake of her baby, not her own warm feelings.
So, when prayer is hard, keep persevering in it. God certainly hears your prayers. He is closer to you than you can imagine.
Another sign that your prayer is fruitful is your growth in the virtues. If you are growing more charitable and patient (and less jealous), that’s a sign you are on the right road.
For further reading you might find Part IV of the Catechism, on Christian Prayer, to be worthwhile. Count on my prayers.
