Q: Over time I’ve begun to dislike going to Mass. I attend on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, but it is not with fervor. I am distracted by every noise or movement around me, detest the antics of children, mentally criticize parishioners, do not offer a sign of peace, and leave without chatting. I must be sinning the entire time I’m before the Blessed Sacrament and Our Lord. Many times, I don’t receive Communion because I know I’m not in a state of grace. When I confessed this to my priest he didn’t comment; he just said to say a rosary for my penance. But I don’t feel absolved. — Marie
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: One sign of a good prayer life and a good Eucharistic life is that we grow in the virtues.
If this isn’t happening — indeed if things seem worse at Mass — it’s time to step back and consider whether something else is going on in your life.
Perhaps the devil is (successfully) getting you distracted at Mass. He loves doing that.
Still, your problem seems to be deeper and broader than merely being distracted.
My short advice is this:
Use a missal if that helps you concentrate on the Mass.
Look for alternative places to sit, away from distracting children, for instance. Or look for a quieter parish church.
If you find yourself criticizing others and avoiding even conversations after Mass, you might ask whether you are becoming too isolated.
Try to get involved with some kind of volunteer work if you aren’t already. Reaching out and helping others can help you grow in patience and generosity.
Paradoxically, the love of silence and outward acts of piety can weave a cocoon around us. Like the pharisee in the parable in Luke 18:9-14, our acts of piety can lose their focus on God and even trigger disdain for others who don’t measure up to our standards.
As for the absolution: if you tried your best to confess, the absolution is valid.
But again, there might be deeper issues under the surface.
It might be good to do a retreat at a solid Catholic retreat center and/or find a solid, regular confessor to guide you.
Divine Mercy University (DMU) celebrated 141 graduates this year at its 24th Graduation Mass and Commencement Exercises held on May 9th, 2025, at St. John Neumann Catholic Church in Reston, Virginia.
The principal celebrant of this year’s graduation Mass was Most Reverend Michael F. Burbidge, Bishop of Arlington, who in his homily encouraged the graduates to be beacons of hope in this Jubilee Year:
In his benediction for the beginning of the Jubilee, Pope Francis wrote: “With Jesus, joy flourishes; with him, life changes for the better, and hope does not disappoint.” As Jesus’ words were ones of spirit and life for his disciples, so your words, together with your example of patience and perseverance, compassion and love, can be instruments through which the Holy Spirit will transform the minds, hearts, souls, and very lives of those to whom he will send you. As you try daily to reflect the compassion of Christ, may you go forth today as messengers of hope, witnesses of hope, the hope that is ours in Christ Jesus our Lord, the hope that does not disappoint.
This year’s commencement speaker was Dr. Arthur Brooks, who received an Honorary Doctorate of Humane Letters. Dr. Brooks is a Harvard professor and best-selling author, and one of the world’s leading experts on the science of human happiness,appearing in the media and traveling the world to teach people in private companies,universities, public agencies, and faith communities how they can live happier lives andbring greater well-being to others. In his commencement address, Dr. Brooks offered the DMU graduates a formula of happiness for themselves and for others as they go forward into their careers in mental health:
We are called in our ordinary lives to sanctify our work as missionaries. And to do that, follow a formula to sanctify that secular work by making your faith public, by making it natural, by making it magnetic. Strive to follow that formula as you go forth from this great institution, and you will begin the journey of love and excellence and truth, which will bring you and me and all of us greater happiness and greater hope and greater holiness.
The 2025 Distinguished Alumni Award was given to Mother Mary Concepta Yates, S.V. On June 1, 2023 Mother Mary Concepta was elected as the second Superior General of the Sisters of Life, who are entrusted with the charism and mission to protect and enhance the sacredness of human life. Prior to her election as Superior General, she served as the Local Superior of the Visitation Mission in New York City, and also helped to found the community’s mission in Denver, Colorado. Before being missioned to Denver, she completed a Masters in Clinical Psychology at the Institute for Psychological Studies (now DMU) in 2015 and formation as a spiritual director through the Lanteri Center for Spiritual Direction.
“Each of you graduating here today has given yourself to a healing profession,” said Mother Mary Concepta. “It is an honor, a gift, and also a sorrow to hear stories of pain, yet it is also a wonder to allow the Lord to draw you into his own work of transformation, to be a facilitator of his ordering, restoring, and healing work in another human person. What a sacred entrustment each of you have been given, and that you have fully received.”
Lifetime Achievement awards went to Dr. Gladys Sweeney, Dean Emerita and one of the founding members of the Institute for the Psychological Sciences (IPS/DMU), and to Dr. William Nordling, founding faculty member of IPS/DMU.
Bishop Paul S. Loverde, beloved Bishop Emeritus of the Diocese of Arlington, VA, was also honored with a Lifetime Achievement Award at this year’s graduation. Appointed by St. John Paul II as the diocese’s third bishop, he served for nearly 17 years from 1999 to 2016. In the words of Bishop Burbidge, Arlington’s current prelate, Bishop Loverde “has been a steadfast advocate for the sacredness of all human life, an ardent supporter of Catholic education, and an active promoter of vocations to the priesthood and consecrated life.”
Bishop Loverde also demonstrated a keen awareness of the increasing mental health needs in dioceses across the United States. Seeking to address this issue, he has been serving on the board of directors of DMU for the past 25 years.
To honor Bishop Loverde’s inspiring legacy and to further support priestly and religious vocations, DMU is establishing a scholarship program in his name. The fund will support priests and religious from across the country who will serve their home dioceses and communities after graduation as well as students who agree to work in the Diocese of Arlington after graduation.
As it continues to celebrate 25 years of creating healers-in-faith as a Catholic graduate university dedicated to the scientific study of psychology and counseling, Divine Mercy University congratulates its 2025 graduating class!
For more information about the degree programs at Divine Mercy University, contact Steven Showalter at 571-290-7580 or via email at admissions@divinemercy.edu.
For more information about the Bishop Loverde Scholarship Fund or to learn how you can support this important program, please contact Thomas Cronquist at 703-518-0281 or via email at tcronquist@divinemercy.edu, or visit the web page at divinemercy.edu/bishop-loverde-fund/.
Divine Mercy University (DMU) is a Catholic graduate institution of higher education offering degree programs in psychology and counseling, founded in 1999 as the Institute for the Psychological Sciences (IPS). The university offers a Doctoral (Psy.D.) degree in Clinical Psychology, Doctoral (Ph.D.) degree in Counselor Education and Supervision (CES), Master of Science (M.S.) in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Master of Science (M.S.) in Psychology, and a certificate in Spiritual Direction.
Divine Mercy University is accredited by the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools Commission on Colleges to award masters and doctorate degrees. Contact the Commission on Colleges at 1866 Southern Lane, Decatur, Georgia 30033-4097 or call 404-679-4500 for questions about the accreditation of Divine Mercy University.
The IPS doctoral program in clinical psychology (Psy.D.) is accredited by the Commission on Accreditation of the American Psychological Association (APA). Questions related to the program’s accredited status should be directed to the Commission on Accreditation: Office of Program Consultation and Accreditation American Psychological Association 750 1st Street NE, Washington, DC 20002 Phone (202)-336-5979 / Email: apaaccred@apa.org / Web: www.apa.org/ed/accreditation.
The Board of Directors of the Council for Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs (CACREP), a specialized accrediting body recognized by the Council for Higher Education Accreditation (CHEA), has granted accreditation to the Clinical Mental Health Counseling program in the School of Counseling at Divine Mercy University. The accreditation cycle for the Clinical Mental Health Counseling specialty area started on July 6, 2023 and runs through October 31, 2031.
Today we celebrate the Solemnity of the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist, the child who “grew and became strong in the spirit, and he was in the desert until the day of his manifestation to Israel.” After all his years of preparation, John did not come forth in a blaze of self-seeking glory. Despite attracting many of his own disciples, he continually pointed the way to Jesus. So too, are we called to do the same as disciples of the Kingdom. But we must first gain an interior knowledge of the Lord by turning our gaze from the messenger in order to “accompany Jesus around Galilee.”
We are invited to walk with Jesus in prayerful contemplation of his person, teachings, and healings so as to know his words, thoughts, feelings, and desires. And to know him from within ourselves. In this process we discover a personal friend. He is someone with whom we want to walk through life. Far from a romantic ideal, it provokes an ongoing transformation. What does “accompanying Jesus around Galilee” look like?
Galilee is a paradoxical place of beauty and purification. The incredibly hot summer months turn hillsides into an ugly, dry, and barren looking countryside. But wait… that passes. The chilly winter rains replenish the apparently barren soil. Lush greenery creeps its way through the dead brush. Patience for springtime rewards spectators with splendid colors of purple, red, and yellow wildflowers splattered upon the hilly landscapes.
The seasons in Galilee are like the seasons of our spiritual journey. Dryness purifies the soul. Showers of blessings germinate the seeds of grace. And faith “basks” in the certainty of God’s divine providence, giving birth to the flowers of virtue. The dynamic of our cooperative dance with God’s love and mercy blossoms into friendship with Jesus. We accompany Jesus and let him accompany us as we hear the echo of John the Baptist, “He must increase. I must decrease.”
In this process, we may feel we are sliding backwards, then moving forward, ascending ever higher and falling deeper. Surprises abound. We are exasperated at our continued weaknesses. Astonished when we experience a strength not our own. Flabbergasted by new manifestations of egotism. And yet, delighted when we discover that, through it all, we have truly fallen in love with the Lord.
When the time arrived for Elizabeth to have her child she gave birth to a son. Her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown his great mercy toward her, and they rejoiced with her. When they came on the eighth day to circumcise the child, they were going to call him Zechariah after his father, but his mother said in reply, “No. He will be called John.” But they answered her, “There is no one among your relatives who has this name.” So they made signs, asking his father what he wished him to be called. He asked for a tablet and wrote, “John is his name,” and all were amazed. Immediately his mouth was opened, his tongue freed, and he spoke blessing God. Then fear came upon all their neighbors, and all these matters were discussed throughout the hill country of Judea. All who heard these things took them to heart, saying, “What, then, will this child be?” For surely the hand of the Lord was with him. The child grew and became strong in spirit, and he was in the desert until the day of his manifestation to Israel.
Opening Prayer: Lord, I offer you this moment of prayer as an act of love for you. I lift up my heart with praise and thanksgiving for all the gifts you have given me, especially for the gift of faith and the hope of eternity with you. Lord, I believe that you provide me with all I need to grow closer to you and to live a life that honors you. I ask for the grace to be able to recall all that you have done in my life to draw me closer to you so that I can thank you and grow in my trust of your faithful presence in my life.
Encountering Christ:
What, Then, Will This Child Be?: Other than the birthdays of Jesus and Mary, the only birthday celebrated during the liturgical year is John the Baptist’s, and it is not only celebrated, it is a solemnity. Jesus himself said, “I tell you, among those born of women no one is greater than John” (Lk 7:28). Yet, at this moment of his circumcision, the question was “What, then, will this child be? For surely the hand of the Lord was with him.” In this case, the angel had told Zechariah that John had a particular mission (cf. Lk 1:15-17). Zechariah and Elizabeth then had the task of helping John prepare for this God-given mission. In a sense, all parents and relatives wonder as they look at a new baby what the child will become. We have hopes and dreams for them. As parents or godparents, and grandparents, we are called to help them realize their personal vocation, their God-given mission (John Paul II, Christifideles Laici, 58) so that every child can one day become a saint.
Blessing God: Zechariah had been mute all the months of Elizabeth’s pregnancy as a consequence of his disbelief in the angel’s message foretelling the pregnancy and John’s mission (cf. Lk 1:20). Here when he affirmed that the child’s name was to be John, he could speak and he blessed God. These words of his blessing form a canticle called the Benedictus, which is prayed daily as part of Morning Prayer in the Liturgy of the Hours (Lk 1:67-79). Zechariah’s words celebrate not only the birth of John but the hope of Israel. They celebrate God’s redemption and mercy, the fact that God fulfills his promises; he forgives us and saves us, and that “we can be holy and righteous in his sight.”
He Grew and Became Strong in Spirit…: Just as Jesus had to “advance in wisdom and age and favor” (Lk 2:52), so too John had to grow and become strong in spirit. It should be no surprise then that our faith journey requires growth. One of the greatest aids to growth in our Christian life can be spiritual direction. The Lord loves each person individually and personally. In spiritual direction, the director helps an individual recognize and be attentive to God’s communication so that the directee can grow in intimacy with him and follow him more closely. The director accompanies and encourages the directee in their Christian walk.
Conversing with Christ: Lord, there are so many ways to be complacent. I can forget that every good thing comes from your hand. I can forget that your love for me is personal. I can doubt that you will provide what I need. I can focus on my will and not yours. I can forget to spend time in praise, thanksgiving, and adoration. Lord, thank you for your love and forgiveness in the face of my weakness and self-centeredness. Help me grow in my generosity and desire to love with my whole heart, to love you in a way that orders my life.
Resolution: Lord, today by your grace I will pray the words of Zechariah’s canticle in Luke 1:67-79 and share with someone one way that the Lord has acted in my life.
Janet McLaughlin and her husband, Chris, live on a mountain in rural northeastern Oregon. She puts her Master of Arts in Pastoral Studies to work as she shares the beauty and importance of the lay vocation in her writing, speaking, and teaching on spiritual topics.
Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.
In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.
Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.
From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.
Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!
