April 4, 2025

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: How Can I Help My Boyfriend to Understand Limits?”

Q: My boyfriend was baptized in the Church but only started practicing the faith in the last three years. He has a pretty extensive knowledge of Church doctrine and loves the faith, but he’s often ignorant of the more practical things. Because he leans so much toward tradition (such as going to the traditional Latin Mass), it often shocks me what sorts of things he thinks are OK or even disregards as “too strict.” When we were watching a movie together and his parents left the room for a few minutes, he inappropriately touched me a few times. I was so shocked and hurt I could barely respond. He briefly apologized before his parents returned. Later, when I brought it up, it seemed like he’d almost forgotten about it, saying he didn’t realize it bothered me that much. I told him it was wrong, so wrong that I’d normally break up with someone over it, that it made me feel exploited. He apologized and said he’d never do it again, but still didn’t seem to realize how much it hurt me. How can I explain to him why that was wrong and help him understand boundaries? It seems like half the problem is him seeing things as off limits (a kind of negative rule) as opposed to always approaching me with respect for my dignity and the mystery of my body (the spirit of the rule). – A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It is admirable that you called out your boyfriend for his inappropriate behavior. You have every right to demand his respect — you are a daughter of God, after all.

Your friend is a work in progress. He seems to show a disconnect, having extensive knowledge of Catholic doctrine and a penchant for the traditional Latin Mass, yet being blasé about chaste behavior.

It might help you and your friend to read or watch some pro-chastity materials together and then have a heart-to-heart talk.

A few resources worth considering would be booklets by Jason and Crystalina Everts; videos by the Chastity Project; and the Theology of the Body for Teens.

In the meantime, it would be good to intensify your prayers for your boyfriend.

Be sure to set up strong parameters with him. If he tried to do something inappropriate with you seconds after his parents left the room, that is a red flag. So, try to stay in semi-public venues when you are together.

If you don’t see progress in him, you might want to rethink the relationship. A young man who genuinely loves you will do anything to help you grow in holiness. Count on my prayers.

 

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Lent 2025 – Day 31 – Your Moral Witness

Day 31

Your Moral Witness

Above all the gospel must be proclaimed by witness. Take a Christian or a handful of Christians who, in the midst of their own community, show their capacity for understanding and acceptance, their sharing of life and destiny with other people, their solidarity with the efforts of all for whatever is noble and good. Let us suppose that, in addition, they radiate in an altogether simple and unaffected way their faith in values that go beyond current values, and their hope in something that is not seen and that one would not dare to imagine. . . . Such a witness is already a silent proclamation of the Good News and a very powerful and effective one. Here we have an initial act of evangelization.

— St. Paul VI, Evangelii Nuntiandi

God didn’t save us from a distance. In Jesus he became one of us, walked along the paths of life with real human beings through the streets of Palestine, and made his redeeming love and grace tangible. And he did that for thirty years before he preached his first sermon. Since every Christian is alter Christus (another Christ), every Christian should do the same.

Christian Billboards

This is one of the meanings of “witness” or “testimony.” Our outward behavior shows forth the truth, the goodness, and the beauty of Jesus Christ. We become, as it were, billboards and advertisements for the abundant life Jesus gives when people accept his kingship and become his followers.

Of course, first of all, moral integrity is its own reward. Living in accord with what is morally right means living in accord with what will lead us toward the fulfillment we long for; it’s following the manufacturer’s instructions — the manufacturer of human nature being God and the moral law being the instructions for how to make human nature flourish. Telling the truth, honoring our elders, obeying legitimate authority, promoting human life, respecting other people’s property, treating people with the dignity they deserve as children of God, courageously facing up to evil and corruption, wisely training and governing our raw emotions and passions, putting our gifts and talents at the service of others — these are clearly steps on the road to spiritual maturity and lasting happiness for anyone who takes them. 

And yet they have a corollary effect as well. The more faithful we are to the moral law God has built into the universe, the sharper images of God himself we become. We were created in his image and likeness, but that original identity was obscured by sin and evil. As God’s grace works in our lives, and as we cooperate with that grace through freely engaging in the battle for moral integrity and spiritual maturity, that original identity is gradually restored and even enhanced. Our personal existence begins to resonate with God’s glory. We become mirrors of God’s love and wisdom. We begin to “shine like lights in the world” — a world that is darkened with greed and lust and superficial folly (see Philippians 2:15). We become, without even thinking about it, a scent of heaven that captures the attention of other people and makes them curious: “For we are the aroma of Christ for God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing” (2 Corinthians 2:15).

Our own moral and spiritual growth brings us interior peace and strength and overflows into the world around us; God uses it to invite others to step onto the same path of redemption we are following. This is the first and indispensable form of apostolate for every Christian.

When the Laws Were Not Friendly

In the first centuries of Christianity, this was in many ways the only form of apostolate. Christianity was outlawed. Public displays of faith and public evangelizing activities, therefore, were minimal at best and life-threatening at worst. And yet the Church continued to attract new members. It continued to grow and expand at a truly remarkable rate. How? 

Because of the moral witness of the Christians: While still living within the Roman Empire, their faith liberated them from Rome’s pagan prejudices and vices. And as a result the moral and spiritual quality of their lives increased drastically. People saw how the Christians lived, it resonated in their hearts, and they wanted to find for themselves that same purpose, depth, and joy. Thus Christianity spread through the silent, moral witness of healthy Christian living.

The Beauty and Power of Martyrdom

Sometimes this witness extended beyond the calm interactions of daily life and became dramatic. The English word martyr, in fact, comes from the Greek word for “witness.” The early Christian martyrs gave definitive and irresistible witness to the truth of the gospel. These Christians modeled moral integrity through their example of honesty, responsibility, and charity; they modeled spiritual maturity through their courageous fidelity to the unseen realities revealed by Christ, like the Real Presence in the Eucharist and the promise of heaven and eternal life. In addition their example and fidelity endured the hardest test of all: physical and emotional torture — and even death. 

St. Lawrence the Deacon was one of these early martyrs, or witnesses, to Christ. He resisted the Roman government’s efforts to unjustly intrude on the interior life of the Church. For doing so he was condemned to execution by burning — a truly horrible fate. The night before his martyrdom was spent in a dank prison cell, but instead of bemoaning his fate, he dedicated the whole night to prayer and song, joyfully preparing to meet the Lord. Unbeknownst to St. Lawrence, his pagan guard, Romanus, was watching closely, and such strange behavior caught his attention. The soldier’s curiosity led him to question the saint, who gladly explained the Christian faith behind his calm confidence in the face of such humiliation and suffering. Soon Lawrence was baptizing Romanus right there in the prison cell.

Our moral and spiritual witness is our first apostolate. Simply through engaging in the struggle to develop the moral integrity and spiritual maturity allows God’s grace to fill our souls and shine forth in surprising ways, catching the attention of our neighbors and opening their hearts to hear news of the kingdom. It is a primary way to love your neighbor as yourself.

Questions for Personal Reflection or Group Discussion

What idea in this reflection struck you most and why?

When have you been positively influenced by someone’s moral and spiritual witness? Remember, savor, and thank God for that experience.

In which circumstances in your life do you find it hardest to maintain your moral witness to Christ? Why do you think those situations/relationships tend to be so challenging, and what are you going to do about it?

Many Christians complain that the moral standards of today’s culture are so upside down that it makes it impossible to live with the integrity we are called to live. And yet that point of view fails to take into account at least two important factors. First, God himself is at work in our souls through his grace. If we cultivate that grace through prayer, study, and the sacraments, it will give us all the strength we need to do what is right. Second, throughout history the Church has frequently had to face aggressively corrosive socio-cultural environments. In fact Jesus himself predicted this: “In the world you will have trouble,” he promised his disciples during the Last Supper (John 16:33). And yet, the Church has often ended up influencing the culture itself more than allowing the culture to corrupt the Church. 

What will you do today to strengthen your moral witness in a world gone morally mad?

  • I will do a hidden act of kindness without seeking any reward.
  • I will make sure to speak truthfully in every conversation and meeting I have today, refraining from exaggerations and deceptions that only feed my vanity.
  • I will do something special for someone close to me — spouse, parent, sibling — just to show them I love them.
  • (Write your own resolution) I will

Concluding Prayer

It is truly right and just, our duty and our salvation, always and everywhere to give you thanks, Lord, holy Father, almighty and eternal God. For you are glorified when your saints are praised; their very sufferings are but wonders of your might: 

In your mercy you give ardor to their faith, to their endurance you grant firm resolve, and in their struggle the victory is yours, through Christ our Lord. Be merciful now to me, and grant me the grace I need be true to your will in my life today, that my witness may shine like a light in this darkened world and spread the sweet aroma of Christ to those around me who need it. Amen.

— Adapted from Preface II of Holy Martyrs in the Roman Missal

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April 4, 2025 – Imago Dei

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Friday of the Fourth Week of Lent

John 7:1-2, 10, 25-30

Jesus moved about within Galilee; he did not wish to travel in Judea, because the Jews were trying to kill him. But the Jewish feast of Tabernacles was near. But when his brothers had gone up to the feast, he himself also went up, not openly but as it were in secret. Some of the inhabitants of Jerusalem said, “Is he not the one they are trying to kill? And look, he is speaking openly and they say nothing to him. Could the authorities have realized that he is the Christ? But we know where he is from. When the Christ comes, no one will know where he is from.” So Jesus cried out in the temple area as he was teaching and said, “You know me and also know where I am from. Yet I did not come on my own, but the one who sent me, whom you do not know, is true. I know him, because I am from him, and he sent me.” So they tried to arrest him, but no one laid a hand upon him, because his hour had not yet come.

 

Opening Prayer: Jesus, teach me how to pray (cf. Lk 11:1). Holy Spirit, come and help me understand your word. Father, help me to know you through your Son.

Encountering Christ:

 

  1. New Exodus: In this Gospel passage, Jesus was teaching in the Temple around the time of the feast of Tabernacles, which is a week of holy days observed by the Jewish people each autumn. They celebrated the harvest, made sacrifices to God, and commemorated their freedom from Egypt. They dwelled in tents or booths to recall when their ancestors wandered in the desert, waiting for deliverance into the Promised Land of Canaan. This ritual of Tabernacles, also called Sukkot, was one way the Jewish people entered into and experienced the historical event of the Exodus. Jesus would soon accomplish a new Exodus, delivering his people into the Promised Land of Heaven by his death and Resurrection. The Transfiguration introduced the idea of Jesus’ new Exodus: “And behold, two men were conversing with him, Moses and Elijah, who appeared in glory and spoke of his exodus that he was going to accomplish in Jerusalem” (Lk 9:30-31). Peter was then moved by the Holy Spirit to proclaim a new feast of Tabernacles by building booths for Jesus, Moses, and Elijah (cf. Lk 9:33). This was Jesus’ mission, the reason the Father sent him to Earth, to accomplish a new and greater Exodus: the salvation of the world.

  2. One Like Us, Yet Divine: The Jewish people did not recognize Jesus’ Exodus mission, nor his divine origin. But they certainly thought they had him figured out. They “knew” who he was and where he came from. To them, he was just a poor boy from Nazareth: “‘Is he not the carpenter, the son of Mary, and the brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?’ And they took offense at him” (Mk 6:3). These people could not accept Jesus as the Messiah because he was too much like them. In his divine love, Jesus took on flesh and became man in order to be like us in all things but sin: “Now since the children share in blood and flesh, he likewise shared in them, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and free those who through fear of death had been subject to slavery all their life… Therefore, he had to become like his brothers in every way, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest before God to expiate the sins of the people” (Heb 2:14-17). The Jewish people could not believe this was actually the divine Messiah, the anointed King of Israel. He was simply too common; he was too much like themselves. They could not comprehend how Jesus could be both God and man. St. Cyril of Alexandria wrote on the duality of Christ: “… the Word, by having united to himself hypostatically flesh animated by a rational soul, inexplicably and incomprehensibly became man.” With this statement, Cyril defined the hypostatic union: Jesus is fully man and yet fully God in a singular existence.

  3. Imprint of the Father: The people could not understand Jesus because their minds were closed to the ways that God can work. They had God in a little box in their minds: “God works this way. He would never act in another way.” They did not recognize Jesus because he was different from what they expected. In short, they did not truly know the Father, so they could not recognize his Son. “Jesus said to [Thomas], ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, then you will also know my Father. From now on you do know him and have seen him.’ Philip said to him, ‘Master, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Have I been with you for so long a time and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, “Show us the Father”? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me?’” (Jn 14:6-10). When we come to know, love, and follow Jesus, he reveals the Father to us. Jesus is the “very imprint” of the Father’s being (cf. Heb 1:3), the true imago Dei. The all-powerful, everlasting God became weak and mortal in order to introduce us to himself, that we might have life in him: “For just as the Father has life in himself, so also he gave to his Son the possession of life in himself” (Jn 5:26).

Conversing with Christ: Jesus, I am in awe of your glory and your incomprehensible love. You work in ways I cannot begin to understand. You gave up your glory in Heaven to become a human like me to save me. You became flesh as a little child so I could imagine holding you in my arms. You come to me in the humble appearance of bread and wine each day so that I can hold you in my hands and in my body in order to become like you. Help me gratefully respond by being humble and small for others, as you are for me. Help me recognize the imago Dei, the image of God in myself through you.

Resolution: Lord, today by your grace I will pray a Glory Be slowly, giving due glory to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit both separately and together in the mystery of the Holy Trinity.

Carey Boyzuck is a wife, mother, freelance writer, and lay member of Regnum Christi. 

 

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!