March 7, 2025

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Should I Write Off a Guy Who Tells Dirty Jokes?”

Q: I am a college co-ed. There is a guy that I like from church. He is an altar server, and I am a lector. He is very respectful to elders, considerate, kind and soft-spoken. He also comes from a very pious family. We talk a lot these days. We don’t flirt, and I don’t want to be in a romantic relationship until I finish college. I am taking my time in getting to know him. But here is the problem. On rare instances, he would mention dirty jokes. I told him that I am uncomfortable with those kinds of jokes, and he never mentioned them to me again. But I found him telling a light dirty joke to someone else. Maybe he’s not as serious about chastity as I am (or maybe I judge too quickly). What do I do? Should I start distancing myself from this person? – A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Dealing with a current or potential boyfriend requires that you use your wits. Every relationship is unique and mysterious.

From what you say, this young man has his flaws — we all do.

But he seems to have good traits, too.

His serving at the altar, his respect for elders, his kindness, his family background — all these are positive signs. Especially in an age of rickety morality.

My short advice is to look for signs of progress in him.

The fact that he no longer tells these jokes in your presence suggests that you are having some kind of positive effect on him.

And since you aren’t looking to start a romance right now, use this time to cultivate other friendships. That will give you more perspective about human nature.

In any case, don’t be too quick to write off everyone who falls short of your standards. People can mature and change.

Moreover, your patience and encouragement can bring out the best in others (including this young man). These qualities can help you in any walk of life.

In the meantime, keep up your own prayer life and sacramental life. And say a prayer for your altar server.

And remember: The only perfect man you will ever find is Jesus.

 

“Ask a Priest: Should I Write Off a Guy Who Tells Dirty Jokes?” Read More »

Lent 2025 – Day 3 – The Spiritual Combat

Day 3

 The Spiritual Combat

St. Paul’s words (especially in the Letters to the Romans and Galatians) enable us to know and feel vividly the strength of the tension and struggle going on in man between openness to the action of the Holy Spirit and resistance and opposition to him . . . 

— St. John Paul II, Dominum et Vivificantem, 55

The devil, our ancient enemy, really exists. Jesus talked about him a lot. The Catechism emphasizes the reality of this fallen angel, who is interested in interfering with the adventure of love we are called to live:

Evil is not an abstraction, but refers to a person, Satan, the Evil One, the angel who opposes God. The devil is the one who ‘throws himself across’ God’s plan and his work of salvation accomplished in Christ. 

And the devil knows the truth that we examined in the last chapter, that God is faithful, that divine grace will never fail us. The devil knows that he cannot obstruct the flow of God’s grace at its source. He can, however, clog up the channels by which we normally receive that grace. He can confuse and distract the minds and hearts to which God’s grace is directed, turning us into bad receivers, bad cooperators, irresponsible partners. This is his strategy.

Enemies of Our Spiritual Growth 

And our ancient enemy has powerful allies: the fallen world (all the corrupting and wounding influences that come from the proliferation of sin in human society and culture) and our fallen human nature (our own internal divisions and insecurities that make us vulnerable to temptation). Because of these, we have built-in tendencies that continually nudge us away from God’s grace and disturb the spiritual docility needed for that grace to be fruitful in our lives. St. John refers to these negative influences when he warns the early Christians: 

Do not love the world or the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, sensual lust, enticement for the eyes, and a pretentious life, is not from the Father but is from the world. (1 John 2:15–16) 

The fallen world in which we live — though good in its essence because it was created by God — can be a snare for us fallen human beings. This is why the Church has never ceased to remind us that the spiritual life is, at least in part, also a spiritual combat: 

Therefore man is split within himself. As a result, all of human life, whether individual or collective, shows itself to be a dramatic struggle between good and evil, between light and darkness. . . . The whole of man’s history has been the story of dour combat with the powers of evil, stretching, so our Lord tells us, from the very dawn of history until the last day. Finding himself in the midst of the battlefield man has to struggle to do what is right, and it is at great cost to himself, aided by God’s grace, that he succeeds in achieving his own inner integrity.

An Interior Battle

This spiritual combat doesn’t happen with guns and swords and tanks and missiles. It takes place much more subtly, often invisibly, in the intimate arena of human freedom. It has to do with our daily choices, whether large or small. It has to do with how we use the gift of free will that we have received. 

God, as well as our better self, wants us to use that freedom to choose, step after step, the path of union and friendship with Christ, the path of abundant life, the path of obedience to his wise and loving plan for the human family: “I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly. I am the good shepherd” (John 10:10–11). 

Our enemy and our fallen nature, on the other hand, want us to use our free will in order to choose a different path, a path strewn with false promises (that we can somehow be fulfilled without God, for instance) and false ideas about God and ourselves (we are unloveable, God is untrustworthy, holiness is beyond our reach, it’s not worth trying anymore, etc.). 

This path often appears to offer easier and quicker access to happiness, but in fact it leads to interior disintegration and emptiness, because the devil is “a murderer . . . a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44) and because sin always has evil consequences: “For the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). 

Spiritual combat is the ongoing battle between these contrary forces: Which will we choose to follow? St. Peter sums it up vividly in his first letter. First, he points out our need to be watchful: 

Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, steadfast in faith . . . 

And then he reminds us that our vigilance should never be harsh and desperate but calm and joyful, even when it’s hard, because God is with us: 

The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ [Jesus] will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a little. (1 Peter 5:8–10)

Sometimes our choices are stark and obvious, as when the Israelites abandoned God in the wilderness by worshipping the golden calf, or when David laid his life on the line by going out to face Goliath. 

Yet, although some individual choices may be stark, the process by which we make those choices is complex. We arrive at big-decision moments with a predisposition for self-giving or self-centeredness, for docility or resistance to God’s action in our lives. The gradual formation of that predisposition is the real, day-to-day spiritual battleground. The predisposition is built up from many little, seemingly insignificant choices that gradually fill in our spiritual profile: choices about how we spend our time; whom we befriend; what we say and how we say it; and how we react to unforeseen opportunities, difficulties, or temptations. 

Through the exercise of our free will in the little choices we make, we are either furthering Christ’s kingdom and growing in spiritual maturity, or we are inhibiting that kingdom and stunting our spiritual growth. As Jesus put it: 

The person who is trustworthy in very small matters is also trustworthy in great ones; and the person who is dishonest in very small matters is also dishonest in great ones. (Luke 16:10) 

Small Battles Prepare Us for Bigger Battles

Jesus illustrated the relationship between the many small choices that prepare us for bigger decisions by using a construction image. He likened the spiritual life to the construction of a house. We build gradually, through choices in or out of harmony with his wisdom. Then comes a storm, a stark choice, a big decision, a decisive temptation. Our response to the storm is conditioned by all the small choices that went into building up our spiritual edifice:

Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock. And everyone who listens to these words of mine but does not act on them will be like a fool who built his house on sand. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined. (Matthew 7:24–27)

Spiritual Responsibility

Before he became bishop and then pope, St. John Paul II was known for his wise advice in the confessional. But he was also known for the delicate respect he showed to those who came to confession. After helping them sort through their confusion and their trouble, and after identifying some possible next steps, he would always say, “But now it is up to you; you must choose.” 

This is the battlefield of the spiritual combat: the intimate and mysterious arena of human freedom. Every day we enter that arena anew. There, through our decisions, we make ourselves more into one of two kinds of people — either the kind of person who stays faithful to what is true, good, and beautiful, or the kind of person who prefers an easier path, namely, the wide gate and the broad road that lead to destruction (see Matthew 7:13).

 

Questions for Personal Reflection or Group Discussion

What idea in this reflection struck you most and why?

How aware are you of your interior freedom, your God-given capacity to choose how you will act and react?

How does the reality of spiritual combat make you feel: excited, frightened, confused, humble? How do you think God wants this truth to make you feel?

Victor Frankl was a Jewish psychologist sent to a concentration camp in Nazi Germany. His experience of surviving the camp led him to develop a new school of psychology based on what he termed “logotherapy.”One of his key principles was: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” 

What will you do today to exercise more consciously this great gift of interior freedom?

  • I will say a prayer instead of retaliating when I feel attacked or misunderstood.
  • I will say no to my usual tendency to procrastinate regarding important things.
  • I will give myself some silence today, a few minutes to simply let my interior settle down and listen to what God may be saying to my heart.
  • (Write your own resolution) I will

Concluding Prayer

Grant, O Lord, that we may begin with holy fasting
this campaign of Christian service, 
so that, as we take up battle against spiritual evils, 
we may be armed with weapons of self-restraint.

— Roman Missal, Collect from the Mass for Ash Wednesday

Lent 2025 – Day 3 – The Spiritual Combat Read More »

March 7, 2025 – Why Fast?

Listen to the audio version

Friday after Ash Wednesday

Matthew 9:14-15

The disciples of John approached Jesus and said, “Why do we and the Pharisees fast much, but your disciples do not fast?” Jesus answered them, “Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast.”

Opening Prayer: Lord, we are at the beginning of Lent, and I already doubt my ability to keep a Lenten fast. Help me, Lord, to grow in all the virtues, but most especially during Lent to grow in the virtues of temperance, fortitude, and perseverance.

Encountering Christ:

  1. Fasting Much: The question that John the Baptist’s disciples asked Jesus was like the one asked of God in the first reading from the prophet Isaiah, “Why do we fast, and you do not see it? Afflict ourselves, and you take no note of it?” Why is fasting such an affliction? Why do we think it merits special attention from God? By fasting from our selfish attachments, we wage a tough battle against formidable forces: the three enemies of the soul—the world, the flesh, and the devil. It is reasonable to want assurance from God that we are gaining spiritual graces! The Catechism tells us that fasting “ensures the times of ascesis and penance which prepare us for the liturgical feasts and help us acquire mastery over our instincts and freedom of heart” (CCC 2043). According to St. Josemaría Escrivá, “Fasting allows the soul to fly.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                
  2. The Bridegroom: “Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them?” seems like a strange response to the question asked, but Jesus was speaking particularly to the disciples of John the Baptist. Jesus’ disciples, whom he referred to here as the wedding guests, enjoyed an intimate personal relationship with him. Jesus was taking this opportunity to proclaim to John the Baptist’s disciples that he is the bridegroom, the Messiah they have been anticipating. Jesus’ response was their answer: His disciples did not fast because they found the goal of fasting—God.                                                                                                                                                                                    
  3. Then They Will Fast: When Jesus Christ, the Word of God, spoke, every word was rich in meaning. By saying, “The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast,” Jesus was both preparing his followers for his death and declaring that fasting was to remain as a practice for the faithful. “Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill” (Mt 5:17). Our fasting is not only a personal and singular fight against temptation; Jesus fights in us for us, and we join Jesus in his saving mission for the world. In fasting, the Church as the bride of Christ joins her bridegroom in conquering evil and rescuing souls, including our own!

Conversing with Christ: Lord, you know all the things I choose in preference to you. I want to be your disciple. I want to join in your plan of salvation for the world. What do you want me to fast from so I can become more like you? In, with, and through you, I want to help feed the hungry, give sight to the blind, set captives free, and spread the Gospel.

Resolution: Lord, today by your grace I will choose at least one thing (food, social media, television, alcohol, etc.) that I am very attached to and give it up for the rest of Lent. If I fail, I will try again.

For Further Reflection: A Reflection on Lenten Fasting from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

Nan Balfour is a grateful Catholic whose greatest desire is to make our Lord Jesus more loved. She seeks to accomplish this through her vocation to womanhood, marriage, motherhood, and God’s gifts of writing and speaking.

March 7, 2025 – Why Fast? Read More »

Scroll to Top

Events

Looking for another country?

Contact Regnum Christi near you

News & Resources

News & Resources

The Regnum Christi Mission

The Regnum Christi Identity

Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!