November 8, 2024

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If I Can’t Shake a Childhood Memory?”

Q: This is silly, but it keeps coming up when I pray or meditate. When I was in sixth grade I had a nun who absolutely hated me. The students that she preferred were petite, well-kept girls. I was a tomboy and overweight. My parents were working class. This nun was super passive-aggressive and brought out the worst in me. She even pressured a friend of mine, another student, to change the spelling of her name. This kind of stress probably caused health problems in my friend. I’m 60 now, so I don’t know why this nun keeps flooding my memories. All is good. I prayed to forgive her, and to be forgiven if I did anything to offend her. But yikes, she really traumatized me! What can I do to dismiss her from my thoughts? – M.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: The short answer is to keep praying for this nun whenever she comes to mind. She might need your prayers a lot more than you realize!

(And maybe she didn’t hate you but rather had her own struggles.)

As for memories in general: It’s not unusual that childhood incidents come to mind more often as we get older. Certain incidents burrow deep in young minds; it’s hard to get rid of them.

If these memories continue to weigh you down, it might be worthwhile to seek a good therapist for at least a few sessions. There might be something more than just memories of a nun that is unsettling you.

In the meantime, praying for difficult souls from the past might help us grow in holiness, which is one way that God can bring good out of bad. Count on my prayers.

 

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Uncle Eddy

St Willihad

Dear Willy,

I know, of course, that you are “only doing your duty” by spending time sending cover letters and résumés to the “top 121” management consulting firms.  Certainly it would be presumptuous for you not to look for a job – senior year won’t last for ever. But I cannot hide my distress at discovering that you have not even considered – not even for a moment – the possibility of putting your considerable talents to use in serving Christ’s Kingdom.  You have your whole life ahead of you; would it be so unspeakable to give the next two years to work in some apostolic endeavor? Have you looked into your heart and asked the Lord if he would you like you to do so? Do you think He has given you your many abilities precisely for such a transcendent mission?  Perhaps the example of today’s saint will prove enlightening.

His mother died when he was only a boy, at which time his dad joined a monastery.  So Willihad spent his childhood learning the wisdom of Christ from the monks. It took root, and he received approval from the King of Northumberland (England) to follow the footsteps of his countrymen, St Boniface and St Willibrord, by going as a missionary to the Continent.  He ended up picking up right where the martyred Boniface had left off, and spent the next 35 years spreading the Gospel among the pagan Saxons. His work had its ups and downs, however, seeing as he had to dodge the repeated Saxon rebellions against Charlemagne’s rule. During the wars he waited patiently in monasteries, dedicating himself to prayer, study, and the encouragement of his missionary companions.  He also betook himself to Rome to receive the Pope’s blessing for his work. In the end, his missionary zeal gradually won over the hearts of even the most resistant Saxons, and he was made bishop of Bremen, where for two years he oversaw the construction of a Cathedral and of many churches. The Church in Germany had been conceived by St Boniface, but it was given birth by St Willibrord.

I do him an injustice, however.  I forgot to mention that throughout his 35 year conquest he longed constantly for the grace of martyrdom.  It was denied him – only, however, because God had other plans. In a place called Trentonia he and his disciples succeeded in destroying many idols and places of idol worship, which, as you can imagine, didn’t go over well with some of the unconverted.  They organized an attack, and the ringleader let fly his first sword-blow at St Willihad’s defenseless neck. But instead of cutting off his holy head, the sword shattered to pieces upon cutting a little string that held a necklace of relics. I imagine St Willihad sighed in disappointment for himself, but rejoiced in the salubrious effect the miracle produced on the hard-hearted pagans.

Your energy and creativity have often reminded me of the great pioneer missionaries like today’s saint, and more than once I have hoped you would make a higher priority of spreading God’s Kingdom.  I have suspected that you, like Willihad, would discover a special calling in your heart, and follow it courageously, letting God work miracles through your fidelity… But who am I to say that such work would be longer-lasting and more worthwhile than management consulting?…  Something to think about, anyway.

Your loving uncle, Eddy

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!