Q: This is silly, but it keeps coming up when I pray or meditate. When I was in sixth grade I had a nun who absolutely hated me. The students that she preferred were petite, well-kept girls. I was a tomboy and overweight. My parents were working class. This nun was super passive-aggressive and brought out the worst in me. She even pressured a friend of mine, another student, to change the spelling of her name. This kind of stress probably caused health problems in my friend. I’m 60 now, so I don’t know why this nun keeps flooding my memories. All is good. I prayed to forgive her, and to be forgiven if I did anything to offend her. But yikes, she really traumatized me! What can I do to dismiss her from my thoughts? – M.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: The short answer is to keep praying for this nun whenever she comes to mind. She might need your prayers a lot more than you realize!
(And maybe she didn’t hate you but rather had her own struggles.)
As for memories in general: It’s not unusual that childhood incidents come to mind more often as we get older. Certain incidents burrow deep in young minds; it’s hard to get rid of them.
If these memories continue to weigh you down, it might be worthwhile to seek a good therapist for at least a few sessions. There might be something more than just memories of a nun that is unsettling you.
In the meantime, praying for difficult souls from the past might help us grow in holiness, which is one way that God can bring good out of bad. Count on my prayers.
