Dear Friends,

It’s that time of year when all the memes and advertising remind us of the approaching Thanksgiving holiday, but what happens when you don’t feel grateful?

Recently, I was in a conversation with women who have had a lot of suffering in their lives, and the topic of gratitude surfaced. How does one feel grateful when the prayers they ask God for most go unanswered?

How does a woman who has been searching for her spouse feel grateful when she is the last one standing among her peers unmarried and without prospects? How does the young woman who is struggling with infertility feel grateful when she sits behind young families with multiple little ones? How about the widower who lost his wife too young and now feels empty during the sign of peace without her there to receive his hand?

Many of you reading this reflection today have unanswered prayers. And it can be hard to rejoice for those who possess what you are painfully missing. But gratitude does not have to be about what you have. Bishop Barron frequently reminds us that true love is willing the good of the other, and I might add even if that good is something that I too long for.

In moments when we see that which we are lacking, we can be grateful that our neighbor before us is not experiencing the pain we are. Our hearts can turn to the Lord and thank him that my friends have found their spouses, the family in front of me has been blessed with children…

My grandmother taught me that when I am struggling, one of the best ways to cope is to reach out and serve someone who is suffering more than I am. Gratitude then comes not from looking at my life but from looking at the lives of others. No one has lived this more than God the Father.  “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

This, really, is the ultimate Thanksgiving message. God sent his son so that through him we might gain eternal happiness. 

Yours in the Heart of Jesus,

Donna