Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Why Is It So Tough to Stop Sinning?”

Q: Even David in his great glory sinned. Even the apostles failed. Peter denied Christ three times. Some of them doubted the Resurrection even after seeing him walk on water, perform miracles (healing the blind, raising the dead). If sin is a choice, why can’t even the most faithful Christian stop sinning? Is it really that difficult to be a decent human being? You are in control of your thoughts, emotions and deeds. If it were that easy, why do people fail? Why can’t people simply make good choices? -I.O.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Your observations and questions bring to mind that quote from St. Paul, “What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate” (Romans 7:15).

The short answer to your questions could be this: Original sin has done serious damage to our human nature. It has darkened our intellects, weakened our wills, and disordered our passions.

God hasn’t given up on us, fortunately. He gives us grace to raise us up, but we need to do our part. That means we need a life of prayer, sacrifice, and a willingness to try to learn our faith better. If this seems like hard work, well, it is. But it is made easier by God’s grace.

Remember, life is a battle. The devil wants to drag us down, but Christ wants to lift us up. Christ is much more powerful than the devil, but that doesn’t mean we will glide through life. Which is why we need to commit to serious spiritual warfare.

(For more reading, see an earlier Q&A. For a helpful retreat guide on the theme, see “The Anatomy of Temptation”.)

I hope this helps. God bless.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Am I Wrong to Have Questions About the Faith?”

Q: Hello, I just went to a retreat and it opened my heart and eyes more than ever for the love of Christ. I just have so many questions about my Catholic religion and what we believe. Is it wrong of me to have questions? I personally 100% without a doubt believe in God and all that he has done for us. But I can’t help question why he would do some things such as, for example, have crime in the world, etc. But when I have those questions I immediately think, “Am I going to hell now because I doubted him?” or “Is this a sin to be curious?” because it’s not that I am doubting him, I am just curious! Thank you. –E.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Thanks for your note. It is wonderful to hear that the retreat helped open your heart to Christ. That is what our Catholic faith is all about – our relationship with Jesus.

It is good to remember that Jesus, who suffered and died for you, only wants the best for you. He has already given you so many gifts – including your life, your faith, and your intelligence.

He wants you to use your intelligence in order to understand your faith better. Thus, there is no problem in asking questions about the faith. This is how good theology begins – people of faith asking questions.

Our growth in the spiritual life can be thought of as a stroll down a path. In order to walk we need two feet – the foot of faith and the foot of reason. Faith helps us to move forward when our reason only takes us so far. But once we take the step of faith, our reason follows along and goes deeper into understanding what it is we accept in faith.

This use of reason helps us avoid the trap of fideism – a belief that faith and reason are incompatible, or that religion simply means believing things that make no sense. Nothing can be further from the truth.

God created faith and reason. Both are geared toward seeking the truth, which is why, when properly exercised, they cannot contradict each other.

So it isn’t a sin to be curious about the elements of our faith. On the contrary, God wants us to use our intelligence to understand it as best we can.

It might be worth clarifying some terms. It is OK to have a difficulty about the faith. That is normal. To doubt the faith, however, is a different thing. Doubting the faith means that we call God’s trustworthiness into question. Blessed John Henry Newman (1801-1890) famously noted, “Ten thousand difficulties do not make one doubt.” My guess is that you have difficulties, not doubts, about the faith.

To help overcome difficulties, we are blessed to have the Catechism of the Catholic Church as well as the treasury of the writings of the Church Fathers and the Popes.

Delving into the faith also takes prayer. The best theology is done on one’s knees. Having a full sacramental life and doing works of charity also open our hearts to the teachings of the Church.

For more reading see the YouCat or the Compendium of the Catechism. An audio course worth listening to is Peter Kreeft’s “Faith and Reason: The Philosophy of Religion“; your local library system might carry it.

I hope some of this helps. God bless.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Should We Pray to the Spirit Rather Than to Jesus?”

Q: Before Jesus ascended to heaven he assured us that he would not leave us comfortless, but would send the Holy Spirit as Comforter. This being the case, why is it that we still pray predominantly to Jesus, and not to the Holy Spirit? Has the Holy Spirit not taken the place of Jesus here on earth, and hence all our prayers should be directed to him only? -M.W.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: You raise good questions about the divine Person to whom we direct our prayers.

It is good to remember that each Person of the Trinity – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – is God. So, in any case, our prayers are directed to the Almighty.

Maybe a few clarifications would be helpful here. The highest form of prayer is the Mass, and the Mass is always directed toward the God the Father, through the Son and in the Holy Spirit. In that sense we can say that we pray predominantly to the Father. But even when we pray consciously to Jesus, we are still praying by the power of the Holy Spirit. It is the Spirit who helps us to pray.

Even the Sign of the Cross which opens and closes our prayers is itself a prayer — and done through the Spirit. So we pray through the Spirit all the time.

While Jesus promised at the last supper to send us the Spirit, he specifically mentioned that we should pray in his (Christ’s) name. “Whatever you ask in my name, I will do” (John 14:13). The Church took that to heart, and that is why we pray in Jesus’ name.

The promised Spirit came in a dramatic way on Pentecost. But the Spirit was already active in the Gospels long before Pentecost. The angel at the Annunciation, for example, said that the Spirit would come over the Blessed Virgin Mary (Luke 1:35). And the Spirit prompted Simeon to go the temple at the time of the Presentation (Luke 2:25-27).

But back to Jesus’ sending of the Spirit. The presence of the Spirit isn’t meant to supplant Jesus in our lives but to enrich our relationship with him. The Spirit enables us to live Jesus’ commands, to give witness of our faith, to do our part to build the Church.

And, as mentioned above, the Spirit helps us to pray. “The Spirit too comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit itself intercedes with inexpressible groaning” (Romans 8:26).

Now, none of this means that we can’t direct prayers to the Holy Spirit. In fact, the Church has long had prayers directed to the Spirit, notably the Veni Creator Spiritus, which dates to the ninth century. Even then, it is the Spirit himself who is helping us to pray.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: If God Is Testing Me so Much, What Is the Point?”

Q: I think I’m losing my faith. I no longer feel that God is there and can’t tell if he’s abandoned me entirely or if he was merely a figment of my imagination to begin with. I’ve had seven years of stalled luck. When others have had the opportunity to get their lives started, I ended up right back in my childhood bedroom. I have tried for years to land a job and have worked very hard in trying to accomplish that. The last position I formally interviewed for, I had come within a hair’s distance of getting it, only to have the executive director shelve it entirely and say they were going to hold off on hiring. Now, I feel hopeless. My family’s situation is no better as they have had trouble over the last 10 years with finances. We were good people and genuinely tried our best to be good to others. If this is a test, what’s the point? To break us entirely of happiness and spirit? I can assure you we’ve all reached rock bottom. It just doesn’t seem like something a God who truly loved us would allow. Furthermore, if he actually existed and loved us, then why would he create a hell and send suicides, gays and non-believers there? How is that love? And how does that fit in with free will? Saying to someone: I will give you the choice to either love me or go to hell, is not really giving them a choice, is it? That’s not love. That is petty and abusive. I have lost faith in politicians, formal religion and my country. God is all I had left to cling to, and now I feel I’m losing faith in him as well. Nothing anyone says seems to ignite any more feelings in me. Whenever I go to church, I feel like I’m just going through the motions. I truly wish I could be like my Muslim friends and have such strong faith in God. Almost all Catholics I know have abandoned the Church, and the new pope we have, while a media darling, has chased away the few remaining conservative Catholics I knew who now view him with suspicion as a Marxist. I don’t know what to do. Do you think another religion like Islam is the way to go, or should I explore life as an atheist for a while and see if I regain faith organically? Is there even a way to get faith back? I have asked God to give me a sign, but there have been none. I have asked for some sort of peace, but there’s been none. I just feel lost. -M.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I am sorry to hear that your faith has been so shaken by the difficulties you and your family have faced over these years.

At the start, permit me to state something that might seem to go against intuition: God loves you and your family even more than you do, and he only wants the best for you. Moreover, the fact that we have difficulty detecting his presence or understanding his ways of working is probably good evidence that he really does exist.

God doesn’t always act the way we think he should act. Nor does he send us easy signs of his presence. God is God, and he acts as he wills. He doesn’t fit easily into the box that we want to put him. As the Lord proclaims through a prophet, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways” (Isaiah 55:8).

Paradoxically, signs of God’s presence are already abundant in your life. You mention that your family “were good people.” I hope they still are good people. Just the fact that you have a good family is itself a sign of God’s favor. And without trying to minimize the real difficulties you are facing, it is good to remember that God’s display of love cannot be measured in terms of material well-being. The Blessed Virgin Mary lived poor. John the Baptist lived poor. Mother Teresa lived poor. It wouldn’t occur to us to think that God didn’t love them. He often gives spiritual riches, not material riches, to those whom he loves. I mention all this to try to give you a sense that you shouldn’t think you are abandoned because God has allowed crosses in your life.

Crosses are instruments that enable us to grow in holiness. Often those crosses are situations that push us to detach from the world, in the sense of relying more on God and allowing ourselves to live at his pace.

He has a time and place for answering our prayers. He might already be answering your prayers – not in the way you expect, but in a way that can help you detach from putting too much hope in the things of this world. This is where God can be extremely mysterious, because he seems to bring us to the edge of endurance. He even did it with his own Son, in his passion and death on a cross.

As for hell: God didn’t create hell, per se. Hell is a consequence of people having rejected God. Hell is the state of someone who turned against God and died in mortal sin. God doesn’t get any pleasure in seeing souls lost. In fact, he “wills everyone to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:4). We all have the choice to love God or reject him; there is nothing unfair about living with the consequences of our choice.

The God of Christianity is the God who revealed himself as fully as he wanted in the person of his Son, Jesus Christ. This is the Jesus who suffered and died for you and me, for our redemption. Rather than look into other religions (or even atheism), you would do better to see your Catholic faith as your relationship with Jesus – what he has revealed to you through his Church, and how you respond to his love for you. Nowadays many Catholics don’t have a sense of this relationship with Christ as being at the heart of their faith. That is why they might focus too much on the human dimensions of the Church; they are swayed by what they think of this Pope or that bishop or that politician over there.

Try to go deeper into your understanding of Christ. Read the Gospels. Focus on how he lived (poor, humble, rejected) and on whom he especially loved (the poor, the blind, the lame). It might help to look for a regular confessor or spiritual director who could accompany you in these times.

Stay close to the Blessed Virgin Mary, too. She knows how mysteriously God can act, but she knows how much he loves you.

(For more reading, see Peter Kreeft’s Making Sense Out of Suffering. You might also benefit from these retreat guides that deal with suffering: “Troubled Hearts” and “The Colors of the Cross”.)

I hope some of this helps. Count on being included in one of my Mass intentions.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Are There Untimely Deaths?”

Q: Is there such a thing as an untimely death? I have heard it mentioned many times. But if God knows when we are to die, how can a death be untimely? And if there is such a thing, could you please explain it to me? -N.B.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: The term “untimely death” usually refers to people who die relatively early in life, especially when they seem to have had a lot of potential for good.

Obviously God, who knows all of a history in a glance, is not caught unawares. He already knows that someone will die in an “untimely” way. Yet, such a death might be untimely in the sense that God’s perfect plan was for that person to have a long life; for instance, in the case of someone who ruins his life with drugs or alcohol at a young age.

From a worldly point of view, the notion of untimely death reflects a human judgment. That is, we might think that a death needlessly cut short of a life of a person who “could have done a lot more.” But maybe from God’s perspective the person already lived a full life. Maybe that person died in an elevated state of grace — he was a saint. Thus, it is hard to say when a death is really untimely. Likely we will see things with more clarity in eternity.

Given that any of us could face death at any time, it is crucial that we make the most of the time we have. Prayer, acts of charity, recourse to the sacraments – are among the things that help prepare us for the fateful day.

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!