Do I Need A Savior | A Regnum Christi Advent Retreat Guide on Isaiah with Fr. John Bartunek, LC

Do I Need a Savior?: An Advent Retreat Guide on the Prophet Isaiah

Advent and Christmas are supposed to be joyful seasons, because the thought of a new beginning can fill us with hope. We all need fresh starts in life, because we all make mistakes. Our sins and selfishness does damage to ourselves and to those around us. Christ comes with his saving grace to redeem those failures and fill us with new life. That was the situation of God’s Chosen People during the time of the prophet Isaiah, whose prophecies are read every year throughout Advent and during all the Christmas Masses. He was sent by God to strengthen their hope and nourish their joy. In this Advent Retreat Guide, Do I Need a Savior?, we will let him do the same thing for us.

  • The First Meditation will look at Isaiah’s core message and its relation to the historical situation in which he preached.
  • The Second Meditation will spend time savoring some of his favorite images and symbols, so that his message penetrates our hearts.
  • And in the Conference we will review a frequently forgotten dimension of our own Christian vocation—that each one of us is called and equipped to be a prophet.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Should I Enter the Church Secretly?”

Q: I am 15 years old. I was raised in an evangelical Protestant family. However, last year I was exposed to Catholicism through a Catholic friend, and after thorough research and lots of prayer, I came to realize that the Catholic Church was the One True Church. After asking my parents if I could convert, I was given a firm no. My mother is extremely anti-Catholic, seeing as she was raised Baptist. She shoved in my face the commandment that said, “Respect your parents,” and for a while, I accepted this commandment and decided to wait until I was 18 to enter the Church. Later that year, though, I came upon Matthew 19:29, which calls those who forsake their parents, for the sake of the Lord, “blessed.” This really made me think, why should I place respect for my parents above respect for God? Should I truly listen to them over listening to God? And I concluded that the answer was no. I guess what I’m trying to ask is, should I enter the Church secretly? And if so, how would I do this, could I approach my local priest and ask him to bring me into the Church without going through RCIA? I really want to do what is best in this situation, I long for the sacraments, especially the Eucharist. Please help me. –N.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It is wonderful to hear that you feel so drawn to the Catholic Church and that you are willing to pursue it despite the opposition from loved ones.

There is no contradiction between honoring your parents and honoring God. It’s just that God must always come first. By following him, you will actually be in a better position to love your parents, since your prayers for them could have more power.

Honoring one’s parents doesn’t mean going along with their mistakes. In this case you are old enough to make your own decisions about religion. In this case your parents’ authority is limited. This is what Jesus implied when he said that his followers should be willing to forgo parents in order to follow him (see Luke 14:26).

Now, as for entering the Church secretly, that is a more delicate issue. In principle I wouldn’t recommend doing anything momentous like entering the Church without your parents’ knowledge. They do love you and should know what you are up to, especially in big matters. Besides, to enter the Church secretly would only reinforce their mistaken idea that Catholicism is something bad, that it is “stealing their daughter.”

Moreover, your public entry into the Church would be a powerful witness of your faith. It could help and inspire others. The process of joining the Catholic Church, if undergone patiently and courageously, could even be an instrument that God uses to move your parents’ hearts in the Church’s direction.

The best thing would be to speak with a local pastor and explain your situation. He could recommend ways to proceed.

This process, out in the open, would allow you to live in peace, in the sense that you won’t be trying to live a double life at home. True, you might face continued opposition, but at least you will be honest and forthright about where you stand.

Remember, too, that if God wants you in the Church (and I’m sure he does), he will give you the grace to do it. Feel free to attend Mass. Jesus knows that you want to receive the Eucharist, and your decision to wait and follow the right steps is pleasing to him. You might also seek out a Catholic youth group who could give you support at this time.

For your continued spiritual growth you might consider using resources such as The Better Part and the online retreats at RC Spirituality.

In the meantime keep praying for your parents. Ask the Spirit to enlighten their hearts. And stay close to the Blessed Virgin Mary. She will intercede for you, her beloved daughter.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: How Do I Connect With God?”

Q: I am not sure how to have a relationship with God. How do I know it is God communicating to me? Why doesn’t God manifest himself to everyone in the world for all of us to see? –B.R.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: You raise big questions. God manifests himself to us all the time. It’s just that we fail to notice his hand at work.

Let me explain. God the Father sent his Son into the world to reveal his perfect plan for us. Thus Jesus is the height of Revelation. And we find him in the Gospels and in the Eucharist.

God also manifests himself in the beauty of the created world. Everything around us that is good is created by God. The air we breathe, the food we eat, the people we love — all were created by God. All are signs of his providential care for us.

Then there is our conscience, that inner voice that tells us to do good and avoid evil. That can be God’s way of communicating with us. (Conscience has to be well informed, but that is another issue.) Suffice it to say that we can be sure it is God communicating with us when we feel inspired to do something objectively good.

Lastly, you can simply look in the mirror. Where were you 100 years ago? You didn’t exist. I didn’t exist. Now we are here. God created us. And with the eyes of faith we can see his gifts all around us: our faith itself, our family, our health, our intelligence

But your question remains. Why doesn’t God show himself more obviously? A proper answer would require a book-length answer. Suffice it to say that God leaves just enough room for mystery to allow us space to make an act of faith in him.

God doesn’t want us to be robots, programmed to follow him. Rather, he created us to enter into a relationship with him, a friendship. And since he wants us as his friends, he doesn’t force himself on us. Rather he invites us, gently and respectfully. To accept that invitation is to make an act of faith.

Besides, if we could “prove” God’s existence, then we wouldn’t need faith. On the other hand, though, he gives us enough evidence for us to have a reasonable basis for believing in him and in his providence.

The best things in life tend not to be scientifically provable. Think of a mother’s love, or the love between a husband and wife. Things like that can’t be measured, but we know they are real. And without them life would be barren.

Perhaps it would help to pray to the Holy Spirit so that he can enlighten you about how close God is to you.

Helpful too would be to make time for prayer and a bit of Scripture reading each day. Two companion books that might help are Father John Bartunek’s The Better Part and Father Thomas Green’s Opening to God.

Include acts of charity, and you will provide fertile ground for God to communicate amply in your soul.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Did I Ruin My Husband’s Faith?”

Q: I married a Southern Baptist. We went through Pre-Cana and were married at my home parish, and originally had a lot of conversations about faith. I went to Bible studies with him at his church, and he went to Mass with me. Over the years, though, he started to be less interested in conversations. When we moved and were looking for new churches, he said he didn’t care what denomination the Protestant church was, and eventually he didn’t even care if we participated in one at all. Earlier this year, he started to try to talk me out of going to church on Sundays. Recently he told me that he identifies as agnostic. I’m worried that I had a part in destroying his faith, when we would talk and I would disagree with him on things. I asked him if I killed his faith, and he answered, “No, but Catholicism did.” He told me that being exposed to a different denomination had made him question everything he’d grown up believing, and now he thinks that if there’s no universal agreement, then maybe none of it is true. We have three young boys, and my husband said he’s considering going to church just long enough to help me watch them while they’re young, but eventually he won’t want to go anymore. I’m not sure what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. –A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I am sorry to hear about your situation. You might appreciate better now why the Catholic Church doesn’t encourage mixed marriages. It is tough enough for Catholic marriages to work; mixed marriages often face greater problems.

Nevertheless, God is still present in your life and your marriage. He is interested in you and your husband continuing to grow closer and to discover a deeper happiness — a spiritual, emotional, and intellectual intimacy that maybe neither of you thought was possible. For that to happen, you need to continue loving your husband, and to continue growing in your love for God. Working through the difficulties of this season in your marriage will be the way God’s grace touches and transforms both of you.

You asked your husband whether you killed his faith. Ultimately it is up to each person to guard the gift of faith he has been given by God.

However, your note implies that you were mixing religious practices and crossing over church lines with frequency. You would go to Bible studies at the Baptist denomination, while still attending Mass.

Baptist interpretations of Scripture can differ greatly from Catholic interpretations, and for the sake of your own faith you might have done better to avoid such biblical blending.

The crossover – Bible studies here, Mass over there – probably didn’t help clarify religious matters for your husband. In fact, it might have made things worse, abetting the doubts or indifferentism that he has come to embrace.

It might be good to encourage your husband not just to doubt passively. Rather, if he is questioning whether anything is true, he should question actively.

You can help by walking with him along that path. For example, read together one of Patrick Madrid’s four books entitled “Surprised by Truth,” which tell the stories of real people who came from various backgrounds and ended up discovering the full truth of Christianity in the Catholic Church.

Reading books like that will help your husband process what he has experienced, and it will also help you to come to know and live your own faith better. You might also want to watch our Retreat Guide on marriage, “Three Hearts”.

In the meantime you could consider focusing on basics. Be a loving wife, be a loving mother, be a faithful Catholic.

The fact that your husband is willing to hang on to at least the semblance of religious practice for the sake of your sons is a sign that he has concern for their upbringing. Deep down he might even sense that religious practice is beneficial. That is something you want to cultivate as best you can.

Your own prayer life and sacramental life are crucial now. Live your Catholic faith as fully as you can. You won’t edify your husband by halfway measures. Your own perseverance in the faith will be a fact that he can’t ignore, even if he doesn’t understand it. That will keep the issue on his radar screen. And, of course, your practice of the Catholic faith will help your children. Their own prayers could help dad, too.

As for your marriage, prepare yourself for the long haul. Your fidelity is important, “For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:14). I hope some of this helps.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Is It Better to Be Muslim Than Alone?”

Q: I have a dilemma. I am the only person in my social group and workplace that still believes in God, and I struggle with the loneliness of this. In my country (Netherlands) fewer than a quarter of the people call themselves Christian anymore, and even of those most don’t believe that God is actively intervening in our world or that Jesus was sent by God. My pastor says that heaven is a just metaphor and does not actually exist after death. Only the Muslim community seems to have true, though misguided, faith in God. How should I profess my faith without the fear of being ridiculed by my family, friends and colleagues? I work in a hospital, and the only other colleagues I know of who are religious are Muslim. I do get quite some support of them and share many of their morals. But despite this I still feel lonely in my own religion. Do you think Christianity will ever return here? According to the imam in the new mosque here, Islam names the Lord Jesus a prophet of God. Is it better to join a community that has at least a true faith in God, though it differs in some ways from my own, than to be alone in my faith? –T.U.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It must be difficult to live in a country that was once so religious but has become so secular. It sounds as if secularism has affected your pastor, too.

The best thing you can do is to stay focused on Christ and what he is asking of you. He is the Son of God, our savior and redeemer. With all due respect to our Muslim brothers, we believe Jesus is not just a prophet: He is the messiah, God made man. He founded the Church and left us the sacraments.

A good first step is to focus on your prayer life and your sacramental life. It might help to look around for a good confessor. There have to be some good parishes in the Netherlands. You might consider using social media to find other faithful Catholics with whom you can build some sense of community, even if you can only keep in contact by e-mail and prayer. This is better than nothing.

At your work-place try to live the Gospel as much as possible, through your acts of charity, your witness of pausing for prayer and, if possible, by posting or wearing some sign of your Catholic faith.

Try to find common ground with your Muslim companions. You can do this by mutually encouraging one another to put God first in your lives. Beyond that, be realistic: It isn’t easy to find common ground on a lot of religious issues. Islam has a very different outlook on God and Christ, and there is no way to reconcile our beliefs with theirs.

Still, you and they probably have things in common. So try to build on those.

It might help to do the monthly retreats we offer at RC Spirituality.

Will Christianity return to the Netherlands? The faith has a way of rising from the ashes. Possibly the problems of recent years will give people a reason to look at Christianity again. God alone knows what the future will bring.

The important thing for you, though, is not to give up on the Catholic faith. It still teaches the fullness of God’s revelation in Christ. And Christ has promised heaven to those who are faithful to him.

In the short term, God doesn’t call us to be successful; he calls us to be faithful. Your fidelity means something to Christ. Your fidelity can help sow the seeds for a revival of the faith in Europe.

Since you interact a lot with Muslims, it might be helpful to understand more about Islam. A book that might help is 111 Questions on Islam. I hope some of this helps.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: How Can I Be Noble and Generous in Spirit?”

Q: Can you help me understand the virtue of magnanimity? Is this a virtue we can actually work on? Kind regards. –C.S.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Magnanimity refers to a person’s ability to do great things without being concerned about praise or thanks. The key to this virtue is humility, to do great things (which could in practice be little acts of charity) without seeking yourself or your own aggrandizement.

In spiritual terms, it means to do everything simply for the love and glory of God and for others.

There are probably various ways to approach the practice of this. Here are a few quick suggestions.

First, treat everyone as you would Christ himself. This includes the neighbor who annoys you, the co-worker who tests your patience, the relative who seems like a thorn in the side. By treating everyone well, you purify your motives. You do it not for what it will bring you, but because it is the kind of charity that Christ invites us to practice.

Second, learn to give all your successes back to God. Thank him for the good things that happen to you. And when you get a compliment, treat it like a hot potato. Give God the glory (“It was the Holy Spirit who made that a success …”), or pass on the compliment to others (“Miss Smith was really the driving force behind the project”). Do all that, and little by little you live more in God’s presence and do things solely for him. (For more reading see Donald DeMarco’s article.)

Third, don’t shy away from a “great” idea that might come to mind, such as pursuing a priestly or consecrated vocation or starting a new apostolate. That great idea could be an inspiration from the Holy Spirit.

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!