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Youth & Family Encounter 2021: Unleash the Apostle Within!

June 27, 2019 / Weekly Message Blog

Get ready for a vibrant experience that will combine spiritual formation, a celebration of the Regnum Christi charism and training to help you go out and live your God-given mission in the world!

Since 1991, over one hundred thousand people have attended Regnum Christi Youth & Family Encounters in cities all over the world, including Rome, Sydney, Barcelona, Mexico City, and Chicago. Now, for the first time in 14 years, the YFE is back in the North American Territory!

The Youth & Family Encounter to be held July 23-25, 2021 in Atlanta, Georgia, will be a time for all Regnum Christi members to come together–Legionaries of Christ, consecrated women, consecrated men, and lay members, as well as all of their friends, family and those they touch through apostolic works and programs.

The theme, “Unleash the Apostle Within,” calls participants to answer Christ’s invitation to know and love him, and to allow his love to go out into today’s world through our lives as missionaries. It echos the missionary identity Regnum Christi members voice in their new draft statutes, “The personal experience of Christ’s love produces an interior urgency in our hearts that impels us to give of ourselves passionately in order to make his Kingdom present: ‘Caritas Christi urget nos’ (2 Cor 5:14).” (Draft Statutes of the Regnum Christi Federation #10)

During the three day event, over 2000 people will come together for a unique, deep, and joyful experience of the faith and our mission in Regnum Christi. Part retreat, part convention, part festival, the YFE will include times of prayer, formation tracks with internationally known speakers, Mass, social activities, and programs of interest to all ages and vocations including children, young adults, families, and grandparents.

A recent Youth & Family Encounter held in Mexico City gathered over 4,000 participants and featured the ordination of six legionaries of Christ to the diaconate as well as a keynote address from the bishop of Aleppo, Syria, Bishop Denys Antoine Chahda.

Space is limited to 2500 participants, so mark your calendar and be on the look-out for more details!

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If I Feel Drawn to Islam?”

June 25, 2019 / Ask a Priest

Q: I am the only Catholic in my family, and I have been in the Church for almost five years. I always sought to protect the Church and live out the faith as best as I can. However, lately I have been having an internal struggle. I identify as being a conservative both in my faith life and political life. This has had positive effects and negative effects on me. I started to become more closed-minded by listening to propaganda or one-sided media, and started to disregard those who did not agree with me. My family saw me becoming more brainwashed, and this has had an effect on how I viewed the world, particularly how I viewed Muslims. I saw them as being a sort of evil that I must protect myself and others from. However, I decided to take a step back and learn about the religion of Islam. The more I learn about it, the more I feel called to it and I feel an inner peace. I have been trying to pray about this by saying a daily rosary, going to confession more frequently, and other things, but nothing seems to be working. I know that it is a grave sin for me to leave the Church, but I do not know what I should do. Please help me, I feel lost, confused, frustrated and scared. God bless. – E.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: You mention feeling an inner peace, but then say that you feel lost, confused, frustrated and scared. All this could be a sign that the devil is around and up to his tricks. Particularly vulnerable to his tricks are people who are a bit isolated.

The fact that you are the only Catholic in your family might help to explain part of the problem. The Catholic faith, as with any system of religion, is easier to live when it is lived within a community of believers, including family. Conversely, being the lone Catholic at home can leave you feeling out of place.

And if you have been a bit isolated, it is understandable that you are given to certain extremes — at first embracing one-sided media, then exposing yourself to material that weakens your faith.

You mention that you are praying the rosary and frequenting the sacrament of confession. This is good. This is a start. It might be good to remind yourself of the power of the sacraments and of Marian devotion and ask whether you really want to give those up.

You mention “other things” that you are doing. Here I’ll have to speculate. One thing that might be missing is community-oriented activities. It might help you to get involved with volunteer projects or parish activities and to network with faithful Catholics.

You also might be in need of going deeper in what is known as mental prayer, or Christian meditation. You can learn more about that through my colleague Father John Bartunek’s book A Guide to Christian Meditation, or this short video on the “‘Four C’s’ of Christian Meditation.”

Catholicism lived well is a Catholicism that helps lift us a purely political outlook on life.

A bane of the Internet/social media age is the tendency for partisan websites and chat rooms, etc., to lure people into silos. They slip into an ideological cocoon and stop talking with people with whom they disagree. From there, positions harden. Reason suffers. And where reason wanes, faith can weaken, since the two should ideally complement each other.

Your e-mail address indicates that you at a college. If so, you might consider getting involved with the Catholic community on campus. It might sponsor Catholic speakers and even retreats that could be helpful for you.

In the meantime, recognize this pull to abandon the Catholic faith for what it is: a temptation. And one to be resisted.

Also, you might want to get a Catholic perspective on Islam. Two suggested books are Inside Islam: A Guide for Catholics and 111 Questions on Islam.

It might be helpful to find a spiritual director, too. I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers.

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“Ask a Priest: Do We Give Up Our Talents on Entering Religious Life?”

June 22, 2019 / Ask a Priest

Q: I’m thinking about a vocation. I want to be a nun really bad. I can’t imagine myself being married, and I really want to be a contemplative. But I also have a musical talent. I play music at my church, and my mom says that it is just a natural gift. I don’t know that I’d be able to utilize this gift if I become a nun. Does God give people talents just so they can offer the sacrifice of not using them? This is the question that has burned in my mind for a while. – K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It’s great to hear of your vocational interest in being a nun. It’s a beautiful way for a woman to commit herself to Our Lord.

You pose an either-or question. “Either I use my musical talent or I let it languish.” Often in the Church things are a bit more both-and.

That is, you could be a nun and use your musical talent. Music is a big part of liturgy, and it’s a special way to give praise and glory to God.

So don’t think that you would necessarily have to give up your musical talent if you joined religious life.

One of my brother priests was a medical doctor before entering religious life. He now uses his medical knowledge in the field of bioethics, which is a great service to the Church and the world. St. Hildegard, a Doctor (in the sense of “teacher”) of the Church from the 12th century, used her musical skills while being a religious. So God has a way of channeling our talents for his purposes.

For the record, though, it is worth noting two other things.

First, there is no guarantee that our specific skills will be used, or used in the way we think, if and when we enter religious life. That is for superiors to decide. The key here is that God blesses whatever we do under obedience.

Second, people who enter religious life already give up a gift: their physical fertility. Yet, in your case you could have an extremely fruitful life by being a spiritual mother to the countless souls you pray for.

In any case, it would be good to intensify your prayer life and sacramental life, and to start contacting religious congregations that might attract your attention. You might find this resource on discernment helpful: Called and Chosen: A Retreat Guide on Vocation and the Calling of St. Matthew.

And remember, God won’t be outdone in generosity. Count on my prayers.

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“Ask a Priest: What If Friends Seem to Ignore My Catholic Faith?”

June 21, 2019 / Ask a Priest

Q: I am a Catholic teenager who lives in a predominantly Protestant community. All of my friends are Protestant. We don’t talk about religion much unless it’s something we already know we agree on. We are incredibly close, but my friends don’t seem to remember a lot of the time lately that I’m Catholic. The most recent thing that’s happened is that my best friend and her sister are going to Ecuador on a mission trip because, as they say, “Most people there don’t have a personal relationship with God.” Ecuador is predominantly Catholic, but they have asked us for money so they can go over and try to make people Protestants. This isn’t the first time this has happened, and it hurts my feeling quite a bit; firstly, because they think that way of my faith, and secondly, because it didn’t even occur to them that this would be hurtful to me. I want to deal with this lovingly. Do you have any suggestions? Thank you. – R.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It is good that your friends seem to have a love for Christ and that they have a desire to help others to have a personal relationship with God.

The key to understanding your difficulty with your friends might be found in your e-mail. You write, “We don’t talk about religion much unless it’s something we already know we agree on.” Maybe that is a source of the problem.

By only talking about things that you and your friends agree on, you are probably keeping quiet about things that distinguish the Catholic faith from Protestant beliefs.

If that is the case, it is understandable that your friends would either forget about your Catholicism or fail to see any real differences between your faith and theirs. Your friendships might be built on the common ground of a less-than-full-strength Christianity.

By this I don’t mean to disparage the faith of your friends. Their faith could be strong and sincere. Nevertheless, Protestantism overlooks some of the great treasures that Christ intends for his followers to take advantage of. These treasures include the sacraments of confession and the Eucharist; the magisterium, or teaching authority, of the Church; and the special help of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

From what you describe, you seem to be keeping low-key about your Catholic beliefs in the hopes of fitting in with your pals. It is no wonder that they assume they can ask you to support endeavors that would, in effect, undercut the Catholic faith of other people, such as those in Ecuador.

To repeat: it’s quite likely that your friends are sincere in their faith. And they probably mean no offense to you. They have simply discounted your Catholic faith and are moving ahead with what they think is a wholesome form of evangelization.

So, what might you do?

First, you might ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. Ask him to strengthen you so that you share the Catholic faith with your friends.

If you are worried about alienating them, then you might ask yourself how genuine the friendships are. Real friends want the best for each other. Real friends can accept each other for who they are.

If you believe Catholicism is the fullest expression of what Christ wants for us, why not share that with your friends? And if your friends only accept you so long as you keep your Catholicism low-key, what does that tell you?

Before sharing the faith, you might want to read up on it more. There are lots of practical books that could prepare you to speak about the faith, among them The Essential Catholic Survival Guide. A further list of helpful books could be found at https://www.catholic.com/tract/apologists-bookshelf.

If sharing your Catholic faith with your friends leads to tensions and breakups, then it might be a moment to move on and look for other friends.

Depending on your locale, this might take a special effort. You might seek out Catholic friends through Church activities such as volunteer work. Or you might look to get involved in Catholic works of evangelization, such as Regnum Christi’s Mission Youth program.

Your Protestant friends obviously aren’t bashful about sharing their faith abroad. That is a lesson to be imitated, abroad as well as close to home.

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The Sacred Heart of Jesus Novena

June 19, 2019 / Weekly Message Blog

The Sacred Heart of Jesus novena begins today. During these nine days we invite you to discover the magnificence of his love and to let yourself be renewed by Him.

To the members and friends of Regnum Christi, we also invite you to accept our general directors’ proposal to celebrate the next Solemnity of the Sacred Heart, June 28, 2019, in thanksgiving for the establishment of the Regnum Christi Federation and the approval of its Statutes.

Day 1 He loved us first

“His self-sacrifice on the cross is so great that we can never repay it, but only receive it with immense gratitude and with the joy of being more greatly loved than we could ever imagine.” –Christus Vivit 121

Today let us contemplate the gratuitous and undeserved love that Sacred Heart of Jesus has for us, a heart that’s in love, always young—a Heart that renews the hearts of men, of the Church, of Regnum Christi … of all those who let themselves be touched by Him.

Act of Consecration to the Sacred Heart

Day 2 He loved us until the end

“Christ, out of love, sacrificed himself completely in order to save you. His outstretched arms on the cross are the most telling sign that he is a friend who is willing to stop at nothing.” –Christus Vivit 118

“The same Christ who saved us from our sins by his cross today continues to save and redeem us by the power of his total self-surrender. Look at his cross, cling to him, let him save you, for ‘those who accept his offer of salvation are set free from sin, sorrow, inner emptiness and loneliness.’ ” –Evangelii Gaudium 1, Christus Vivit 119

Act of Consecration to the Sacred Heart

Day 3 A love that does not humiliate or enslave

“His is a love that does not overwhelm or oppress, cast aside or reduce to silence, humiliate or domineer. It is the love of the Lord, a daily, discreet and respectful love; a love that is free and freeing, a love that heals and raises up. The love of the Lord has to do more with raising up than knocking down, with reconciling than forbidding, with offering new changes than condemning, with the future than the past.” –Christus Vivit 116

The heart of Jesus is meek, humble and merciful. Let yourself be conquered by his love. Rest in his arms and let him fill you with his gentleness and kindness.

Act of Consecration to the Sacred Heart

Day 4 The love of the Lord is greater than all of our paltry concerns

“Yet it is precisely through our problems, frailties and flaws that he wants to write this love story. He embraced the prodigal son, he embraced Peter after his denials, and he always, always, always embraces us after every fall, helping us to rise and get back on our feet.” –Christus Vivit 120

Sacred Heart of Jesus, give us humble hearts that do not fear to approach your heart so that you can heal their wounds because your grace is able to enter through our brokenness. May your patience and kindness always encourage us to return to you, to rise from our falls, and renew our lives.

Act of Consecration to the Sacred Heart

Day 5 Christ lives and wants you to be alive

“Christ is alive! He is our hope, and in a wonderful way he brings youth to our world, and everything he touches becomes young, new, full of life.” –Christus Vivit 1

“Jesus, God incarnate, has a human heart that beats with love for all people and fills the Church with life. Let yourself be touched by Him! Cling to Him! Let him be your way, your truth and your life.” -John 14:6

Act of Consecration to the Sacred Heart

Day 6 Look at the open arms of Christ crucified, let yourself be saved again and again

“And when you go to confess your sins, believe firmly in his mercy which frees you of your guilt. Contemplate his blood poured out with such great love, and let yourself be cleansed by it. In this way, you can be reborn ever anew.” –Christus Vivit 123

From the open heart of Christ spring forth the blood of the new covenant—poured out for our salvation, and the water of baptism. Let us immerse ourselves in Christ, the font of living water, to quench the thirst of our hearts and reach eternal life.

Act of Consecration to the Sacred Heart

Day 7 Mary shines in the heart of the Church

“She is the supreme model for a youthful Church that seeks to follow Christ with enthusiasm and docility (...) From her, we learn how to say ‘yes’ to the stubborn endurance and creativity of those who, undaunted, are ever ready to start over again.” –Christus Vivit 43, 45

Let us ask Mary, the woman of the “yes” to support us and accompany us, and that like her, we will always have a soul available to welcome the Will of God.

Act of Consecration to the Sacred Heart

Day 8 Evil does not have the last word. Christ has conquered it.

“Evil does not have the last word. Nor will it have the last word in your life, for you have a friend who loves you and wants to triumph in you. Your Savior lives.” –Christus Vivit 126

The cross is the throne of love from which the Sacred Heart reigns. On it, the supreme sacrifice of love was consummated, in which God, being everything, was made nothing for us. On it, good was victorious over sin and life over death. Rejoice today with the triumphant Jesus and let him be the one who has the last word in your life.

Act of Consecration to the Sacred Heart

Day 9 See how they love one another

“The Holy Spirit fills the heart of the risen Christ and then flows over into your lives. When you receive the Spirit, he draws you ever more deeply into the heart of Christ, so that you can grow in his love, his life and his power.” –Christus Vivit 130

“True youth is having a heart capable of love. Jesus, himself eternally young, wants to give us hearts that are forever young.” –Christus Vivit 13

“Let us pray that the fire of the Holy Spirit renew our hearts by clothing them them in love, which is the bond of perfection.” -Colossians 3:14

Prayer to Say Each Day

ACT OF CONSECRATION TO THE SACRED HEART

Oh, Jesus! I consecrate my heart to you. Place it in yours because I want to live only in your heart, and I want to love it alone. In your Heart I want to live detached from the world and attached to You. In your Heart I will find strength, light, warmth and true consolation. When my heart is weak, yours will revive me; when restless and troubled, your Heart will calm me.

Oh Heart of Jesus! Make my heart the altar of your love; may my tongue proclaim your kindness, may my eyes always be fixed on you; may my spirit meditate on your wonderful perfections; may my memory always preserve the precious recollection of your mercies; O Jesus, may everything in me express my love for your Heart, and may my heart be always ready to sacrifice everything for You.

O Heart of Mary, the most kind, most compassionate, most merciful of all hearts after that of Jesus, present my consecration, my love, and my resolutions to your Son. He will be moved at the sight of so many miseries and will free me from them. And, after having been my refuge and my protector on earth, O Mother of Jesus, you will be my Queen in Heaven. Amen.

Sacred Heart of Jesus!

I trust in you!

Oh Sweet Heart of Mary!

Be my salvation!

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“Ask a Priest: I Never Hear From Our Former Parish Priest – Is That Normal?”

June 18, 2019 / Ask a Priest

Q: Is it normal that a priest not keep in touch when he leaves a parish and is transferred to another parish? I did many projects for this priest, and we communicated almost every day for two years. He took us out to dinner and had us to the rectory for dinners and came to our home for dinner. I went to spiritual direction to him for a few years. It is very painful, his complete detachment. He was in a very difficult situation when he came to this parish, with many parishioners leaving because of his traditional ways. I liked the way he did things and publicly backed him and endured much suffering as a result. It seems so heartless the way this has gone. His new parish is only an hour away. I would appreciate any insight you can give me. It is very difficult not to feel used. – E.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It is possible that the priest is absorbed with work in his new parish. He has a new flock now, and he needs to give priority to them.

This is part of the life of priests: They work in one vineyard, and then, when obedience requires it, they move on to another.

Even Jesus moved on when people wanted him to stay with them. “‘Everyone is looking for you.’ He told them, ‘Let us go on to the nearby villages that I may preach there also. For this purpose have I come’” (Mark 1:37-38).

It is possible that the priest was able to give you and your parish the attention he did, precisely because he had detached from his previous parish.

At any rate, it is Christ who is ultimately working through priests. One of the best things that priests can do is to bring people closer to Our Lord. Perhaps that is what the priest desired: to bring you closer to Jesus, not to himself.

Part of the legacy that the priest left in your parish is you, with your deeper formation in the faith. Now is the moment to share with others what you learned with the help of that priest.

When you feel resentment or confusion about the priest’s silence, it might help to turn your mind to a more supernatural viewpoint, for example, by saying a prayer of thanksgiving to God for the good that this priest did in your parish and in your life while he was there.

You might want to pray for him in his own assignment, and leave the rest in God’s hands. I’m sure that the priest never meant to use you. If he was as traditional as you suggest, his first focus likely was, and is, on building the Kingdom.

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“Ask a Priest: Should I Try to Make a Lot of Money to Help the Poor?”

June 14, 2019 / Ask a Priest

Q: I’ve been thinking about the vow of poverty lately. I am able to become wealthy, that’s what I’ve studied for all my life. I’m getting to an age where I realize how money works as a result of studying it. I came across something else though recently, and as a result I now believe that the reason developed countries are wealthy, and undeveloped countries are not, is a result of our enslaving undeveloped countries. This leads me to believe that our way of life is unsustainable without slavery. The prices of things here, in the U.S., that are produced abroad are not reflective of anywhere near fairness. I don’t want to use anything anymore. Now, I don’t want to ever buy anything anymore. I want this to stop! I need advice. Should I attempt to make money to try to make a positive change in the world, or should I abandon that ambition and just be poor? This is really pressing on me. – Liz

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: For the sake of simplicity it might be better to leave aside discussion of the reasons for underdevelopment in the world. You might, however, find a video instructive and stimulating in that regard; it is at http://www.povertycure.org/.

Now, rather than trying to decide between making a lot of money to make a positive change, or “just being poor,” it might be better to shift your attention.

God has given you certain gifts: your life, education, intelligence, health, etc. You, like the rest of us, are called to become a saint. All of us are called to use our talents for the glory of God and the good of our neighbor.

The key to doing this, in your case, is to try to discern where the Holy Spirit is leading you. Discernment can be a tough task; it is certainly an ongoing task throughout life. The question, What does God want of me?, is not always easy to answer.

Perhaps you could step back, look at your talents and interests, and see how you might use them in a way that helps others. This could lead you to a path where you happen to make a lot of money, or maybe it leads you to a path of relative austerity.

In other words, money should be a very secondary consideration. Life is short, after all. St. John Paul II and St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta didn’t worry about money.

And money itself can be a temptation. This isn’t to disparage it totally; many wealthy people contribute a lot to the poor.

But again, the key is: what is God asking of you? Here, it helps to have an intense prayer life and sacramental life. A spiritual director and/or regular confessor would be helpful, too. And if you are not used to engaging in daily personal prayer, you might find this video useful, as well as the book A Quiet Place, to help get yourself started.

If you are embarking on a new stage of life, or are at that point where you are making big decisions about the path to follow, you might consider doing a retreat. Spending a few days in silence and intense prayer can give you time to go deep into what the Spirit is asking of you.

As a suggestion, I could point you toward a Regnum Christi retreat. You might be able to find a convenient one at http://www.regnumchristi.org/en/retreats/.

I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers.

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The Regnum Christi Federation Receives Statutes Approval

June 12, 2019 / Press Release, Weekly Message Blog

Prot. DG-RC 0180-2019

Clas. I.1.1

Rome, June 11, 2019

To the members of Regnum Christi

Dear Friends in Christ,

It is with great joy that we write this letter to inform you that today we received from the Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life (CICLSAL) the decree establishing the Regnum Christi Federation and approving its Statutes. The letter and the decree, which are enclosed, bear the date of May 31^st, the feast of the Visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary, with whom we intone our own Magnificat. We thank God for all that he has done for us, we thank the Church for her guidance through the competent dicastery of the Holy See, and we thank the pontifical assistant that was assigned to us, Father Gianfranco Ghirlanda, SJ.

This approval closes an important stage in our history. In these years, we have sought to understand more deeply the identity of Regnum Christi in order to find a canonical structure that helps us safeguard the spirit and live the mission that springs from our charism. The pontifical approval of the Regnum Christi Federation is a confirmation of our discernment and of the Statutes as a valid instrument to give continuity and a new projection to God’s plan for our spiritual family.

We would like to take this opportunity to also thank the thousands of Regnum Christi members who, according to their diverse vocations and as an expression of their co-responsibility, have contributed with their prayers, their ideas and their initiatives to make possible what we are today. The path has been a challenge, sometimes with difficulties and tensions, but it has resulted in this step that is not the personal achievement of one person but the joint effort of all, seeking to be docile to the Holy Spirit.

As you can see, in the enclosed final text of the Statutes, the changes introduced by the CICLSAL refer mainly to technical terminology (in the statutory text, the term “branches of the Federation” was replaced by “federated institutions”) and to the simplification of the rules regarding the government—moving the numbers that delineate the territorial and local government to another legislative code of the Federation, without taking away from their validity. In addition, some numbers were adjusted to ensure that the section “The Authority in the Federation” fully respects all the canonical competencies that belong to the federated institutions. Finally, regarding the length of the section “The Spiritual Foundations of the Regnum Christi Federation,” the CICLSAL has approved keeping numbers 6 to 26 as they had been voted on by the Assemblies and by the General Chapter in December 2018.

After having consulted the secretary of the CICLSAL, we decided to set September 15, 2019, as the date that the Statutes of the Regnum Christi Federation will go into effect. In the coming weeks, we will continue to prepare to set up the new governing bodies and their work teams. In addition, we will work on the General Regulations of the Regnum Christi Federation that will include the numbers about the territorial and local authorities, according to the texts approved in December, as well as other applicable norms and support materials for the understanding and dissemination of the Statutes.

The Rule of Life of the Lay Faithful Associated in the Regnum Christi Federation, approved by the extraordinary General Assembly of 2018, will also go into effect on September 15, 2019, with due editorial adjustments according to the definitive version of the Statutes. We also enclose this Rule of Life so that it can be utilized as a study text as well as used in the summer training activities.

We join with the hope that Archbishop José Rodríguez Carballo, OFM, expresses in his letter and we ask God that this “new structure of communion contributes to promote and deepen the common charism and to favor collaboration” in view of the mission that the Church has entrusted us. We invite you all to celebrate the next Solemnity of the Sacred Heart (Friday, June 28, 2019) in thanksgiving for the constitution of the Regnum Christi Federation and the approval of its Statutes. On the occasion of the Solemnity of Christ the King, on November 24, 2019, in all localities we will renew spiritually our belonging to Regnum Christi and our commitment to “make present the Kingdom of Christ in the heart of men and in society” (EFRC 7).

Christ our King, thy kingdom come!

Fr. Eduardo Robles-Gil, LC

General Director of the Congregation of the Legionaries of Christ

Gloria Rodríguez Díaz

General Director of the Society of Apostolic Life of the Consecrated

Women of Regnum Christi

Dr. Jorge López González

General Director of the Society of Apostolic Life of the Consecrated Lay

Men of Regnum Christi

*Enclosures:

Decree of Establishment of the Federation of Regnum Christi and the Approval of its Statutes (English) (Spanish)
Letter from Archbishop José Rodríguez Carballo, OFM, Secretary of CICLSAL (English) (Spanish)
Approved text of the Statutes of the Regnum Christi Federation (English) (Spanish)
Text of the Rule of Life of the associated faithful of Regnum Christi (English) (Spanish)
Original Letter (Spanish)
Original Letter (English Translation)

*The above enclosures are being translated into English and will be distributed when available. We apologize for the delay.

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“Ask a Priest: What If Politics Is Straining My Marriage?”

June 11, 2019 / Ask a Priest

Q: My wife and I are experiencing some rather serious differences with regard to our political discussions. I subscribe to a more conservative viewpoint, and she is more liberal. Our political discussions are infrequent, but we tend to be firm in supporting our respective convictions. We do not say anything hurtful, but there is a definite underlying anger whenever we engage in these discussions. Today, my wife informed me, “Don’t you ever defend that horrible man to me. He is against women, a rapist, and against the MeToo movement. In fact, if you agree with him, then I’m not sure I want to …” We both know the end of that sentence – unspoken – was, “… stay married to you.” We have been married 32 years. If she is now serious about ending our marriage because of these differences, then I am really at a loss in how to handle this situation. Of course, I do not support any discriminatory actions against anyone, and I have told her so before. But it seems I am guilty by association here. So, this distance between us grows. Any advice/prayers you could afford me would be appreciated. – T.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately it’s becoming more common nowadays: Political differences are putting severe strains on marriages and friendships.

It’s good to remember who the real culprit is here. It’s the devil, lurking in the background and trying to stir up problems in your marriage. Marital love is an icon of the love of the Triune God within himself, so it’s a special target of the evil one.

Perhaps a few suggestions might help.

First, it’s a good time to intensify your prayers and sacrifices for your wife. Part of your mission is to help her get to heaven. Here you can also rely on your grace of state. The sacrament of marriage brings a special help for couples in times of troubles.

Second, if politics is causing problems, maybe it’s better to avoid the topic for now. Try to focus instead on the things that unite you as a couple — your faith, your extended family, your own past as a couple. You might think about getting involved in things that you both agree on, such as volunteer work to help the poor or the elderly.

Third, if the political talk arises again, you might try to address your wife’s individual points. Without debating the merits (or lack thereof) of a politician, you might ask your wife if she thinks that you have shown disrespect to her. If asked the right way, it might prompt her to examine her own statement and to help her see the implications of her statement. Does she really think you support rapists?

Perhaps there is something deeper going on here. Your wife might be embracing a kind of take-no-prisoners politics as a way of exerting her identity.

Here, it might help to try to put yourself in her shoes. The news is full of men who have exploited women. This understandably has stoked the fires of painful memories and resentments in regard to ages-old mistreatment of women by men.

This is a moment when you want to reassure your wife of your love and respect for her. You might tell her what she has meant to you and how grateful you are for her in your life.

Again, there is a grace of state you can rely on. So move ahead with confidence.

Ask your wife’s guardian angel to help her, too.

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Alex Kucera

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