Q: Do we have to connect with others? I’m very anti-social and haven’t hung out with anyone in nearly a year. I really don’t like hanging out with people. I prefer to be alone with just me and Christ. Hebrews 10:24-25 encourages us to connect, and we see it multiple times throughout the Bible that we should help one another out with faith. But is it bad if we don’t? Like I still give to those in need, spread the Gospel and help others whenever I can, but when it comes to socializing, I prefer very much not to. — Nickolas
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:
The answer to your question depends somewhat on how you define your terms.
If by spreading the Gospel you mean sharing your faith with others and engaging them in dialogue, that’s good.
If by helping others you mean doing acts of charity and donating to the poor, etc., that’s good too.
And if by avoiding “socializing” you mean that you don’t like to spend your time in frivolous or unhealthy activities — such as constantly seeking low-brow entertainment (movies, video games) or partying — then that also has merit.
Another factor is what you spend your time doing. Are you reading serious books? Dedicating ample time to prayer? Developing your talents?
Now, it’s one thing to be a naturally reserved person.
But if you haven’t hung out with anyone in a year, that isn’t healthy. I’m guessing that you are starting about activities apart from spreading the Gospel and helping others.
We are social beings by nature. We come into the world and are raised by a family. Being in relations helps us to learn about others and about ourselves. Healthy socializing helps us from becoming too self-centered.
It would be good to develop your tendency to help others and to share the Gospel as the opportunity arises.
It might help to get involved in some kind of steady volunteer work or some kind of Catholic group in your area, such as the Knights of Columbus or a young adults circle whose activities include Bible studies or pro-life work.
Having a network of Catholic friends and acquaintances can improve your chances of living your faith fully while avoiding the risk of isolating yourself from the world.
True, dealing with other people isn’t always easy, but the alternative can be worse.
Be sure to cultivate your prayer life and sacramental life and seek out a solid, regular confessor.
Count on my prayers.
