Q: I found a strange thing in the past six to seven years in my life. When I was cold toward the faith, even to the point when I sin, even grave sin, I was all right in my life. But when I began to repent and turn to God, many bad things happened — my life would get out of control. I am very confused. It seems God helps me when I sin but sets many obstacles when I repent. Any thoughts? – A.M.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: When you are living in grave sin, life really isn’t “all right.”
It might be that your conscience is weak. Or maybe the devil is glad to let you swim in your sin and won’t disturb the waters.
When you try to move closer to God, the devil might shift tactics to get you discouraged and distracted.
It could also be that God is allowing these difficulties in your life as a way of purifying your motives.
It’s easy to follow God when everything feels effortless. It’s harder when we face challenges.
If you feel the desire to repent and convert, that is a great grace. You want to make the most of that grace.
Try to find a solid confessor or spiritual guide who can help you navigate the area of conscience and morals and openness to God and his love.
For now, make daily prayer a priority. And count on my prayers.
