Q: I was born to a mother from a strong Catholic family and a father whose parents were Missouri Synod Lutherans. I was baptized as a baby in that Lutheran church, but then my parents joined an awful “prosperity gospel” house church, and I was raised in that context. It turned me off to Christianity, and I ended up converting to Judaism. Years later I left that faith and have just seen myself as a pagan or agnostic or something since. Recently though, through doing family research and getting closer to extended family members who are Irish Catholics, and through exposure to Catholic spiritual spaces through my daughter’s participation as a student in a Catholic college, I have been feeling a connection to elements of Catholic spirituality. I am not sure what to do with that. I have a hard time believing a lot of the dogma/theology, but the contemplative and prayerful practices seem incredibly soothing to me. I am not sure what to do about it, what it means, or if this is a common thing you see. Anyway, I just thought it would be interesting to see if anyone had thoughts on this. Thanks for your time. – T.S.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: It sounds as though you are receiving a great grace from God.
You are on a spiritual journey, and like a lot of journeys, it takes a while before the destination starts to appear on the horizon.
My suggestion is to follow your interest in the contemplative and prayerful practices that attract you.
Dedicate time to prayer, and the Holy Spirit can use them to bring you in the direction he wants.
For it is the Holy Spirit who enlightens and leads a soul. Prayer is an experience of God, and the most important first step is to ask the Almighty to guide you and to be aware that if certain means (like Catholic spirituality) are resonating, that might be the direction you should go.
Two book suggestions that might help with prayer are Opening to God and The Better Part.
Catholicism is deep and broad, and it has lots of treasures to attract people. Down the road, if you are more interested in the faith, you try reading other books.
Some worth a look include Surprised by Truth, by Patrick Madrid; Why We’re Catholic, by Trent Horn; Theology and Sanity and Theology for Beginners, both by Frank Sheed; and The Case for Jesus, by Brant Pitre.
You could also browse the Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church online.
Above all, read the Gospels. Get to know the person of Jesus Christ better. And count on my prayers.
