“Ask a Priest: What If My Husband Thinks I’m Preaching at Him?”

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest
Q: What if my husband, who is Catholic, doesn’t want me to talk about God or Jesus, because he thinks I’m preaching? I had an encounter with God when I was 30, and I really want to speak up more about Jesus, because I feel as though I have failed him in the past. My husband, I feel, needs to hear what I have to say. – M.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It’s one thing to evangelize the world. It’s another to evangelize one’s spouse.

If your husband thinks you are coming across as “preaching,” that might be a signal to step back and rethink your approach.

You might want to focus more on preaching by example: your charity, your patience, your gentleness. All these elements will help to draw your husband closer to the faith. And of course, you could intensify your prayers and sacrifices for him. The more you love him as Christ wants you to love him, the more open his heart will become to encountering Christ.

Here is how the Bible puts it: “Likewise, you wives should be subordinate to your husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives’ conduct when they observe your reverent and chaste behavior” (1 Peter 3:1-2).

What can happen is that couples marry when they are lukewarm in the faith. Later, one spouse has a deep conversion and feels, understandably, the need to share the faith with the other spouse. But the spouse might not be at the same point in the spiritual life.

So this is where the fervent spouse might need to shift gears and try a subtler, less aggressive route to win over the spouse.

I say “win over” as a matter of speaking. Conversion is a gift of grace, not persuasion. It is really the Holy Spirit who will win over your husband. The Spirit works gently in souls, and he has his own timetable.

In the meantime it might help to look for channels outside the home for your evangelical drive. There might be things you can do in the parish or diocese, such as Bible studies, CCD programs, and theology of the body classes.

Stay close to the Blessed Virgin Mary. She will intercede for you and your husband.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

Have a question?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time.

Ask A Catholic Priest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use.  You can ask about anything: liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events. Our goal is to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

Need an answer?

Be in the know

Sign up to receive the latest questions and answers by email biweekly.

Have a Question about the Faith? Get the answer here!

Scroll to Top

Ask a Priest a Question

Please note:

Questions regarding details of abuse of minors or vulnerable adults (including pornography) could be the subject of a mandated report to civil authorities. Mandated reporters are persons identified by law who have an obligation to report suspected child abuse and neglect. 

Sign Up to Receive Ask A Priest

* indicates required

Looking for another country?

RC Near You

News & Resources

News & Resources

The Regnum Christi Mission

The Regnum Christi Identity

Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!