“Ask a Priest: What If It Seems Prayer Doesn’t Always Work?”

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest
Q: I am deeply fascinated by the idea of prayer but don’t seem to understand it. I have been brought up to pray, but there are certain things that lead me to doubt that prayer “works.” Firstly, I don’t understand how prayer sometimes doesn’t even work. For example, what if I prayed for the safety of a little child, but the child suddenly dies? Nothing good comes from it, and my prayer didn’t really do anything. It just seems random compared to God actively listening to our prayers. – Kevin

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Good prayer is never wasted. God always hears us. It’s just that sometimes his answer is not what we expect.

We might pray for something, but God might want to give us something better.

In the case of something that seems tragic, such as the death of a child, God might have allowed that because he wanted to draw that child to his bosom sooner than later. A baptized child would already be enjoying heaven. Who would want to take that away from the child?

Then, too, the child’s death might have prompted someone to return to confession, or perhaps it caused family members to end a long-running quarrel and reunite. Thus can God bring something good out of bad.

It’s good to remember, too, that prayer has to be done in the right frame of mind. Sometimes we might take up prayer as though we were approaching a vending machine. We put in our coins (prayers) and we expect the candy bar to pop out.

But God doesn’t work like that. He prefers prayer that is humble and heartfelt and not presumptuous.

Prayer is, in part, to remind us that we are mere creatures who owe everything to God. It shouldn’t be just a means for our getting what we want when we want it. Prayer isn’t a kind of spiritual Amazon.com.

The fact that God doesn’t always seem to respond in the way we want and in the time we want, is a good sign that he is really up there. God doesn’t act in the way we always want. He acts as he wants. He is in charge.

So don’t give up on prayer. Prayer will shape you as a person. Little by little you will learn to accept God on his terms, not yours.

For more reading you might try A Quiet Place: How Daily Pray Can Change Your Life and Opening to God. Also helpful (and hefty) is Part Four of the Catechism. As you pray, so shall you live.

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!