Q: When things don’t go the way I hope they will (such as failing a class even when I try very hard), or when I feel distant from God, I often feel a temptation to deliberately sin (not against others, more against God’s law, such as lately dwelling on the idea of using tarot cards) just to provoke him or get his attention. So far, I haven’t actually done this, but I’m concerned that I might. Do you have any advice on how I might be able to deal healthily with this and resist sinning, instead of dwelling on and risking sinning, and also on how to persevere and stay faithful and keep hope that God is good even when things are not improving? Thank you, Father. — Emma
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: It’s good to remember that God only wants your happiness and holiness.
If he allows difficulties in your life, it’s because he can bring something good out of them.
Failing a class can be a motivation for us to study harder, plan more systematically, or just be humbler.
You can be sure that God is close to you and knows what you are going through. You don’t need to get his attention; you as his beloved daughter already have it. Perhaps Our Lord wants you to show more patience and confidence in him.
It wouldn’t be a good idea to fool around with tarot cards. It could bring on some nasty problems.
The last thing you want to do is open a door to let the devil in your life. He proves to be a very disruptive guest.
What would be good is to start praying for an increase in faith and hope. Try to give thanks to God for one particular gift a day: your family, your health, your country, the food on your table.
Cultivating a spirit of gratitude will help you recall how much God showers his graces on you. This is a God who loves you dearly.
And stay close to the Blessed Virgin Mary through the rosary. She will intercede for you. Make use of the sacrament of confession, too; it’s a great source of grace. Count on my prayers.
