“Ask a Priest: What If I Never Felt Connected With the Church?”

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest
Q: My mother is a Baptist convert to Catholicism. My father no longer practices Catholicism and is now some manner of evangelical Protestant. Growing up, I was raised in the Church until about age 13, and then my parents divorced. After the divorce, I mostly lived with my mother, but we moved and never really developed any connection to a church community. We went to random Catholic churches on Sunday, and as a kid I was never involved in Catholicism beyond Mass. My confirmation consisted of basically being home-schooled from the catechism by my mom and then being confirmed in a totally different part of the state by a priest related to my mother. After confirmation I had almost no personal interaction with the Church, and to make things more confusing, my mother sent me to a private Protestant school with really pronounced religious education. I feel tremendous guilt for my lack of any real faith to speak of, but my messy upbringing left me with a lot of theological and philosophical inconsistencies, and I’m not sure what to make of any of it. Now I am in my 20s and kind of outside the Church but also feeling as though I was never in the Church to start with. – A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I’m sorry to hear about your family situation. It is understandable that you feel disconnected from the Church, having moved around a lot and having parents with diverse religious practices.

If you were baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, you are certainly considered part of the Church. The Church considers you a beloved son. And even though you might not feel connected to God, God is definitely interested in helping you develop a relationship with him. In fact, your own sense of dissatisfaction with your current spiritual state is probably a kind of nudge from the Holy Spirit, deep in your soul, inviting you to take some steps toward a deeper encounter with the Lord: “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8).

It sounds as though it would help you a lot to try to learn more about the faith and to come back to the sacraments and Mass attendance on a regular basis. Jesus gives us the sacraments to help us on our journey through life.

Maybe a few suggestions would help you right now.

First, it would be good to try to find a parish or, if you are in college, a Catholic center where you can attend Mass and speak with the pastor or chaplain. It helps enormously if to live the faith within a community.

Second, it might help to join an RCIA or some other kind of group where you could learn more about the faith. A Catholic should keep studying about the faith throughout the whole of life.

A few books might help here. Among them: Youth Catechism (or YouCat); Surprised by Truth; The Case for Catholicism; and Theology and Sanity.

Third, it might help to try to network with other young Catholics, perhaps through volunteer work. This builds community life and can put you in the company of people who are serious about their faith.

Fourth, it would be helpful to dedicate time each day to prayer and a bit of Scripture reading. At the heart of the Catholic faith is Jesus, the Son of God who suffered and died for our redemption. You want to get to know him through the Gospels and to speak to him in prayer. He is your best friend.

A book that might help you “pray” the Gospels is The Better Part

And stay close to the Blessed Virgin Mary through the rosary. She will guide you.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

Have a question?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time.

Ask A Catholic Priest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use.  You can ask about anything: liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events. Our goal is to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

Need an answer?

Be in the know

Sign up to receive the latest questions and answers by email biweekly.

Have a Question about the Faith? Get the answer here!

Scroll to Top

Ask a Priest a Question

Please note:

Questions regarding details of abuse of minors or vulnerable adults (including pornography) could be the subject of a mandated report to civil authorities. Mandated reporters are persons identified by law who have an obligation to report suspected child abuse and neglect. 

Sign Up to Receive Ask A Priest

* indicates required

Looking for another country?

RC Near You

News & Resources

News & Resources

The Regnum Christi Mission

The Regnum Christi Identity

Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!