Q: I have been Catholic my whole life and I’m starting to question it, but I don’t want to, I’m just so lost. I feel like I don’t know enough about Catholicism to continue being a Catholic if that makes sense. I asked myself, am I Catholic because of the aesthetic and comfort? Or am I fully devoted to it? I realized I sin over and over again and I know I’m doing it, which is obviously extremely bad. I repent, but then I do it again, or while I repent, I know deep in my heart I will do it again. I hate that I have become accepting of my reoccurring sins. I feel like I’m a lost cause now. The reason I question my faith is, do I want to keep living a life knowing I will go to hell according to the Bible? I have way too much guilt to even process, it’s buried deep inside my heart and I don’t have the strength to face it. I know God is a loving and forgiving God, but what if I’ve gone too far? What am I to do? Thank you. – G.W.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: Where there is life, there is hope. Any feelings of discouragement you have aren’t coming from heaven.
The fact that you are asking about your situation is a sign that you aren’t a lost cause. You still show signs of a conscience and are humble enough to acknowledge your weaknesses and need for help.
The good news is that humility is a crucial steppingstone toward repentance and finding happiness.
It’s good to mention at the start that God loves you dearly. He sent his Son into the world to redeem you and the rest of us. God knows our weakness, and he is ready to help us.
Without knowing more about your situation, however, I can only offer some general observations.
You mention your acceptance of recurring sins. Here you might want to reflect on where your sins have led you.
Have they made you happy? Obviously not. Do you realize that the price of sin was Jesus’ death on a cross? Maybe not as much as you should.
You can pull out of this nose-dive. But you need to implore God’s grace. This might be a moment to intensify your prayer life and your sacrifices.
If you can at least be repentant for your sins in the moment, try to stay close to the sacrament of confession.
Also consider making some structural changes in your life.
Think about getting involved in volunteer work at the parish. If you need to break off a circle of bad friends, then do it. If your job isn’t helping you spiritually, think about seeking out another one.
And try to cultivate your gift of faith. Pray for the gift of a stronger faith.
Think about adding spiritual reading to your day. This can include the Catechism and solid spiritual books and works that explain the faith (see the offerings published by Ignatius Press, Ascension Press, Scepter, TAN Books and Catholic Answers).
Be sure not to expose yourself to secularizing media (racy movies or TV shows, or trashy magazines, for instance). Don’t be bashful about cutting totally with these media.
Also helpful is to seek out a good, regular confessor, and consider doing a retreat a solid Catholic retreat center.
If you try a few of the above suggestions, you might start seeing the landscape of your life change. You might start to see things differently. Your outlook will change. You will be giving the Holy Spirit more opportunity to work in your heart.
It would be good to cultivate a devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary through the rosary. She will be there to help you. And don’t forget about a bit of Eucharistic adoration. Jesus wants to help, too.
