Q: I got married very young, was not ready, and the marriage ended in divorce and annulment. When I was 31, I found the perfect person for me and remarried. In her late 50s, she died. What plans does God have when he allows a partner to die when marriage is supposed to be a lifelong partnership? I understand that I am free to remarry. However, I will never find someone like my wife, and I’m not really excited about the idea of remarrying in my 60s. Other people have stated that “Maybe God wants you to be alone now,” but it was God who said in Genesis 2:18 that it is not good for man to be alone. I’m confused and honestly don’t want to remarry or be alone. – S

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:

None of us wants to be alone. As humans, we are made for relationships of one kind or another. So, your desire to avoid loneliness is natural.

As you say, marriage is a lifelong partnership. This means it lasts as long as both spouses are living. When a spouse dies, the marriage is over.

If you don’t want to remarry or be alone, then you should build other kinds of relationships.

The most important relationship is the one with God. Think of dedicating yourself to an intense life of prayer and sacraments, including daily Mass. You can offer up your Masses for your deceased wife.

And think of volunteering at the parish or other places to help the poor and marginalized.

By helping others and networking with other volunteers, your sense of loneliness might lessen.

As for Genesis 2:18: Like any biblical verse, it needs to be read within the whole context of Scripture. It doesn’t imply that everyone must marry. Jesus lived a celibate life.

Also, keep in mind that this side of heaven we will never find perfect happiness. We are pilgrims in an imperfect world. All that we see around us is passing. So, we want to stay focused on the only One who can give us eternal happiness.

Count on my prayers.