Q: What is my responsibility toward non-Catholic family members and their adult children who do not profess to be Christians or believers? I’m asking with respect to the moral teaching of the Catholic Church on the issue of living together in a permanent relationship. I feel caught up in a context not of my own choosing, understanding that I’m called to respect other people but also feeling that unless I can find a way gently to encourage them toward marriage and toward seeking Jesus, who else will encourage them? They have not sought my advice. There seems to be an expectation in the family and wider community that this is not an issue to bring up. I feel very burdened about this. — L.W.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:

Given that you have a better idea of the people involved and the on-the-ground situation, only you can decide how to proceed.

If you have little or no contact with the couple, then you might want to proceed with caution, since bringing up the topic might cause more problems than it solves.

That said, you mention feeling burdened by the situation. Could it be that the Holy Spirit is nudging you to reach out to the couple?

The fact that it’s not an issue with other family members and the wider community is a sad commentary on the state of morals nowadays.

Cohabitation isn’t good for couples whether they are Catholic or not, for various reasons.

So how to approach things?

First, pray about the situation. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance for yourself and for the cohabitating couple.

Second, try to gauge how close you are to them. People might be more open to guidance if they perceive you as someone who cares for them. If you are a virtual stranger, that is a different case; they might resent your intrusion into their domestic life.

If you are fairly close to them, you might share a book with them about marriage. (Be sure to read it first!) You might find some ideas at this site.

Before approaching a couple, you might look for an opportune moment, such as when you do a favor for them. This could soften them up.

Again, you would need to decide on the details about how to proceed.

I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers.