“Ask a Priest: Not Dating Yet, But Could I Marry a Jewish Guy?”

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest
Q: I am a young professional working for a large financial institution. There is a young man at this company who graduated from the same university I did, completed an internship as I did, and loves to watch and support university sports. He is very kind and dedicated to his career. I see a lot of similarities between us. We are not dating, but I would be interested if the opportunity came up. He is Jewish, and I am not certain which branch he identifies with since our conversations have only been on less personal topics like sports and work. I really do think he is a handsome and wonderful man. Can interfaith couples experience God’s abundance grace, love and blessings? I am thinking way ahead since we aren’t even dating, but how would such a wedding ceremony take place, assuming neither converts? – M.A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It’s good at least that you are thinking of your faith already.

First, it might be good to take things one day at a time. You aren’t even dating and already you are thinking of marriage. Be careful! It’s not good to rush things.

Second, you mention that you have only spoken about sports and work. These are superficial things in the big scheme of life. Much more important is for a couple to share religious beliefs and values.

Third, the Church in general doesn’t encourage mixed marriages (between a Catholic and non-Catholic Christian) much less those involving disparity of cult (a Catholic and a non-Christian).

Notwithstanding this young man’s notable human qualities, you don’t want to underestimate the big gap in beliefs between Jews and Catholics. It would be good to read the section of the Catechism on “Mixed marriages and disparity of cult” (1633-1637).

To return to the second point above, it is interesting how much emphasis you put on your job and sports.

These certainly can have a place in your life, but it might be good to step back remember your core identity. You are a beloved daughter of God, redeemed by the blood of Christ.

The fact that your mind is already halfway up the wedding aisle might be a sign that you need to get your feet back on the ground.

For perspective and balance, it might be good to try to cultivate a network of Catholic friends. In today’s world marriage is hard enough. Deep religious differences can cause lots of tension in a marriage.

For now, it might be good to cultivate your prayer life and sacramental life and try to get involved with a parish or young adults group. Groups such as Young Catholic Professionals might be a source of support – and help you to integrate your career into your life of faith.

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!