Q: I have three questions. 1) Is it a sin to wear crop tops or strapless shirts? I understand that it is inappropriate to wear them inside the church because that is a place of adoration, but if I wear it outside of church, is this a sin? I like my sense of style and I love the way the shirts look, but I also do not want to offend God with what I’m wearing. 2) Is it a sin to cuss if you’re using it casually and it’s not directed at someone? I know the Bible states to not use language that damages others, but is saying it in another context still a sin? 3) How do I tell a venial and mortal sin apart? I have recently started getting closer to God and have felt very guilty over what I’m doing. I don’t know if it’s wrong or not, and I always feel the need to go to confession. My mom said that venial sins are different from mortal sins and those don’t need to be confessed. How do I know which ones to confess and not to confess? I feel confused and distraught. – Nancy
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: You mention that you don’t want to offend God. That is good.
What is even better is to want to please Our Lord in everything you do.
As for the first question: Generally, clothes worn in public that expose a lot of flesh do not reflect a woman’s dignity as a daughter of God.
Such clothes can prompt others to view her as an object of pleasure and not as a person created in God’s image.
By dressing modestly, a woman helps draw attention to her face — that is, to her person. It also helps the men around her to practice the virtue of purity.
(For related reading see this guide and the why of modesty.)
As for cursing: That doesn’t reflect a woman’s dignity as a daughter of God, either.
It can lower people’s opinion of her — and even lower her opinion of herself. All our words should reflect our dignity as children of God. “Whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).
As for venial vs. mortal sin: Mortal sin involves grave matter which is done willingly and with sufficient knowledge.
Mortal sins can include sins against purity (including immodest dress in some cases), abortion, ruining of other peoples’ reputations, substantial thefts, etc.
If you cultivate your prayer life and sacramental life and try to learn about the faith constantly, you will get a better sense of what is mortal sin.
One caution: Avoid the trap of thinking venial sin is no big deal. All sin offends God, and if a person shrugs off venial sin as important, the person will likely fall into mortal sin quicker than she imagines.
The Church, in fact, counsels in No. 1458 of the Catechism:
“Without being strictly necessary, confession of everyday faults (venial sins) is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church. Indeed the regular confession of our venial sins helps us form our conscience, fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit. By receiving more frequently through this sacrament the gift of the Father’s mercy, we are spurred to be merciful as he is merciful.”
So, the better question to ask yourself is: “God put me into this world to become a saint and to give him glory and to help others. How can I strive for that goal daily?”
Ask yourself that kind of question and you can keep focused on the road to holiness.
