Q: The previous, and present, hairdressers I have are both gay men. Both of them have married their partners. My question, is it wrong for me to support their business as a client even though I do not condone their style of living? – A.B.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: This is a prudential decision that you would need to make.

Most of us probably patronize businesses where the owners or employees do something that is objectively morally illicit in their private lives.

So long as we aren’t intending to support their illicit behavior or giving them substantial material support that enables their bad behavior, then we can usually do business with them. In this case we aren’t engaging in formal cooperation in evil.

The fact that your hairdressers seem to be open about their partners would indicate that they deliberately are making their lifestyles known.

Here you would need to decide whether your continued patronage would in some way imply your support for their lifestyle or whether your presence in their shop might scandalize others who assume that you are in favor of illicit behavior.

This could especially be the case if you recommend their business to your friends and family members. And keep in mind the young people in your life who might already be confused about the morality of certain practices.

It helps to think ahead, too. What will you say in the future when the hairdressers proudly show off pictures of their adopted children to you? These might be children produced by in vitro fertilization and delivered by surrogate moms — practices that are grievous offenses against the children themselves, as well as the tiny human beings who might have died during the IVF procedure. Will you congratulate the hairdressers on their children and thus confirm them in their decision?

The fact that you are sending this question might indicate that the Holy Spirit is nudging you to rethink your relationship with the hairdressers.

None of this is meant to preclude your attempts to convert them. But you want to realistic.

This is something you might want to take to prayer and see where the Holy Spirit is leading you. And don’t forget that finding another hairdresser might spare you a lot of problems down the road – someone with whom you can feel more comfortable letting down your hair.

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