Q: I have a group of secular friends who believe in abortion and gay marriage. I haven’t explicitly told them that I don’t support these things, and at times I just want to rip the Band-Aid and end the friendship. However, I know the mission is to evangelize, something very intimidating and hard for me. How can I do this with them without being too pushy or preachy? – L.R.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: The first step would be to pray and sacrifice for your friends. This could provide fertile ground on which the Holy Spirit chooses to work.
After that, why not just start sharing your views about marriage and unborn life? Your friends apparently don’t have a problem making their views known.
Perhaps you could signal your views in quiet ways, such as by wearing a pro-life “precious feet” pin, or wearing garb that shows what you think of marriage (maybe a slogan-embossed baseball cap).
Sooner or later, you will come to a fork in the road with your friends. Either you let them know where you stand on issues, or you keep quiet and run the risk of burying your beliefs.
If you go the first route, and your friends reject you, consider yourself lucky: At least you will know where they stand, and that they probably aren’t the kind of friends who will help you live your faith.
If you go the second route and keep quiet, you could end up being part of the wider problem of a world that ignores God.
On the positive side, if your “friends” reject you because of your beliefs, that could be a good motive for seeking out a network of real friends.
None of this means that you should shy from trying to evangelize others. But if people reject you, then don’t force the issue with them. Recall Jesus’ words, “Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words—go outside that house or town and shake the dust from your feet” (Matthew 10:14).
In the meantime, remember to pray and sacrifice for your friends. They need great grace to see the light.
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