“Ask a Priest: Do We Have Only One Cross in Our Lives?”

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest
Q: I know that God gives each of us a tailor-made cross suited to each individual. I am wondering, do we have only one cross, or do we get many crosses through the course of our lives? And can our mistakes and wrong choices be used by God as our cross? – O.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: When we speak of our “cross,” we shouldn’t think of it as just one, discrete difficulty.

The cross can comprise a range of things, just as it did for Christ. His suffering, for instance, wasn’t limited to the physical cross.

Jesus’ passion and death included the agony in the garden, the betrayal by Judas, the abandonment by the apostles, the mocking by the guards, the humiliating treatment by Herod, the scourging, and more.

We might have a particular cross that stands out — a disability or a troublesome child, for instance — but this is probably accompanied by others.

Now, with the eyes of faith we can see a cross as an instrument for growth in holiness. Why? Because suffering can bring the best out of us. It can teach us humility, patience, sympathy for others, and reliance on God’s providence.

In this sense, yes, God could use one of our mistakes to help us grow in holiness. The mistake can lead to a cross which in turn becomes a means toward holiness.

An example might be a woman who has had an abortion. She later repents, but the sad memory of what she has done hangs over her. That sense of remorse, that “cross,” might motivate her to dedicate herself tirelessly to pro-life work, to helping other women avoid the same mistake she made.

With God’s grace that woman can become a saint. Thus, her terrible mistake led to a cross which in turn propelled her to a life of selfless works — and a path toward holiness.

Or, to restate this another way: Saying that God “gives each of us a tailor-made cross” has some value, but it should be qualified. We shouldn’t infer that the Almighty spends his time thinking of ways to make our lives difficult.

Rather, sin brought suffering into the world, and God in his providence knows how to bring something good out of it.

Each of us is unique. Our life situations are unique. Hence, our crosses are unique. And God can use all of this in a unique way to bring each of us closer to himself.

For extra insight you might turn to our Retreat Guide, The Colors of the Cross.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

Have a question?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time.

Ask A Catholic Priest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use.  You can ask about anything: liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events. Our goal is to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

Need an answer?

Be in the know

Sign up to receive the latest questions and answers by email biweekly.

Have a Question about the Faith? Get the answer here!

Scroll to Top

Ask a Priest a Question

Please note:

Questions regarding details of abuse of minors or vulnerable adults (including pornography) could be the subject of a mandated report to civil authorities. Mandated reporters are persons identified by law who have an obligation to report suspected child abuse and neglect. 

Sign Up to Receive Ask A Priest

* indicates required

Looking for another country?

RC Near You

News & Resources

News & Resources

The Regnum Christi Mission

The Regnum Christi Identity

Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!