Q: My fiancé and I were both raised in the Catholic religion (even confirmed). We’re getting married in April but not having a Catholic wedding. We are still navigating our relationship together with the Church. Now that we will have each other and not just ourselves we want to decide how to pursue religion in the future. We just recently moved and are not parishioners at a church near us. If we do not get our marriage blessed by a priest, will we be unable to get our children baptized into the Catholic Church when that time comes if that is what we choose? Are we able to get a blessing later? – B.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: If you are concerned about your relationship with the Church and with the baptism of future children, that is a good sign. It shows that the Holy Spirit is trying to nudge you to rethink your plans.
The answer, however, isn’t to get married outside the Church and hope for the best later.
The better route is to return to the practice of the faith now and have your marriage approved by and blessed in the Church.
Marriage is difficult enough nowadays. You want to have the grace of the sacrament to support you from the start.
To get to that point, it sounds as though you and your fiancé would do well to try to learn more about your Catholic faith. Your instruction in the faith might have been weak, which could help to explain your current situation.
You might ask at the nearest parish about getting more instruction, perhaps through the OCIA program. Formerly known as the RCIA, it is designed for converts but might help you, too.
Knowing the faith well is crucial to helping you pass on the faith to your children. They won’t absorb Catholicism by simply undergoing baptism; they will need their parents’ example.
This idea undergirds canon law (that is, Church law) in No. 868, which says, “For an infant to be baptized licitly […] there must be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic religion; if such hope is altogether lacking, the baptism is to be delayed according to the prescripts of particular law after the parents have been advised about the reason.”
At this point it would be good to speak with the pastor wherever you are or wherever you will be.
He can address in depth your questions about the baptism and a future blessing of a civil marriage. Count on my prayers.
