Q: How should I manage my expectations in the confessional line? I have been turned away from confession on several occasions due to time restraints. In each case, the priest had spent an extended time (5 to 10-plus minutes) with particular penitents. I understand that each unique case requires certain attention. But as a busy mom it’s hard for me to find time to go and frustrating to be turned away after investing a half-hour or more. It makes me feel as though my sins are just not as important as the people in front of me. I understand a priest investing time in growing a penitent’s spiritual life and not rushing the person. But what about us who are left hanging? Am I wrong to think confession shouldn’t take so long? – Bridget
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: It’s wonderful to learn that you have such high regard for the sacrament of confession and are trying to take advantage of it.
Your situation is understandable. A priest often has to exit a confessional to begin a Mass or move on to his next commitment. My quick advice is not to get discouraged.
Other peoples’ confessions might seem very long as you wait in line. Some penitents have difficult situations, and so the confessor tries to take the time needed to impart sorely needed advice. Moreover, many priests might not even be aware of how many people are waiting in line.
A few suggestions might help:
If this problem is happening at your parish, you might ask the pastor whether extra time could be scheduled for confessions.
If that isn’t feasible, and your schedule is tight, you might ask a priest whether you can go to confession right after Mass or at some other moment. Some parishes will arrange appointments.
If you propose a specific time, the priest might surmise that you are well prepared and that the confession will be relatively brief.
Another option is seeing what nearby parishes offer in terms of confession times. This might give you flexibility.
A longer-term strategy is to encourage prayers and Eucharistic adoration in your area for priestly vocations. We need more confessors!
See what your parish or diocese is doing in terms of vocational promotion and ask how you can help.
Praying for priests is a good way to make sure (with the grace of God) that your children and grandchildren will have priests to serve them.
Our Lord will surely bless your efforts and make opportunities for confession more abundant.
I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers.
