Q: A few years ago, we had a family trauma regarding my son and several people who attended a Catholic school. When things got tough and we needed community, the parish was unsupportive. We found ourselves isolated from the very people we had shared pews with for so many years. That forced us to look elsewhere for support. We found a Protestant church that exemplified the things that we had expected from our church, and so we began to attend its Bible studies. For the first time I felt close to God, closer than I had ever experienced the Spirit in all my Catholic Church experiences, and I became confused. Now I have stopped attending Mass and go exclusively to my new church. But I find myself so afraid that Jesus will judge me for being a lost Catholic. Protestants do communion but it is not the same, and I cannot take it from them because of my Catholic understanding of the Eucharist. I do not know what to do. Am I condemning myself by chasing Jesus outside the Catholic faith? – D.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: I am deeply sorry to hear about the problems you and your family have experienced in your parish.
Inevitably, the Church has a human dimension which is no stranger to sin, mistakes, and bad management. Even an apostle, Judas, betrayed Our Lord.
Ultimately, we are in the Church because it is the mystical body of Christ. Its Jesus’ instrument for salvation. The Church in its spiritual dimension is pure and holy.
The Church gives us solid teaching. And it gives us the treasures of the sacraments, above all, the Eucharist, which is Jesus himself.
And it is good to remember that Jesus established a Church, not many churches.
You ask whether it’s wrong to chase Jesus outside the Catholic faith. That’s like asking whether you should pursue Jesus by rejecting the very means he gave us.
The better solution, at least for now, is to look for a Catholic parish where you will feel nourished and supported. This way, you will be able to stay close to the sacraments.
And remember: The sacraments work ex opere operato, that is, they work despite the personal holiness of the minister. (The holiness of the minister can help, of course, but it’s a secondary thing.)
The devil would love it if you and your family left the Church. He helped cause the initial problem at the school; he would be happy if the fallout tempted you and your family to leave the sacraments behind.
Again, think of seeking out another parish if that helps. It might help to seek out a solid spiritual director, too. Count on my prayers.
