Q: I lost my father as a small child. Immediately, this trauma placed me on a path of fear, dread and severe anxiety throughout my life for decades. All this was exacerbated by my mother’s serious illnesses and her passing in my mid-20s. I married and my first husband passed 10 years ago; I suffered tremendously with PTSD and complicated grief. Miraculously, God intervened and gave me a wonderful devout Catholic man three years thereafter; we married in the faith, and I loved him so deeply. He was diagnosed with cancer last year, and I lost him last spring. I am debilitated by my suffering and am completely alone with no family at age 66. I ask God why all day long. I go to Mass and cry. I go to adoration and cry. I cannot see God’s hand in this as I so often have. Can you help me? — K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:

It must be heartbreaking to have lost these loved ones in your life. Our Lord has certainly allowed heavy crosses in your life.

If you have not done so, see if there is a bereavement ministry at your parish or at another nearby venue.

And if possible, get involved in some kind of volunteer work. Being around other people on a regular basis and helping others can ease your own sense of loneliness.

One constant that hasn’t changed is your need to love and to be loved. That is why interaction with others can be so helpful.

Our Lord has allowed you to share in suffering akin to what the Blessed Virgin Mary underwent. She suffered the loss of St. Joseph and later had to endure her Son’s death on Calvary.

The fact that you attend Mass and adoration is a sign that you have probably grown in your faith, notwithstanding your suffering.

Keep up the Eucharistic adoration and attend Mass as frequently as you can. God knows that you hunger for eternal happiness, and that is what he wants to give us.

And stay close to the Virgin Mary through the rosary. She knows well the heart of a woman who has seen loved ones pass away.