Am I Wrong Not to Want to Risk Fornication in My Home?

Q: My husband wants to allow his sister and his long-term boyfriend to stay at our home. I know they vacation together often and share rooms, but my husband says he’ll tell them to sleep in separate rooms in our home. But I’m uneasy about them staying together under our roof. When we vacationed together in the past we caught her sneaking into his room in the middle of the night. I’m concerned about the example it sets for our family, especially our children, and the possibility of inappropriate behavior. I feel this could be a mortal sin, and I’m unsure how to handle it. What do you think? — V.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:

It sounds as though your concerns are well-founded, especially since your sister-in-law was sneaking into her friend’s bedroom in the past.

If she hasn’t previously respected the rules she agreed to with you and your spouse, it’s understandable that you don’t want to risk exposing your children to scandalous behavior in your own home.

It seems that you would be justified in wanting to ban her and her friend from sleeping under your roof at the same time.

You could propose a compromise. You might let her stay overnight in your home on the condition that her friend sleep in other accommodations.

It might help her to feel the consequences of her decisions.

It will certainly send a clear message about the kind of Christian home life you are trying to cultivate.

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!