Several years ago, during a lengthy silent retreat, I realized that I was frustrated with God. I’d just gone to confession, and found myself thinking about how many times I’d been to confession in the last twenty years (it numbered in the hundreds). The question—and the frustration—arose spontaneously. “Lord, why do I still need to go to confession? I’ve been to confession so many times—why haven’t you changed me? What, exactly, are you doing?”

God’s answer was simple. The goal of our lives is not sinlessness or self-perfection. The goal of our lives is not to never need God again. The whole purpose of our lives is union with the Lord: “Father… In this is eternal life. That they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent” (John 17:1-3).  This is, from beginning to end, a work of grace. And therefore, God asks us to trust him. 

In the Old Testament, the Lord queries: “Does the clay say to him who fashions it, What are you making? or Your work has no handles?” (Isaiah 45:9).  When we don’t understand what the Lord is doing—or not doing—how much can we trust him? When “his work has no handles,” when we simply cannot grasp his purpose, how much can we trust him?

Then in John 5:17, Jesus promises us that he and the Father are always at work. He does not, however, promise us that we will see his work or understand it when, and as, we might wish.

When we find ourselves at a loss, when we cannot understand, when we realize that we are frustrated with God, might he be calling us to trustingly accept that he is the good potter, and we are the clay? And can we then share our inner world with him, and decide to say “yes” right now, with faith, with hope, and with love?

God bless,

Fr. John Pietropaoli