May I Leave the Church to Stay Close to My Fiancée?

Q: Is it OK if I leave the Catholic Church for a Christian denomination to save my relationship with my fiancée since she won’t see a Christian therapist? — Caden

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:

A: From the limited information you provide, it’s not at all clear why you think joining a non-Catholic Christian denomination would be a helpful step.

On the spiritual level, Jesus has to come first in your life, and the Catholic Church was founded by Our Lord to help us reach heaven. Turning your back on his Church is not going to help you in the deepest sense, and therefore ultimately it will not be of help to your fiancée.

On a practical level, if you leave the Church, you wouldn’t be able to marry validly outside the Church. This in itself could lead to more complications and unwanted consequences for the future.

On the level of relationships, it is not clear why a therapist, Christian or not, comes into the picture.

If your fiancée is struggling with personal issues, then of course it’s good that she seeks help with those issues.

Having said that, it is not clear how this relates to your having to leave the Church. You won’t fix her problems by producing a problem for yourself.

Without knowing more details, I’d suggest that you speak with your confessor or pastor.

In the meantime, you might want to intensify your prayers for your fiancée and for yourself.

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!