Q: Raising children has been rewarding but also challenging when messages are geared toward them that don’t align with God’s truth. I have become obsessed with watching every movie, reading every book, etc., to make sure that my kids don’t get messages that will confuse them about what is morally right and wrong. I discovered a children’s Christmas movie on Netflix, rated G, which showed two men kissing. I can’t control everything. Sometimes, I just want to put my trust in God regarding my children’s safety without having to obsess. My husband and I make every effort to teach our children what God’s truth looks like, and I just pray that the outside voices are not louder than ours. At what point can I just relax, knowing that God is ultimately in control, and why am I finding this so hard to do? – J.A.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:
Your desire to raise your children in the faith is admirable. It’s no easy task in today’s culture. In fact, it has never been easy.
The ideal is to strike a balance between, on the one hand, prudently protecting your children from danger, and, on the other hand, helping them to develop the skills they need to navigate life.
As for your questions:
You should realize right now that God is ultimately in control. This is always true.
As for relaxing, that is a relative matter. We always need to remain vigilant.
But we should always have faith in God. If you are struggling to trust in God, you might be relying too much on your efforts.
As the adage goes: We should pray as though everything depends on God, and work as though everything depends on us.
So, the first suggestion is: Pray for an increase in faith. And remember that God loves your children even more than you do.
The second piece of advice is: Focus on teaching the positive aspects of sexuality (in an age-appropriate way) and morality in general. This can help foster dialogue within the family and form the children well in the faith.
Also, be sure that purity permeates your home. This can be reflected in the modest way that everyone dresses and speaks, and in the media you access. Considering keeping a video library of the oldies but goodies and consider purging Netflix and similar services from your home.
Another suggestion is to get the children involved in a solid youth club. Regnum Christi, which oversees this website, has Conquest clubs for boys and Challenge clubs for girls. These are aimed at solid spiritual formation.
For more ideas about raising faithful children, check out the Catholic Hom site.
In any case, don’t underestimate the impact you have on your children. You enjoy a grace of state that assists you and your husband in passing on the faith. Count on my prayers.
