Q: My altar server friends talk and even say bad words during Mass. And it’s common for people to go up into the sanctuary, to leave trash around church, and to act without reverence during the consecration at Mass. I know I mustn’t condemn them, but I wonder if we have lost the faith. How would you suggest that I talk to my parish priest or even a bishop about the problem? – V.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:

The lack of proper reverence for the sacred is widespread and has been decades in the making. The reasons are numerous.

Fortunately, there has also been an increase in reverence in many parishes, as Eucharistic devotion has had a comeback.

In your case, it would be better to try to deal with the issue at the local level.

The first piece of advice is to set a good example. If you serve at Mass, serve with great reverence. If you see trash about the church, pick it up if possible.

If you decide to approach a priest at the parish, try to build your relationship with him first. Be the first to volunteer for things. Show him your desire to help the parish.

Then, if you want to raise the issue of shoddy behavior, look for an opportune moment. Wait for a calm moment when you can approach him.

Thank him for his service and point out a thing or two you like about the parish.

When you share your specific concerns, do it charitably and objectively, without any judgmental overtones.

Be prepared to offer suggestions if the priest asks for ways to remedy the situation. You could offer to do a quick cleanup around the church right before or after Mass, for instance.

For other ideas you might look at this post from the Arkansas Catholic.

Don’t get discouraged if change doesn’t happen right away. Old habits die hard. 

Just recall that the intention should be to help others appreciate the sacred. It’s a tall task, but change must start somewhere, somehow.

It would be good to pray about the matter first and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. Count on my prayers.