Q: My girlfriend, whom I have been dating for almost two years and love dearly, believes for several reasons she will face a high-risk pregnancy. She believes she would die or the baby would die. Convinced of this, she’s asked me to get a vasectomy, or she wants to get her tubes tied. Would I still be able to marry her and receive the sacrament of marriage? — D.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:

Since you don’t mention any reasons for your girlfriend’s fears, it might be good to encourage to get another medical opinion.

It would be good for her speak to a faithful Catholic doctor. She might consider reaching out to a NaProTechnology physician.

It is possible that your friend’s medical problems might be shaking her faith, too.

Part of being Christian is recognizing our limitations but also having confidence in God’s providence. This is true especially for married couples; they never know what is ahead, yet they are willing to commit to each other.

This is a moment when you and she would do well to intensify your prayer lives and sacramental lives.

That said, let’s turn to your question.

To undergo sterilization would be a grave offense against God. It is a form of self-mutilation that goes against the commandment “Thou shalt not kill.”

Your girlfriend, possibly motivated by fear, is in effect is asking you to offend God gravely in order to keep her calm.

This is a formula for disaster. 

Grave sin — especially one whose effects will likely be permanent — is never a foundation for a happy life. 

Any Catholic marriage worth its salt needs to have God at the center.

It might be good to have a heart-to-heart talk with your girlfriend. And keep God at the heart of your priorities.

One of a husband’s key duties is to help his spouse get to heaven. This will require leadership and lots of trust in Our Lord.

It might be good to speak with your pastor or confessor about the situation.

Count on my prayers.