Day 20
Loving One Another as Christ Loves Us
To be able to discover the actual will of the Lord in our lives always involves the following: a receptive listening to the Word of God and the Church, fervent and constant prayer, recourse to a wise and loving spiritual guide, and a faithful discernment of the gifts and talents given by God, as well as the diverse social and historic situations in which one lives.
— St. John Paul II, Christifideles Laici,
Although each one of us has a personal relationship with God, that relationship takes root and grows within a larger network of relationships within the Church. When we are baptized, we are inserted into Christ’s mystical body; we are made members of “a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people of his own,” as St. Peter reminds us in 1 Peter 2:9.
The Christian Identification Card
The fact that we are called to be Christ’s companions (in the plural), called to walk with him in loving fellowship with our brothers and sisters in the Church, is so important to Jesus that he made it the main identification badge of all Christians. During the Last Supper, he told his apostles that to be his disciples meant following his commandments, and he condensed those commandments to one: “Love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12).
He went on to say that the world will recognize us as his followers precisely through our fellowship, through our living in love and faith-filled union with each other: “This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). The key theological reason behind the importance Jesus gives to this loving unity among his followers goes back to the very beginning when God created us. He created the human family “in his image . . . in the image of God he created them” (Genesis 1:27). God’s core identity is a Trinity: one divine nature and three divine persons. He is a community, a family — a unique one, because he is only one God, not three gods. The Church is God’s way of redeeming this damaged aspect of the fallen human race, this divine image in which we were created:
[God] calls together all men, scattered and divided by sin, into the unity of his family, the Church. To accomplish this, when the fullness of time had come, God sent his Son as the Redeemer and Savior. (CCC, 1)
But there is a practical reason, too. Simply put, we need each other. We can’t finish our Christian pilgrimage alone. We need the strength, the light, the guidance, the encouragement, and the help that comes from traveling with other pilgrims.
The First Form of Fellowship
The first and fundamental manifestation of Christian fellowship comes in the worship of the Christian community, and this is expressed most intensely and fully in the celebration of the sacraments. Christian fellowship is only Christian because its core is Christ himself. This is why Jesus summoned his first apostles “that they might be with him” (Mark 3:14). He is the Savior; he is the Redeemer. It was through the mystery of his passion, death, and resurrection that the Church — the renewed communion of mankind with God and in God with each other — was born.
The celebration of the sacraments links the Church to that mystery. The whole liturgical life of the new people of God is like the heartbeat of that Church: “Through the liturgy, Christ, our redeemer and high priest, continues the work of our redemption in, with, and through his Church” (CCC, 1069). The liturgy also introduces us to the spiritually fruitful, and even necessary, devotion to saints and angels and, in a special way, to the Blessed Virgin Mary — important allies in our spiritual battles.
The Sunday Eucharist is the center of the Church’s liturgical life. But the other sacraments are also opportunities to live and grow and benefit from this fellowship. We go to confession to ask for and receive God’s forgiveness and also for reconciliation with the community that we damage by our sins. We comfort the sick and dying by bringing them Christ’s holy anointing. We gather with our fellow Christian pilgrims for baptisms and confirmations, for marriages and ordinations, supporting and being supported by one another even as we open up the floodgates of God’s grace toward every corner of human experience.
And the primary place for this sacramental fellowship is the parish — a kind of local incarnation, through the Church’s diocesan structure, of the universal Church. Staying plugged in and contributing to our parishes or our religious communities is the bread and butter of Christian fellowship.
The Second Form of Fellowship
The Christian family, built up around the sacrament of marriage, is another place where this loving fellowship is meant to be lived out. In fact, Christian tradition, spiritualizing a term originally used to refer only to buildings, has come to see the family as a “domestic church.” The natural bonds and affection that flow from familial relations are bridges, so to speak, over which God’s grace can flow in wonderful abundance if we consciously build our families around their real center: Jesus and his truth, his love, his mission.
It has never been easy to do this, because the effects of original sin are still with us, and our selfishness and woundedness make healthy family life a demanding work in progress. In a post-Christian culture, where family life is under attack legally, economically, educationally, and culturally, building the domestic church is harder than ever; it takes an almost heroic effort. But God’s grace will always come to our aid.
The Role of Faith-Based Friendships
Friendship is one of the most beautiful human experiences, and Jesus himself praised and prized it. “I no longer call you slaves,” he told his apostles at the Last Supper, “because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father” (John 15:15). Friendship has been valued in every period and place of human history, even long before the time of Christ. It is another manifestation of our being created in the image of God, created to live in communion of life with other persons. It contributes joy, comfort, inspiration, and meaning to our lives.
But with the coming of Christ, even this beautiful human reality has been enhanced. A faith-based, Christ-centered friendship is a deeper, stronger, and longer-lasting friendship than any of the ancient philosophers could have imagined, for one simple reason: Christ himself is part of it. He promised this in one of the most beautiful verses of the New Testament: “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20).
Faith-based friendships are an important aspect of Christian fellowship; they help keep us accountable, they help support us in times of temptation, they help heal our emotional wounds, they spur us on to growth in virtue, they delight and comfort us at the deeper levels of our soul, and they help keep Jesus close to us.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that we can’t have non-Christian friends, but we do need to make a point of investing in some friendships that are built with natural as well as supernatural ties. If our faith is our highest priority, we will feel the need for friends who share that priority. And if we don’t look for them and invest in them, we may gradually find our priorities getting confused. St. Paul gave a warning in this regard to the Christians in Corinth: “Do not be led astray,” he wrote to them; “bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33).
The Benefits of Spiritual Direction
Finally, growing to spiritual maturity requires the direct assistance of a spiritual coach, which Christian tradition generally calls a spiritual director. We need an ongoing relationship with someone who knows the spiritual ropes, who has traveled the road ahead of us and has a healthy share of the gift of counsel, who can help uncover our blind spots and discern how the Holy Spirit is moving in our lives and how we should respond. We need teachers, mentors, coaches, trainers, and guides in every other area of human life where we want to improve and grow, so it only makes sense that we would need one here as well. As Pope Benedict XVI explained to a group of future spiritual directors:
The Church continues to recommend the practice of spiritual direction, not only to all those who wish to follow the Lord up close, but to every Christian who wishes to live responsibly his baptism, that is, the new life in Christ.
Questions for Personal Reflection or Group Discussion
What idea in this reflection struck you most and why?
What characteristics of your daily life make it hard for you to have meaningful fellowship?
What have been your most meaningful family experiences? What can you do to contribute more to building up your family as a domestic church?
The Book of Proverbs observes: “Iron is sharpened by iron; one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). What will you do today to take better advantage of this part of your Christian life?
- I will invest meaningfully in one of my faith-based friendships by spending time with someone I haven’t spent much time with lately.
- I will start asking around to see about finding a spiritual director.
- I will take some time to see all of the different programs and activities offered by my parish, and I will sign up for one of them.
- (Write your own resolution) I will
Concluding Prayer
It is truly right and just that we should always give you thanks, Lord holy Father, almighty and eternal God.
For you do not cease to spur us on to possess a more abundant life and, being rich in mercy, you constantly offer pardon and call on sinners to trust in your forgiveness alone.
Never did you turn away from us, and, though time and again we have broken your covenant, you have bound the human family to yourself through Jesus your Son, our Redeemer, with a new bond of love so tight that it can never be undone.
Even now you set before your people a time of grace and reconciliation, and, as they turn back to you in spirit, you grant them hope in Christ Jesus and a desire to be of service to all, while they entrust themselves more fully to the Holy Spirit.
And so, filled with wonder, we extol the power of your love, and proclaiming our joy at the salvation that comes from you, we join in the heavenly hymn of countless hosts, as without end we acclaim . . .
— Roman Missal, Preface for Reconciliation I
