Q: Do I need to do a second confession if I did the first confession last week after almost a year? I went to confession on a Saturday afternoon, and that same evening my boyfriend and I went to a comedy show where they happened to be speaking some explicit sexual jokes – something I wasn’t expecting. In the back of my mind I told myself that I wasn’t ready to receive Communion the next day because my mind was already polluted by the show. So, do I need to go for another confession? Let me know, please. – A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: If the jokes were unexpected, and if you didn’t “give in” to them or consent to any impure thoughts, etc., then it seems you didn’t commit any mortal sin. If that is the case, you could receive Communion.

It’s good, though, that you apparently refrained from receiving Communion because of your doubts in this case. That shows that your conscience is active.

That said, this might be a good moment for a heart-to-heart talk with your boyfriend, and to figure out how you both ended up in this show.

For instance, did the two of you do enough research beforehand? Were there any telltale signs that things would be a bit risqué? Was the venue recommended by friends?

In other words, this might be a good moment to step back and look at the bigger picture of your social life.

For instance, what is the normal center of gravity in your relationship? Do you attend Mass together? Do you encourage each other in the prayer life? Do you attend Catholic events (for instance, adoration or formative lectures)?

It might be a good moment to make sure your time together is spent in worthwhile activities. This is how you can get to know each other better and to see if your values and aspirations are compatible.

Good, too, would be to take advantage of the sacrament of confession more often. It’s not just meant for serious sins. It’s a sacrament that can help you and your friend grow in holiness. I hope some of this helps.

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