Q: I’ll be a freshman this fall and am already quite worried about being put in a college environment while trying to hold on to my Catholic beliefs. I already feel pressured to fit in with my friends. A lot of them are probably going to want to go to parties around campus that involve drinking. I know drinking isn’t inherently a sin, but I am underage and don’t plan on drinking at these parties at all. Am I being sinful or choosing to live a life with God and the world at once by going to these parties in the first place and not drinking? If I don’t drink and stay firm to my beliefs when asked, will God be upset with me that I am putting myself in sinful environments? I don’t want to be excluded from meeting people and making connections. – J.B.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: You seem to have set up a false dilemma: either you go to the parties or you won’t meet people.
Let’s unpack this a bit.
You refer to going to parties and not drinking, but you mention “sinful environments.”
The question is, will these parties be near occasions of sin for you? Here you need to know yourself.
You say that you already feel pressured. You want to be realistic about how well and how long you would resist the urge to be drawn into the drinking.
If you are leaving home for the first time, it could take a while to develop your sea legs on the turbulent waters of campus life. The temptation to fit in with a group will be strong.
Your e-mail implies that this is the only kind of socializing on campus. Have you investigated other activities? Is there a Newman Center on the campus? Are there Catholic clubs you could join?
You might check out the FOCUS site to see whether it has a chapter at the school.
So, try to plan. You need to network with other students who are serious about their faith. This will be a big help for your living of the faith.
You might want to start this research soon … before you find yourself in the deep end of the pool.
In any case, dedicate time to prayer each day and stay close to the sacraments. Count on my prayers.
