October 3, 2025

Q: I’m dating someone who is nondenominational and we are having arguments over confession. I am Catholic and believe that there are two types of sins: venial and mortal sins. She believes that there is just one type of sin and that Jesus died for those sins. If Jesus died for our sins, why do we need to go to confession? And why are mortal sins only forgiven through confession? Are there any Bible verses that can help explain this? My girlfriend is very Bible-focused and is a bit skeptical of the Catholic Church. – Cole

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:

That sin can be venial or mortal is evident in 1 John 5:16-17:

“If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life. This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray. All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not deadly.”

Deadly sin is mortal sin.

But let’s back up a bit.

To say that Jesus died for our sins means that by his death he redeemed us from sin.

Redemption is part of the process of salvation, but it’s not salvation itself.

Think of redemption this way. When we sin, we offend an infinitely good God. That means there is an infinite dimension to our sins. There is a debt with an infinite dimension to be paid.

Being limited creatures, we can’t pay that infinite debt. Only God can do it. And that is what Jesus did: He paid the price for our sins. 

But he doesn’t force his redemptive work on us. We need to live in accord with his teachings and to be repentant for our sins. And we need to be free of deadly (mortal) sin at the moment of death to avoid eternal punishment.

Some Christians have the faulty idea that they are guaranteed salvation since they proclaim Jesus as their Lord and savior. 

That isn’t what Jesus taught. “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven” (Matthew 7:21).

Let’s say that people are repentant for their sins. Why do we need confession? 

One simple answer is that Jesus himself established the sacrament. 

In fact, it’s one of the first things he does after the Resurrection. “And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained’” (John 20:22-23).

Confession has long been seen as a kind of second baptism. Just as baptism takes away any sins on a soul, so the sacrament of confession can take away sins that might be committed by someone who is already baptized. 

“The Fathers of the Church present this sacrament as ‘the second plank [of salvation] after the shipwreck which is the loss of grace’” (Catechism, 1446).

Now, the Church teaches that venial sin can be forgiven outside of the sacrament of confession; some of the means for this are prayer, almsgiving, fasting and worthy reception of Communion.

The ordinary means for forgiveness of mortal sin, however, is the sacrament of confession.

For related reading, see these Catholic Answers posts on the difference between being redeemed and saved; the so-called assurance of salvation; and the biblical case for confession.

In any case, it is good that you and your friend are talking about religious matters and not sweeping things under the carpet.

If ever you decide to marry a non-Catholic, you would need to promise to raise the children in the Catholic faith. 

Of any potential wife you need to ask yourself, “Will she help to raise our kids in the faith?”

I hope that some of this helps. Count on my prayers.