“Ask a Priest: Could I Still Mix With People Who Might Lead Me to Sin?”
Q: Yesterday I went to confession. I was hesitant to enter because I read on the pamphlet that I would have to avoid the people, places, and things that cause me to sin. This for me would be to avoid my friends of many years (since seventh grade, I’m 21 now). I went into the confessional and kept debating if I would be able to do this. Now I am stuck. I really want to please God, and I do want to avoid sin as much as possible. But there’s a part of me that hopes that I can still somewhat talk to my friends when they aren’t doing sinful things. Is it possible to keep such friends if I am able to avoid the situations that lead me to sin? – L.R.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: While I haven’t seen that pamphlet that you mention, it sounds as though it needs to be understood in context.
Even family members can be a source of friction and sin for us (such as anger), but that doesn’t mean we should avoid them. We can’t live in a cave.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to your question. My suggestion is that you need to work on yourself — your prayer life and sacramental life and your habit of doing acts of charity — and to see what you can do to evangelize your friends.
Over time, you need to ask whether they are improving or whether they are dragging you down. For “Bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33).
Part of the process of coming of age is evaluating your friends and deciding which ones to keep and which ones to keep away from.
Yes, we are called to evangelize, but in a way that doesn’t endanger our own moral living.
This is crucial today because the winds of secularism, if not outright paganism, are blowing hard. A person who’s not well-grounded in the faith can easily be blown away.
To stay well-grounded, you might want to seek out a solid, regular confessor or spiritual director to guide you.
You also might want to periodically review where each of your relationships is going, and which ones might be worth ending. Call it social housecleaning if you will.
Even Jesus, who sought out the lost sheep of Israel and didn’t shy from eating with sinners, told his disciples to “shake the dust from your feet” as a testament against those who refused to listen to the message of the Kingdom of God.
In the meantime, be sure to cultivate friendships with folks who take their faith seriously. Having a network of like-minded believers can be a source of great support in a world gone adrift.
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