“Ask a Priest: Must We Tell Everything in Confession?”
Q: Do we have to say everything in a confession? Thank you. – Adelaide
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: It depends on what you mean by “everything.”
At the very least, we need to tell all our mortal sins and the number of times we committed them.
We also need to give enough detail to let the confessor know the nature of the sins, since that can indicate the gravity of the offense.
To steal $5 from your mom’s purse is one thing; to steal $5 from the poor box at church adds the sin of sacrilege. The former could be a venial sin, the latter a mortal sin.
And as for venial sins, the Catechism in No. 1458 says: “Without being strictly necessary, confession of everyday faults (venial sins) is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church. Indeed the regular confession of our venial sins helps us form our conscience, fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit.”
We don’t need to spell out every detail of every venial sin (“I was uncharitable to Bertha, my second cousin twice removed, who was visiting from Ashtabula, Ohio, at Thanksgiving”).
But again, we should give details if vagueness would cover up the seriousness of a sin.
For instance, if we commit perjury in court and our testimony sends an innocent man to prison, we shouldn’t just confess, “I lied.”
Or if we steal our neighbor’s $70,000 SUV, we shouldn’t just say, “I took something that didn’t belong to me.”
The point is that we need to be more specific if there is an element that adds to the gravity of a sin.
In any case, remember that it’s Jesus to whom we confess. And there is no hiding anything from him.
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