October 29, 2024

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Is Wanting to Look Thin Sinful?”

Q: Is it a sin to want to lose weight if you are not overweight to start with? If not, when does it fall into the sin of vanity? Is it a sin if you want to lose weight to be happier/more satisfied with your appearance if you’re at a healthy weight already? I have confessed the sin of vanity in the past, and I want to avoid the temptation to that sin. But does that mean that I can’t try to lose weight (as that would have me focusing on appearance)? These questions have been on my mind recently. – L.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Wanting to lose weight for the sake of one’s appearance rather than for health reasons sounds like vanity.

That isn’t to say that every act of vanity is sinful. At times it could be an imperfection.

Now, it is laudable that we want to present ourselves well in public. In fact, it can be a form of courtesy to others that also promotes civility in society.

We probably wouldn’t think of just rolling out of bed and into the office or classroom, for instance, without having first showered and groomed ourselves. This makes it easier to interact with others.

So where does vanity cross the line into sinfulness? That is harder to say. There is no one-size-fits-all answer.

This is where it helps to keep a balance in the rest of your life; that is, make time for prayer and the sacraments, and be generous with those in need. Take care of yourself, but not at the neglect of God and others.

Remember the counsel to wives (and applicable to all women) in 1 Peter 3:3-4. “Your adornment should not be an external one […] but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God.”

In any case, taking care of yourself requires that you eat enough food. If weight loss ever becomes an obsession with you, it would be good to speak with a doctor. Excessive weight loss could stem from an inner compulsion that isn’t rooted in reality.

You want to aim for balance.

 

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Adjusting to Change

Greetings Friends,

As leaves change here in the Midwest and some school sport seasons enter “finals,” those in publishing already shifted gears toward the Advent of Christmas.  At RCSpirituality, you might have noticed that we have also “shifted” our homes.

Not one to embrace change lightly, I cling to the known good and dread any loss, while also trying to anticipate uncertain goods. Eventually, I “adjust” to see the good that could only have happened with both change and loss. A clear example happened 20 years ago for me; an event I now recall to stem dread and embrace the new when change is forced upon me.

I relocated 500 miles to be near family and help aging parents, and the new employer knew before hiring that I could not work overtime. Within two months, however, my team was told to work 12 hours daily, Monday through Saturday, until a project was completed, hopefully within three months. They had my notice the next day.

After living single for six years, it was now 24/7 with my parents, assisting one with advanced dementia—and my former friend-support system was far away. “Adjusting” was a minute-by-minute endeavor. But within a week of my new unemployment, my sister began labor with Mom’s first grandbaby—400 miles away! My joblessness enabled Mom to leave immediately, Dad in my care, and she witnessed my niece’s birth! After Mom’s stay there to help with their homecoming … I was able travel to be the first auntie to hold baby Kara.

A new job in a better environment was found, at just the right time, with priceless gifts of unrepeatable, shared family experiences added to our life’s treasury. God’s Providence is so perfect, but incomprehensible in the moments of unchosen change!

Less dramatic, though we pray still impactful—RCSpirituality’s new website home unites our Regnum Christi family a little closer. We were led to share resources, as we already share a common mission, and so, we pray daily for God’s guidance in this ongoing endeavor. We pray that our intentional diligence to retain insights and inspiration while increasing faith-filled resources available to you is complete enough that, perhaps, after some “adjusting,” you’ll eventually find God has led you to greater blessings in our Regnum Christi family’s treasure chest of spiritual offerings.

Linda Bader

RCSpirituality Support

Adjusting to Change Read More »

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Uncle Eddy

St Mary of Edessa

Dear Edie,

I am in a terrible rush.  It seems that there’s been some kind of outbreak of voodoo among the guards here, and I am to be brought as a witness to a trial that begins tonight.  Thus, I don’t know when I’ll be back, and I wanted to answer your last note as soon as possible. I am sure you’ll forgive any traces of incoherence left by my forced brevity.

I would advise you not to leave college just yet, rather, add another half hour of prayer (Christian meditation, you know what I mean) to your daily schedule, preferably in the evening, so that you are starting and ending the days in heart-to-heart conversation with the Lord.  That will gradually confirm you in what he is asking of you – either to take a semester off in order to serve the Church more directly, or continue your studies and serve him that way. Your heart seems to be in the right place – you’re not trying to escape or anything, so the extra time in prayer will, I am certain, give you the light and strength you need.

Just watch out for subtle temptations.  It seems God has a wonderful and extraordinary vocation for you, so the devil will by sly and devious in trying to ruin it, as he was with today’s saint.  She was St Abraham’s niece (you remember the Mesopotamian wonder-worker who converted whole towns with his tears, who spent his life in a stone cell on a mountain, refusing even to take possession of the immense riches he inherited, don’t you?).  When her father died, Abraham took her under his wing, built a cell for her near him, and taught her the deep and wonderful ways of prayer and penance. She advanced quickly in the spiritual life, and became known for her piety and wise advice. Then the devil struck.  A bad monk (a wolf in sheep’s clothing, really) began to frequent St Abraham’s cell pretending to seek spiritual guidance. In fact, however, he was using his frequent visits to confuse and seduce Maria. Unfortunately, he succeeded. After he fall, she gave in to yet another temptation – despair.  Thinking herself unforgivable, she fled her hermitage and took up residence in an Inn near a big city, where she gave herself over completely to dissolute and dishonorable living. St Abraham heard of her plight, prayed and did penance for her, and eventually went out to rescue her. He disguised himself as a native townsman and solicited her at the Inn.  When they were alone, he revealed his true identity and encouraged her to come back to her Lord. She was filled with remorse, threw herself on her knees, repented, and placed her soul under his care. He put her on his own horse and led her back to her cell, where he joined fervent prayers and penances to wise advice, such that she soon reformed and regained her previous holiness.  For the last years of her life, she prayed in seclusion and obtained from God’s goodness many miraculous favors for the benefit of the people living nearby.

Even those well advanced on the road to holiness, you see, can fall into the most degrading sins.  So keep your prayer light on, and stay close to Christ, and beware the deceptions of the devil – God will take care of the rest.  Gotta go.

Your devoted uncle, Eddy

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!