August 16, 2024

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Should I Date Someone Who Isn’t a Virgin?”

Q: I recently asked a young woman to be my girlfriend and she said yes, but soon after that she told me that she isn’t a virgin. I told her that it doesn’t matter, but on the inside, I feel very sad and anguished. I don’t know if I should keep dating her now. I don’t know what to do. – J.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It’s understandable that you would be looking for an ideal girlfriend. That is your choice.

If the young woman has confessed her past sins, then God has forgiven her.

People make mistakes. If she seems contrite and is committed to having a chaste relationship, you might consider giving her a chance.

It’s one thing for a person to have had a one-time fall that she regrets. It’s a different case if someone had been cohabitating or behaving promiscuously for years and shrugged it off.

If you don’t feel comfortable giving her a chance, you might ask yourself how you will deal with any woman who either has made mistakes in the past or who will make mistakes in the future.

A big part of marriage is the ability of spouses to forgive each other for all kinds of failings.

Sometimes, people who have made mistakes and who then find someone who accepts them despite the mistakes, can turn out to be extremely loyal and loving.

In any case, if you find it emotionally hard to accept this young woman’s mistake, you are not obliged to date her further.

Perhaps this is something to take to prayer. Pray for your friend, too. She, like most people, is a work in progress. And possibly a saint in the making.

 

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Uncle Eddy

St Rock

Dear Rick,

Glad to hear that you’re conscientiously gearing up for your senior year.  During this year, whether you like it or not, the buck is going to stop with you.  You’re one of the leaders there, by default, and the younger students will be looking to you for guidance, consciously or not.  You can do an immense amount of good simply by responsibly living out your duties as a Christian. If the frosh see you praying, it will be easier for them to make time to pray; if they see you balancing your social life, your studies, and your apostolate sensibly and elegantly, it will help them make wise use of their time; and if they see that you care just as much about them and the other students on campus as you do about yourself, it will encourage them to shed their own tendencies to immature ego-centrism.  You’ll need some inspiration to persevere in these good works – today’s saint can give it to you.

Rock (Roch in the French – he was born in south-central France – and Rocco in the Italian – he traveled extensively through Italy) was the son of a rich nobleman.  But he longed for more than earthly wealth could give. By the time he had finished his education at the age of twenty he had lost both his parents. He decided to dedicate himself to the only lasting value we can find in this world: Christ.  He sold all his goods and property, distributed the money to the poor, donned a drab pilgrim’s habit, and set off, barefoot, on a pilgrimage to Rome.

He didn’t get very far, though.  Once he made it into northern Italy he saw so much misery among the people, who had been suffering from a series of horrible, seemingly incurable plagues, that he set aside his own plans, rolled up his sleeves, and followed Christ’s commandment of love, loving his neighbor just as Christ had loved his disciples, by risking his own life for their salvation – since those who tended the plague stricken were most often contaminated themselves.  The risks didn’t deter him, however.

St Rock tended the hundreds of victims interred in the hospitals, but soon realized that there were many more who were suffering on their own, abandoned, so he went in search of them.  From town to town he spread the goodness of Christ. Many witnesses spread the news that Rock could even miraculously cure the victims merely by making the sign of the cross over them. Eventually he did make it to Rome, where he continued his work, his begging, and his daily prayers, now offered up at the tombs of the Apostles.

On his way back to France he finally caught the plague himself.  Instead of taking up a bed in the hospital, he retreated into the woods to die there, inconveniencing no one.  But a dog found him, and began to bring him food from his master’s table every day. Slowly the saint recovered, and when the dog’s owner followed the odd pet into the forest one day, he found the saint and took him under his care until he was fully healthy.  Before leaving, Rock baptized his benefactor – he always gave more than he received.

On his return trip he was arrested as a spy (there were a lot of inter-city wars going on in those days).  He didn’t resist the trumped-up charges, and spent the last five years of his life wasting away in a dungeon, where, finally, he was found dead (and his limp jailor was healed when he kicked the body to verify death).

Sometimes these heroic lives just make me shake my head and wonder: how did they do it?  But the answer is simple, which is why I have such high hopes for you to follow the same path of holiness: love Christ above all things, and love your neighbor as your self.  If that’s your motto this year, you’ll surely shine like the sun on a campus that could use a bit more moral light.

Your devoted uncle, Eddy

 

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August 16, 2024 – From the Beginning It Was Not So…

 

 

 

Friday of the Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time

 

 

Matthew 19:3-12

Some Pharisees approached Jesus, and tested him, saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?” He said in reply, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.” They said to him, “Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss her?” He said to them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery.” His disciples said to him, “If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” He answered, “Not all can accept this word, but only those to whom that is granted. Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it.”

Introductory Prayer: Lord God, I believe in your presence here with me as I begin this moment of prayer. I hope in you. I know that you will always take care of me. I want this time with you to be a sign of my love for you. I seek only to please you, without desiring any spiritual consolation for myself.

Petition: Lord God, fill me with your grace so I can meet your lofty expectations.

1. Hardness of Their Hearts: The Pharisees heard Jesus’ teaching against divorce at the Sermon on the Mount, a teaching that contradicted the practice of the Jews. And so they sought to trap him in this instance into putting his teaching in opposition to Moses. They were hoping to discredit him. But Jesus knew their twisted intentions and grounded his teaching on God’s original plan for man and woman. He knew that they were looking to get around the will of God and carve exceptions. Jesus felt no need to pander to the crowd or offer an easier way out when challenged. His focus was on what God intended. Even today he challenges everyone to respond.

2. A New Law: Jesus’ teaching seems so counter-cultural, no less today than in his own time. How can he be so bold and ask for so much, since we still labor under the same sin, imperfection, and hardness of heart as the people of Moses’ time and his time? The key is that Jesus does not simply add new laws; he brings the grace to be able to live as God intended “from the beginning,” that is, before sin entered the world. Christ can ask more of us because he himself brings the grace for us to live our lives before God in a new way. By grace we are made “new men (and women) in Christ” and transformed into children of God who are empowered to live in holiness and the full truth.

3. Never Give Up: The disciples seem to be discouraged at first, because the new teaching of Jesus is difficult to live: “Then it is better not to marry.” They are seeing things through their own narrow experience and through the lens of popular opinion. Yet they must make the transforming encounter with the grace of Christ. We, too, need to believe in that grace and to communicate it to others, since it enables us to love others “as he loved us.” It is what brings the vitality and freshness to our Christian lives and makes us able to offer something new and hopeful to the world around us.

Conversation with Christ: Jesus, give me the faith and confidence to believe with all my heart that your grace is enough for me. Teach me to believe that your commands are always supported by your grace and that I can live as a new man or woman in you.

Resolution: I will ask for an unbreakable hope in the power of God’s grace acting in me.

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!